Life is hurricane
It never goes my way
Always being destructive
And ruining ****

Im ******
Ready to say my goodbyes
Thought life was supposed to be majestic

No!
Instead it's a heartache
Why do these things happen?
Such wonderful people dyeing
And such terrible people living

Friable- because I was easily broken into many pieces

Insecure- because I'm ashamed of myself

Nepenthe- because I need it to make me forget all my grief and suffering

E**rlebnisse- because I was forced to live through terrible experiences

I've learned that God will take if you don't appreciate.

I can't sing
I can't dance
I can't play instruments
I can't play sports
I can't always do my best
And I can't be perfect

But I can make mistakes
I can forget to forgive
I can give up
I can be emotional
I can do wrong
and I can be imperfect

Images
Of our memories
Memories covered in darkness

Images
Of our romance
Romance without love

Your figure tips across my skin
Your lips pressed gently against mine
Your hand in mine
Our feet swaying side to side
We dance
These are my favorite images
You said you would never forget these images

Now in images I only see
Tall buildings in the distance
Reality finally caught up to me
I love you and I thought you loved me too
Ofcourse I never want you to be unhappy
So I'll say goodbye
And promise to never let you hear me cry from heartbreak
Then it'll be easier for you

Goodbye my loveless soul mate
Don't worry about remembering images
Images of how you blew me away
Like a crumbled sheet of paper flowing in the wind

Your figure tips across my skin
Your lips pressed gently against mine
Your hand in mine
Our feet swaying side to side
We dance
These are my favorite images
You said you would never forget these images

Oxygen doesn't seem to like me
And I cant seem to like it
I wish for my lung to close up
I wish for a rope to wrap around my throat
I wish for knife to rip my heart
I wish to say goodbye to this life
life
Its so painful
I cannot bare
I cannot think
All I can do is hurt myself
While in process of gluing the pieces of my broken heart

At one point in my life
I was a grenade
Waiting for the perfect moment
To destroy everything that I loved

At this point in my life
I am a sun
Waiting to shine bright
To make the darkness disappear

*Everything is finally falling into place.

I have been bitten
Bitten by love
Not just any love
Skinny love
Love that is fragile
Love that is easily broken
Love that does not last
Love that leaves pain
Why couldn't it of been thick love?
Love that isn't fragile
Love that does not break easily
Love that is everlasting
Love that doesn't leave, but stays and gives joy

Silence creeps in the mist of the night
Blood dripples from my cut wrists
A chill is felt upon my feet
The cold wet ground freezes me
Lost and forgotten for the night to keep
Gone and dead I haunt the streets

Now
In this moment
I am
Infinite

Before
Not too long ago
I was small
Just a small crow
With wings
Non-sprouted wings

I remember waking up
Waking up to a memory
Or a dream
I'm not for sure which
But in the memory
Or dream
I flew

I was not small
Not just a small crow
Not with wings
Not with non-sprouted wings

In the memory
Or dream
I was an eagle
And I flew
I flew out of that old oak
And soared over mountain tops
And through clouds
To a better tomorrow

Then I realized that I did
I did wake up to a memory
Not to a dream
It was real

Then i realized that
Now
In this moment
I am
Infinite

You refuse
To not tell me
To not fight

You continue
To tell me
To fight

To fight
A life
To fight for
my life
Yet
I simply
Don't want to

You expect me
To soar into
This war
With wings
Of an eagle

But to soar like a eagle, you have to have bigger wings

You refuse
To not tell me
To not fight

You continue
To tell me
To fight

To fight
A life
To fight for
my life
Yet
I simply
Don't want to

You expect me
To ride into
This war
Like lightening

*But if you ride like lightning, you'll crash like thunder

I thought if I hurt myself
Then there'd be no room for people to hurt me

I know now that I was very wrong

I know it's wrong
I know you don't like it
But I just can't help myself
This taste
It's so tinder to me
It's lingers oh so perfectly trough my lips
Just let me drink
Drink every ounce of alcohol I can get my hands on
You don't understand
It helps oh so wonderful
When finished with a bottle
There's nothing
No pain
No heartache
No loneliness
Just numbness
Sweet sweet numbness

My voice yearns to speak

Only when it's incapable of doing so

I have completely destroyed the human being within me
I cannot be fixed
For I am now nothing but a monster

It is so hard being with you
When knowing you are a man of the army
I fear that one day you will leave
One day you will leave and never return

We've known each other for such a short time
So I cannot say I love you
But i can promise you one thing
I can promise that if you ever leave

I will always be here... *waiting for you

Don't forget
That
I love you

Don't forget
That
im the one
Who's been there for you

Don't forget
That
I'm the one
Who let you take my virginity

Don't forget
That
I want to spend
The rest of my life
With you

If you
Forgot
These things
It would be
necessary
To say that
I would explode
Into a million pieces
And those pieces
Would turn to
Ash

I feel so alive
The ground beneath my feet,
the air surrounding me,
and the sky above me.

I relax calmly throughout my days
with the warmth of a mans arms around me
He keeps me company

I like the feeling of the sun shining on me
its warmth is soothing
but it does not compare to the warmth given when he kisses me

**** those kiss
so tinder
so innocent
so wrong, but right all at the same time

He makes me feel alive
Before he appeared into my life
I was broke down in a puddle of heartbreaks and scars
I was as weak and unstable as veneer

But now I feel so alive
The ground beneath my feet,
the air surrounding me,
and the sky above me.

I will crumble
I will fall
and I will not stand again
But I will see
I will hope
and I will fly to a better infinity

Talking to me
Not even noticing
That I've been crying

I'd like to be easily defined
Instead of streaming through people's minds
I'd hate to be thought of all the time
Instead I'd like to be forgotten
But not completely
At least to where I have friends
But not so many to where I'm surrounded
and given the attention from everyone
Large crowds scare me
I'm sure I'll stumble over my words
Or at least say something stupid
Then my face will turn all red
And my hands will get all sweaty
I'd prefer to have a couple of friends
One love
And a book

I wish I was beautiful
Not because I want attention from boys
Not because I want spread my legs open to every man I see

I want to be beautiful
So then I can be confident about myself
So then I don't have to worry about being cheated on
So then someone will love me

Pain makes me want to shoot myself to end it

Life is so ruff
So many mistakes
So many rain drops on my cheeks
I make mistakes
So do you
It's not even that serious
So don't be mad

I don't need you
I only allow you in
If I want you in
Don't tell me I need you
I'm fine with being alone

But I'll still shed a year
If you decide to disappear

I'm sorry if your mad
If your angry
Or disappointed
But it's not even that serious

I say I don't care
But now
In the moment
I'd like three things
A blunt
A blade
And some alcohol

I remember the bits of gold painted in your eyes
Just like I remember the way you'd look at me as if I was the most beautiful girl in the world

I remember the roughness of your gently hands
Just like I remember the feeling of your arms around me

I remember the way you would kiss me
Just like I remember the tingly feeling of your lips against mine

I remember the love that we once shared
Just like I remember this feeling of not belonging to you anymore

I remember the way you spoke I love you
Just like I remember the way you spoke goodbye

*I will never forget you my one true love.

I'm so used to being wounded

I don't think I'd be okay with being completely happy

My broken heart is a river
That drowned the earth with my lonesome self

He's the only thing that makes me want to live.

If tomorrow is like today there will be no tomorrow

A wise man once told me
If you live for nothing
You will die for anything

I don't feel the need to eat anymore.
*So I'm not going too...

This town
These old graveled roads
My heart is painted here
It's painted across this old home town of mine

Yet
I can't help but wonder
Or ask myself
why?
how?

So many terrible memories
Of a shameful childhood has been planted here
Why do I love this place?
How could I love a place filled with a childhood of heartbreak, blood stains, and tears?

There is two types of people
Those who show beauty
And those who hide it

Those who show beauty have nothing else to show
And those who hide it have something else within that they want people to see

I for one show my beauty
Because I know no one will take time to see the real me

Life is nothing but time
Everyone knows that
So why waste time out of your worthless life to see beyond someone's beauty?

I am an addict
And I wish
It was to something
Simple
Like drugs
Or alcohol
But
Unfortunately
It is to my
Sadness
And that
Has no
Cure

She bite her lip
Looked him up and down hungrily
"How long since you've had a woman?"

His eyes opened
He looked at her
Her question replayed in his mind
"Too long..."

Her heart gave a hard beat against her chest

Right answer.

Her gaze turned to his uncovered body
Her fingers ran down the hard length of his "friend"
She leaned forward
He gasped as she licked the head of his ****
She ran her tongue around the crown
And tasted him

Heat pooled at the apex of her thighs
The thought of him inside her
Taking her
Being with her
She wanted that

It was torture
Torture to wait like that
But she would
She wanted to know
To know him all over

She smiled
As he moaned at the feeling of her mouth around his ****
And ****** him
Moving back and forth
Her eyes closed in concentration

Time passed
Her hunger grew
As did his
With one movement she was thrown
Thrown on the bed
Shock covered her face
She looked at him noticing that gaze of hunger

She wanted to explode
Explode into a thousand tiny pieces
In his arms
And under the blissful ministrations of his tongue
And so she did
As soon as he laid upon her
She did

Their body's pressed together
Love flaring in the air
Lust flaring in the air
Finally letting emotions go

When you can't stand any longer... *kneel

I've seen too many bad things. I want too change.

I wish things lasted forever
It ***** when I'm finally happy and then it ends..