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I'm so used to being wounded

I don't think I'd be okay with being completely happy
It's okay if you hurt me

It's okay if I hurt myself

It's the only way I can feel something...
I feel so alone...


            Like I drowned in emptiness
If tomorrow is like today there will be no tomorrow
I am damaged and unhappy
But I care about you a lot
And truth be told you get distant when I'm unhappy
I can't promise I'll be fixed
But I promise I'll never show my faults
I'll never cry or grieve over my wounded soul
I'll pretend to be happy
I'll pretend to be whole so I can keep you in my life
Even though I hurt ten times worse when I pretend
I'll still do it because the warmth of you being mine means a lot more to me than expressing my true emotions
When I'm sad I can't speak
So I write because it gives me hope
I'm not okay... But it's okay

Because when I put that blunt to my lips I'm okay

And when I put that blade to my wrist I'm okay
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