Loneliness
The primary emotion
I’m feeling these days

Enveloped in beauty,
Love,
Gratitude
Revered

And yet…
Those
Unmet needs,
They
Fester.

Emptiness swells
Filling
The void between us

Disconnectedness
Persists

You and I cannot be friends
And yet,
Here we go again.
Staying up until two
Breathing into the phone.

Tiptoeing around a full blown affair

Enchanted by the soft, hazy glow of the night sky. The tree frog’s chorus.

The tug of Loneliness on our hearts
Choosing
Adventure over dying on the vine.

Lying and gazing,
Laughter and lazing,
Slippery fingers and broken pieces
Delicious tension.

You stay in your bed, your life
And I lie in mine.

You and I cannot be friends.

What’s your damage?
She asked of me
Tilting her head to the side
And Squinting
inquisitively
I picked at my chipping nail polish
And stared down at my boots.
Hugging my knees into my chest,
I Held onto myself tightly
The fire in my belly
sizzled up my welling tears
And flipped my sadness into rage
As I Flew around the room
Like a trapped bird
Hurling obscenities
And upturning chairs
Just For Sitting there, looking stupid. Empty.

Look at me
LOOK at me
Look AT me
Look at ME

I’m avoiding the root
Digging around the problem.
It’s deep
Pulling sprouts of new issues
As they crop up
Putting on a pretty face
In sadness

My adult self knows
Just how threatening
The depths of these feelings can be

Dangerous, really.

Emotional entanglement,
Unhealthy attachment.
Addiction to love.

Rationalizations rule
Most times.

But My inner teen is lovesick and lonely