It feels weird,
I try to collect happiness,
In minutes and keep a checklist,
So I do things that bring me joy.
I don’t feel myself,
When that checklist’s empty,
Am I turning more,
Into a human or robot,
When will things be fine,
When would things go back,
Into how they were.

I didn't even know,
That I could laugh this much,
Smile end to end,
Talk like crazy,
Until I talk to them.
They bring ME out,
Whom I love.
Hours seem like minutes,
And I yearn to meet them.
A family of friends,
That I have,
That I love,
Forever.
Thanks.
A lot.

I feel and forget,
And I forget to feel.
I think to let go,
And i let go but overthink.
In the midst of these all,
I forget myself.

My heart pains,
When the fruits rot,
My dear oranges that i love,
Lose their color,
Become so bland,
They look dead,
I feel sorry,
I could devour them,
When they were happy,
And now they're gone,
I just have to bid bye,
Forever and ever,
Their smell that I love,
Fades away,
The perishable scent,
I don't like it.
I only wish that I had eaten,
When their life gave me a chance.
I should've eaten.
They are delicate,
I shouldn't do this again.

Is life just losing parts of yourself,
And then living to find them again?
Getting lost in the journey,
Hoping to find the past YOU,
And when you get it,
You'll lose the real YOU,
And by the time you become present,
You yearn for the past YOU.
But when will you be happy,
With the YOU that you are now?
The YOU that you hated once,
Is the YOU that you love now,
But will you ever love YOU?
The one in the present YOU.

I wondered,
How could the great Artists and Writers,
Give in to depression.
Had they not feel their art within,
Or had their art not heal them in?
If only had they blend with the strokes,
Fused themselves with the Prose.
Would they have been here?
Why would they disappear?
I got my answer for it all,
When this poem’s end called.

My shoes don't fit,
But I put them on.
The laces get undone,
On their own.
Is it's way of telling,
They don't belong here,
Or is it's way of telling me,
To stop fitting in the wrong shoes.

Life is like a hourglass,
Never even,
Always clicking out,
Never stable.
I want to get to it's top,
But the curves make me fall,
Down and beneath it all.
Wanna become like it's kind,
Narrow neck always pined.
But never attained in the hands,
While the thoughts turn into sands,
Is life all about running errands?

I get sleep,
A real one.
But I’m scared to accept it,
Cause I don’t know if I can.
If I deserve it,
While all I do is,
Dilly dallying,
While nothing’s happening.
When I have everything to be happening.

I plan to sleep early today
Not sure if I'll be okay.
Haunted by the things I ought to do,
Eyes need rest with the things I do.
But I have miles to go before I sleep,
Lots of commitments that I have to keep.
To myself and my future self,
So we both can be at the same pace.

Just because I was happy
The other day,
Doesn't mean I have to be sad,
Today.
Can't I be happy,
Everyday?

I keep seeing,
Eleven-eleven,
Will my word turn,
To more than a seven?
I'm just stagnated,
In this still waters,.
Can't flow forward,
Nor fly towards,
But will I get what I deserve,
Dear Eleven-eleven,
Make my life even (100).

This life that I'm living,
This is not mine.
This isn't me.
Who am I slowly turning into.
A lie?
Or an adjustment?
Is this me?
The Realme?

I craved for silence,
Wanted to shut,
The whole **** world down.
Wanted to hear the perfect silence,
Where I can hear the wind.
I crave for just that,
It is what fills my battery.
It will keep me sane.
It will make me free,
From this world of wicked.

How badly do u miss,
Home.
When you fall sick,
Can't fall asleep.
Blame all mine life's choices,
Regret it all.
Count the hours,
To home,
Only to feel sad.
Again and again,
Will time be fine?
Is it life's way,
Of making me miss,
Things that I already miss,
So badly that it tears apart,
And the tears flow out.
Years go on,
But why do we go out,
Of the place that we are about.
Away from the warm embrace,
Of mother, kisses from father.
Tantrums on your brother.
Family,
It all flashes in.
And throughout.

Happiness,
Thou art I ask for.
All the time,
Hither I stayeth.
For thee  to  cometh,
Into mine arms.

Did it ever fall down,
The whole sky all of a sudden.
Did you ever feel like it did thou?
Does it feel heavy on your head too?
Or does it make your mind blank,
Or is it like a fog filled tank?

Everyday I play,
With cockroaches,
Everywhere they stay,
And make me guess.
Where they are today,
When will they come out.
How did they come yesterday,
Why would she shout.
They might think, but Hey!
Could you please not be there,
Wherever, whenever I'm here!

I miss it,
I miss it all,
I'd give anything,
And everything,
To get it all back.
Those days an year ago,
To my friends I want to go,
Hug them tight and never leave,
Talk to them for hours and sleep.
Just those days when we were together,
Worrying less about anything whatsoever.
I want it all back to the way it was,
Present made me realise the loss,
Times when we were all silly,
Recall memories randomly,
Life was only better then,
Golden old days spent,
I want them all,
Whom to call?
What to do?
God I ask.

My hand bleeds to paint,
Splitter spatter here and there, Everywhere.
Wanting the warmth of embrace,
By it's friends,
Brushes of goat hair.
Papers, paints and palette,
All what it would want to hold.
Has so many wishes,
More than "The Hand", so bold.

The moment you leave your home,
To hostel Or your dome.
It's done!
It's not the same any more.
Though you may return,
Weekly Or monthly,
But the lump in your heart,
When you realise you gotta go back.
It makes you feel like you don't belong,
In there, the place that's yours forever.
You feel like your days are numbered,
You count the days left and behave,
You take all the love and joy,
In the packages from mom,
And pocket money from dad,
Hugs from brother, kisses from each other.
Yet you yearn for that permanent feeling,
That you are home completely.
Fully, in a way that's really true.
And take that heavy heart pack it all,
Go to the place that you now temporarily belong to.
So you can come to back to your place.
When it's finally time to.

These empty beds,
And the silent rooms.
Have we got to the end?
The days really have come to an end.
The tress, the birds, and the lady bugs,
When will I meet these buds again?
Morning Yoga and Morning walks,
Are what I always waited for.
Landscape and OU's nature,
Made my whole gallery fill with her.
Walking to the college and to the hostel,
Days have gone by just like a tide.
Going to the mess hall with my friends,
Conversations in there just don't end.
Walking to Arts whenever we wanted to,
Talking for hours on the green grass and shades too.
Group studies and night outs,
Workshops and Labs,
Civil and CELT,
Instant plans and escaping seminars,
NCC and Ratnadeep,
Saraswathi and Yellamma temple,
Arts Landscape and Health center,
City wok and Tasty crunch,
Cycling and our Adda,
Jamai Osmania and MMTS
Koti and Secunderabad
Bawarchi and Sri Ramana,
210 and G4
Who could've thought it would end this fast,
Time machine is what I wish for at last.
Adieu to you
And I'll miss you.

She tried getting up from the beach,
That she's drowned in deep.
She couldn't get herself up.
Her soul got vanished into the sea.
She could move though,
But it wasn't her.
She could talk though,
But it was silence.
She was a puppet,
Had her feelings, thoughts buried in,
Her words faded within,
Her self melted into air thin.
So she went into the waters again-beach.

She's so greedy,
She wants everything to herself.
Thought the sand beneath my feet was mine,
She replied by taking it away with her waves.
The moment I got in she embraced me,
Loved it but she then pushed me back.
Before I turned she took me in,
With another wave again and again.
Tried to get hold of the sea shells in my hand,
She made them go and hide inside the sand.
I then climbed the rocks there,
She didn't even leave me there.
Made me slip and get into the beach.
Is she greedy or does she love me?
I'm not sure I don't think I know,
I only will, when I get to the beach.
Only when I get to the beach again.

I feel sad,
I don't feel good.
Why is life so bad,
Didn't think it would,
Stab right into the heart,
But it is it's art.
I just wish,
My friends get all they need,
Wish, deserve and want,
And I'd want to watch them rant,
But not be silent like an ant.

So i counted,
And i slipped for just 3 times.
The longer we practice,
The harder the task is,
We will find a way to live,
With the things that are meant to be.