I hate spending time with you.
I hate seeing your sparkling eyes.

I hate having to hear that voice that used to calm me down,
When all it does now is rile me up.

I hate seeing perfect you.
When I know all I can be is me.

Laying in my bed I weep,
Scared of a new day to come,
Revealing one's feelings; begging for a soul to keep,
I wonder where the difficulties have suddenly sprouted from.

Positive of what I feel,
Yet, afraid of the words you will say,
Love, a broken heart is hard to heal,
You have so much power to destroy me either which-way.

Never felt this way before,
Butterflies dancing amongst the thoughts of you,
Uncertainty weighs my final decision poor,
But, I can't help if by some chance, you feel what I feel too.

What if you declare yes,
Tears streaming; saying you've felt this way all along,
Oh, how have I wandered into this frustrating mess,
Holding back from our perfect love song.

What would happen if my expectations fall short,
Alienating the person who would mean the most,
My heart would feel like a distant ship leaving the port,
Empty and hollow, like a quivering ghost.

Love, I can't help but to wonder what I wonder,
I want to escape from this silly wrath,
However, until I wake from the depths of my internal slumber,
We will each walk along our own seperate path.

I was once beautiful,
Tall, tanned and un–deranged,
I had the eyes, the hair, the face,
But one day, it all changed.

At first I was unaware of what I had become
And where this unexpected change was coming from,
I first began to decrease,
The amount of food that I would eat.

It became worse and worse every single day,
I made excuses- “I already ate” I’d say,
And even when they did make me eat,
I’d puke it all out in the toilet seat.

One, two, five, ten,
I was losing weight- I didn’t tell my friends,
Paler and paler I became,
No beautiful tan- I’d never be the same.

One day they found me sprawled across the washroom floor,
They found my daily up-chuck – I couldn’t take it anymore,
They took me to a hospital where I started treatment there,
The doctors told me about my problem,
I got appropriate care.

Soon one, two, five, ten,
I was gaining weight- I told my friends,
Stronger and stronger I became,
I was gaining what I had lost- but I knew I wasn’t the same.

I don’t feel like playin’

People already confuse me enough in person
Now there’s trying to convey emotion electronically
I know there’s always static in my nerves when you touch me
And the guy sending all these texts messages is trying desperately
To make you understand

Games are for people who have something to lose
You don’t lose people
I don’t want to lose you

Game is bar talk for getting your dress off

Keep it on
Why don’t you

Let me be me
And you can be you
Let’s not pass go and not collect 200 dollars
Let’s just sit here a while

Yes that is a pawn in my pocket
But this was checkmate the moment I saw you
And my battle ship is sunk
And if you let me take you home tonight
I promise not to yell

“King Me!”

So don’t send me signals
Radio or Smoke
My receptor is off
You obviously have been missing the Morse Code
I’ve been nervously tapping onto the floor

“Just Kiss Me”
“Just Kiss Me”

Right up front
This one card stud
Always plays the joker
And will play tag if you promise to touch me back
Might get nervous and make it freeze tag
But I won’t jump ropes
And half the time I’ll catch half of the things you’re trying to secretly tell me

So if you could
Let me be me
And you be you

No games this time

Some are almost shattered.

They’re pieces,       scratching         tearing  grinding 

     wearing 
down.
You can tell something       isn't
       right.


Like a ceramic         vase         dragged      across                 gravel. 


Their moods are brief flashes 
of—           mommy's hugs

and strangers—kicking the **** 
      out  of     their bowels. 


They aren't even w  h  o  l   e,

merely p i e c e s         of ceramic and clay.

Some are smooth, held in a gentle hand.


But others are jagged reminders of being hurled into a wall.


I often wonder if it's my responsibility to mend these pieces,
or just let them be
as I've grown to admire the individuality
of these shattered personalities.

Georgia.
Three years under my feet sat
Georgia.
She wasn’t my mother,
My sister,
My aunt,
Or my cousin’s best friend’s transgender brother.

Georgia
Was 59, 425 square miles of home.
Family.
A place for unconditional love to roam.

Georgia
Was familiar,
Like the smell of my mother’s perfume,
Or my oldest family heirloom.

Georgia
Stretched as wide as she could
Until one hand met the ocean
And the other held hands with Alabama,
Their history together still slightly filled with tension.

Georgia
Bumped shoulders with South Carolina,
Each unaware of the changes that were about to take place
A fifteen year long path they could never retrace.

If loose lips sink ships

Then this buzz has unanchored the foot in my mouth

And now I really have some **** to say

Because the only time my mouth might look like it were about to launch torpedoes is

Now

Similar to blowing a bubble

Or anticipating a kiss

I aim to sink heavy metal devils with this drunken word stumble

I am done feeling lost in your sea

Waiting for your wind to take me away from unrequited

To simply sunken

Bring on your lovely devils

And apology notes

I’ll grit my teeth and bear it

I mean pretending not to care has never really been easy for me

I mean if I were an ostrich

I’d have my head in the ground right now

But thank god for beer

And best friends who owe you money

And the silence and patience it takes to decipher

The mental drunken slur of

“Stop hurting me like that”

Like Frank Sinatra said

“The best part about waking up with a hangover is

the only thing you have to look forward to

is feeling better”

I can’t wait to feel better

So bring on your jazz and work me up

And trumpet your lies

Mock love forgiveness

This headache was worth the trouble of forgetting

Sea foam

Beer foam

Either way I’m drowning with this ship

And either way I’m waking up

Missing you

And regretting everything I’ve said