Twitching hands and fleeting feet.
Her voice like honey she whispers to me.
I can only wonder if she knows how it feels.
Does she know that it stings?
A tainted adaptation and a hearing that rings.
It gets louder and louder as I push her away.
The beast grows stronger day after day.
All alone, I weep for myself.
I forgot who I am and I won't accept help.
I can only tremble in my apologetic daze.
Friends without faces speaking words that don't faze.

Crimson drops on the twin box spring,
My loved ones disgraced in the opening of veins.
I am happy to be alive, lucky to be breathing.
Why, then, do I feel unworthy of this second chance?

"Always become the one being hurt
Rather than ever hurting another"
Words I have strived to live by
The philosophy left by my mother

I've always tried to live my life
Standing up for what is right
Helping others no matter the cost
Being everyone's shining knight

What a horrible way to live

Even when I was on the verge of breaking
Even when the burden seemed too large
I always took it onto myself
And it was always free of charge

They all need to pay

But lately there is this voice
Echoing from the back of my mind
That is always fighting to take over
It wants to punish the unkind

Maybe I don't want to forgive

Tell me who is that inside me
Those thoughts can't be my own
Even when there's no one around
Somehow I am not alone

Just let me come out and play

I'm trying to keep it at bay
Am I past the point of no return?
I JUST WANT THE VOICE TO GO AWAY
But.... *Now....it's my turn

Once the depression becomes routine,
Happiness never really feels comfortable again.
It comes around
now and then,
like an old friend.
You laugh and drink
and reminisce about all the plans you had that never panned out.
All the hope you invested,
in the jobs, the relationships, the dreams and goals.
And you laugh at how foolish you once were for ever having such ideas.
But the laughter dies out
And your smile fades
And you know in the back of your mind
that soon, your happiness will be gone again,
and you can never quite forgive it for leaving.
You cant blame it,
All you ever did was hold it back.
Maybe somebody else could make better use of it.
And the depression,
Well the depression is no Stranger.