Accustumed to the taste
of kisses laced with cigarettes.
Still wondering if I'm in love yet,
but sure of [two] being my favorite
letter in the alphabet.

A kiss on each lip.
Mind stops thinking
once hands reach her hips.

Previous verse too explicit.
Lost the license to my innocence.
Missing her precious presence in
this instance and as I yearn for her to not
be so distant I'm taught to balance the
act of being patient.

Distinguished marks on necks
show others where our night led
and if this is the way we're starting
I wonder what step for us is next.

Body has become a canvas that she
uses to mark her territory, and she
reveals her desires to see me have
become unhealthy.

Unconsciously feeling guilty for making
her become addicted to each letter
I write her. Personal like a writer and
creating circuits made of love with this
pen I call a wire.

Last verse. Do the words make it better
or worse? Would you care to take the
burden of breaking this curse? Falling in
love for the second time. [two] more than
just a letter and ever since you showed
up its all been a bit better.

Like old junk stored away from sight.
We cast away never did we bid farewell as well
as we did lastnight.

Traggic lines always captured you best.
No matter the number I willl forever adore you above  
all the rest.

Blame it on them or maybe just choose me.
Of all the tales spun none match this.
For what never was, was never to be.

Old flames fires that smolder still.
Cast the stones repressed emotions.
So broken once the  man who's lost that iron will.

I remember whenever I choose to not lie.
Maybe we seek us in every other  watred down try.

Pages past so far I still have yet to erase.
The scent of regret tattred is my soul kept
like some worn photograph  still it shows your face.


For so long it was a burden but with dying breath
he was set free.
Played out by the band.
What never was.
Would never be.

Note To The Reader: Attempting to read all of these would be ridiculous but I hope that you can scroll through and hopefully see something you can connect to.....

1. I am sad or unhappy a lot

2. I am happy sometimes though and so I try to make other people laugh then to make up for the times I make them cry

3. I love sunny days with a light breeze and alternately heavy rain and thunderstorms

4. I am a sucker for all things involving sugar in all its forms

5. I am an analyzer

6. I am a worrier

7. I am messy

8. I am opposed to people who aren't themselves and people who apologize for saying the truth

9. I am a terrible typer and speller

10. Fine is a word I use for almost everything

11. I dislike spending time with most of the people I know

12. I dont think the apocalypse would be a bad thing

13. Eight is my lucky number

14. I love books as they are my escape

15. I am in love

16. I want to be an artist

17. Music is my life and the reason I'm still alive  

18. I only watch really funny movies or really sad movies

19. I love making lists

20. I love buying new notebooks and pencils

21. I'm self conscious and stubborn

22. I'm mildly lazy and very direct

23. Obsessed with DIY

25. Im a freak about germs

26. I am and have been depressed from a very young age

27. My favorite colors are blue and brown

28. I believe in magic but not true love

.
                  I'll take a step backward
Because I'm too far ahead of the game
                                  Who likes to be left behind
Watching yourself fall back in shame?

Or maybe you should take a step forward
                                   Because I'm all the way over here
And your footsteps are fading into my past
                   Better catch up, dear.

I like to ramble and I like to write in all caps whenever I'm tired
I like to sing and I like to dance but neither of those traits were really admired.
I like to compete and I like to achieve but lately I've been losing
I like to pretend and I like to cry, it's just the path that I'm choosing.

I like to love people and I like to be loved right back
I like to have security and I like that my friends keep my life on track.
I like to make decisions but I'm probably the most indecisive person ever.
I like to be busy but the way I plan some things just isn't very clever.

I like to write and I like to revise and lately that's what I've been doing
I like to study and I like to remember and yes it's a full plate that I'm chewing.
I like to eat healthy but I always end up eating way too much.
I like to have friends but sometimes I decide not to keep in touch.

I like that I'm single  but sometimes it'd be entertaining to have a lover
I like searching for nothing in particular, because there's so many things to discover.
I like to talk and I like to think but I usually end up annoying myself
I like the idea that my life could be an interesting story on somebody's book shelf.

It is
what I do
since the 50's
of my 18 years —

Mummy, do you
cry when you
walk away
and leave me
crying here (too?)

There were wars
where we fought it out,
like angry soldiers
without cause —
without loyalty...

So mummy, you should know,
I will forever
be loyal to you
even when I tell you
I am upset with you,
even when you
are digging your claws
so cluelessly
into my throat —

A fortune teller
once told you,
you told me,
that I didn't know,
sometimes,
if you loved me;
You said then,
"There's no way, right?"
like you weren't sure, and
I said, "Of course not."
I did not lie,
I know.
(even when my nightmares were of you forgetting me)

Like a person waking up from a car crash,
I know I have all my limbs,
I just don't
remember,
and I am just
scared.