I have a bad habit of getting close to people quickly
So few people bother to notice or talk to me
Perhaps I crave the feeling of being real through their validation
It's unhealthy, but you try going through life made of cellophane like a ghost- even the psychics don't see me
I have a bad habit of allowing others to become important and irreplaceable too quickly
So when they leave it feels like nothing will ever be the same
It's unhealthy, but when your only friends are the ones you create in daydreams- you learn to latch on to the real ones
Real...
I suppose nothing is real
If walking away is so easy
Then there never was a realness to it
Maybe if you were just another creation of my imagination
I wouldn't feel so bad
I wouldn't go to sleep hungry and wake up feeling full
Maybe I wouldn't have to wipe my tears and pretend they never fell
Or maybe then you'd never walk away, because in my mind is the only place anyone ever truly stays

I've had many, many goodbyes in my life
But none felt as bitter or cruel as yours
Was my job just to make you feel better for a time
Entertain you until you didn't need me anymore?
To say that you cared then to cast me away so easily
I feel like I am concurrently going through all 5 stages of grief
As if something has been ripped out from within me
Some vital ***** with an unknown function

To say goodbye
Then ask me if I'm alright?
After cutting me down my spine
You ask me if I'm alright?
You've taken my last will to fight
Goodbye never felt so shallow
Goodbye never felt so betraying

I feel as if all this bottled anxiety is eating me alive from within
There is nothing left of me but it
To all the people who've walked away without me

Thank you for teaching me that I'm not worth the time to get to know
Thank you for teaching me that when I'm open it's better to be closed
And thank you for leading me on to believe I had hope
Then crushing it in front of me like butterfly wings or the petal of a rose

Each time I think I'm at my breaking point, I catch my breath
And then I'm hit again with the feeling that I don't fit in here
That my every breath is one too many

Why do I have to exist in a world of feeling
When all that's there is misery
What did I do in my past life that was so wrong
That it forced me to lead this life of loneliness?

Now that I'm pushed to suffocation
How do I hold on to this final straw?
All the rest are gone so what's the point of holding on?

The closer people get to me the faster they seem to walk away
When I find someone I can confide in, show my vulnerability
They can't even tell and I guess that's what's wrong with me

My words are cold and lackluster
They leave you feeling confused
Questioning their motive

I try to hard to be fair and unperceivable
Because the moment I am perceived they see I'm full of flaws
No one stays around long enough to prove me wrong

A toast to the two of us
Left behind, forgotten over time
Used as pawns of pleasure and tossed aside
Maps to hidden treasures abandoned after the journey

A toast to the two of us
On this day where we are one
Where I see you
And you see me

Ariadne
A toast to you,
For no particular reason

A toast to us,
For all that we can be
Let the stars commemorate this day
So for eternity we can see it
Carved into the sky
And no one will ever forget or use you again

A toast to us,
For all that we will be
Let my love be enough for you
To quell your tears and give you joy forever
To Hades and back, my dedication to you is eternal

Motivation lies beneath the surface of my skin
Peel it back and let the deprecation sink in
But where do we begin?
From the fingertips where all my mistakes are made?
Underneath my shoulders where all my burdens are carried?
The flesh of my chest where my beating heart laments?
Or perhaps behind my face, see what lies beneath the mask?
Where do we begin, to see what lies within?