Mit astmamedicin er blevet skiftet ud med cigaretter, der får mine lunger til at hyle når jeg trækker vejret.
Mit fredagsslik bliver nu købt af en rockerbande i en skummel lejlighed.
Min sutteklud er af det fineste silke, der koster mere end en månedsløn.
Mine drømme er blevet slettet fra min hukommelse.
Min livsglæde er druknet i et hav af alkohol.
Tilbage er der kun:
Fremtidstrusler
Ensomhed
Længsel
Sult

*(f.b)

i fall in love with the way your lips form words,
how your tongue dampens your lips so that
your voice doesn’t come through dry.
i fall in love with the way your veins have
spilled across your hands, your warm blood
ebbing towards the surface, oxygenating
your numb structure. your upper lip curls,
and there is a careless trail of stubble,
indicating that you didn’t want to wake today.
your accent isn’t from here, but i find it familiar
all the same. your lullaby-like voice
speaks something funny, and i can feel
a smile tug on the corner of my lips. you could
cease my demons, hush me into a slumber.
you could graze my skin in careless movements,
skimming the surface like a stone on water.
i would welcome you into my humble embrace,
and plant precise kisses on your skin, like
seeds into soil. let them grow, let them bloom,
let us alienate our favored circumstances, and
welcome the possibility of broken bones.
scars tell the best stories,
let us see how this one ends.

I wake
from a dream of you
with blood streaming
down my face, I can smell
the metal, I can taste it,
and I'm not sure what it means,
I dreamt in scarlet, not rose -
things did not appear
better, they were truthful, if not
a little worse.

My biggest fear
remains the same, I am scared to
lose you, or to even gain you at all,
I have spent every waking minute
daydreaming
and every unconscious one
in the same, untruthful manner,
you are the ripped pages
from my journal,
you are the reason I write
with blue ink instead of black,
you are everything I love
and despise about the human race -
*you are everything.

laugh at me in my nothingness
remind me of my place
set me free from fantasy
laugh loud and freely in truth
topple this greedy ego off its plinth
let me slither in the mud
come to blessed rest at last
beneath the feet of all

thank you for your nudges;
please keep my heart open