I wonder why there are such circumstances,
In which we can't  make any distances,
I need a sword to fight those worries,
And a place to bury my unanswered queries,
I wanna spill this **** out,
But there are only people who knock me out,
I insist thou to give me power that I could be my self till the end.

Now my words go rattle,
Why "not hurting" yet "being evident" is always a battle?

Today in the midst of night,
I don't know whether I am right,
It's not a normal fright,
Sometimes get exhausted by life but sometimes feels like habituated
I don't know about this insane thoughts,
But life is tough enough so I'm gonna stop this stuff

I'm in the middle of nowhere,
Far away from where I began,
Far Away from where I have presumed to settle,
I run forth and give up,
I run backwards and give up,
I'm between nowhere,
I thought I could go along the clouds,
Somewhere must exist a place,
Where I'm supposed to reach,
But it's not just any empty road,
As much as I wish it was,
The road retains survival and delusional
Qualities at a time,
I'm so into the illusion,
I halted for a while,
Asked the clouds to wait for me,
They waited and waited,
While I took a long nap,
Until thunder-stroking awareness hit me,
Now when I take a look at the clouds,
They don't seem to wait for me,
While I slack off in the wittiness,
Clouds moved out of sight,
I was left behind,
I ran back to home,
But
I'm in the middle of nowhere,
Far away from where I began.

I have so many things I'm grateful for,
One must think thee is fortunate,
But wish I could say I love my life,
A life where,
I sure was important,
But never for once, was a priority,
Where I'm sure loved,
But never a beloved,
I hate how I'm never chosen,
I hate the way my opinion is ignored,
I hate the way I'm not considered,
I hate the way you buy my obvious lies,
I hate the way even I never choose me,
I have the way I never got to choose me,
I hate the way I loved you,
I hate the way you love me,
I hate the way I strive for your appreciation,
I hate the way I never give up,
I hate the way I never get used to,
I hate the way only our washroom walls know me,
I hate the way I get ignored,
I hate it so much to admit,
That I'm the side character of my own story,
I hate the way how I feel,
Long gone girl who dreamed to conquer the world,
Long gone girl who was carefree.
From the pit of my stomach to my burning throat,
For once I wish to be selfish and go vanish
For once I wish to to selfish and die.

I laugh at my own tragic fate,
How I'm aware many will cry,
When I die,
Yet no one values,
While I'm alive.

Made my feet through the gates,
My mighty anxiety awaits,
The doorbell seems effortless,
Yet I still choose to Knock.
The hard surface of wood,
Shoved my knuckles,
Indicating the sealed, I can never unlock.
So much to say,
I wished to let it all,
Maybe that's why when I saw you,
I could say nothing at all.

It's tragic,
How some things sustained hate,
Without any mercy, without any fault,
Fate for some is Distraught,
And not even bothered to be fought.
Like we appreciate the bright light,
Doing the doable,
And the dark got cursed,
Without any sin,
While the brightest suppressed the visible stars,
Can anything shine brighter when not in the dark?