I tried not to care,
But that's not just who I am,
I tried so hard to be unaffected,
But what do I do with my weak heart,
I don't even know if you mean them,
But your words affect me so much,
Thanks for letting me learn
How to make a face of iron,
While your heart is tearing apart,
Just Breathing is difficult now, survival is very far,
I've mastered the game of adulthood,
Your mercy again from when I was a child,
One thing I'm grateful for is,
You'll never get to see this side of mine,
My little secret profession,
I've become a very fine actor now.

I know you don't like this 9-5,
I know that every day is just colour-blind,
But that day when you'll launch your
Art Gallery,
I'll be whistling from the corner of the hall,
It's a place for artists who love silent arts,
Full of people admiring your art hanging on the walls,
I know that's not the place to do this stuff,
Yet
I'm gonna shout out loud from the corner of the hall,
Might be
Little awkward and very odd,
Shouting in the gallery will be very strange,
But all I could see would be your teary eyes, and I could already imagine your glamorous smile,
And
For sure
I'd be jumping and dancing in the corner of the hall,
I'll be ten times prouder than I am now,
Though I won't understand a single art of yours,
Trust me I'll be twice as happier even more than you'd be,
Pointing to you and saying that's my girl,
I'm gonna be much more annoying  than you think,
And before you kick me out of your art gallery,
I'll be clapping for you from the corner of the hall.

My ears are desperate,
Please tell me,
How much you love me,
I don't know, you never say,
Salvation is what I need,
I can not contrast my hunger with despair,
Save me, divulge me.

Every time I take a step forward,
Every time I wanna hold someone's offering hand,
My dear mind, why do you keep telling me that they are gonna shove it off,
I'm not getting tricked, Am I?
And As if I need someone to hold me. huh?
Maybe, my soul answers, which I can't escape.
But Why?

The thoughts of settling up,
Or hang on to something,
Always goes unsettled.

One bright day,
I heard her say,
That paved road is not your way.
Those conjuring delights just split away
The moment you realise,
That's not your way.
Though obsessions fade, Desires stay,
Which will eventually clear your way.
Intoxicated comfort is no longer hay,
Sweat, intuition and passion,
Will find my way.

It's a two-storey building,
Three houses overall,
The right one is what I call my home, separated by a thick wall.

Peace exists in my corridors,
Wide and tall,
Like an open hall,
I came out here to this beauty,
In a haze of someone's call.

Once I took a stroll here,
I'm amazed of what not,
It has it all.

Enough space, enough sunshine,
Cool breeze, slight rainfall,
The view of the sky,
half gloomy, half bright,
Dancing trees in the nature's ball
As if All beauty in a Marshal.

What a view, what a place,
As if made of heaven's grace,
How until today, I'm unaware of its trace?

Plants are breathing,
So am I,
Trees are dancing,
So am I,
The weather is cool,
And my coffee is hot,
This morning feels so nice.

To the only man,
I've ever loved so much,
My best friend,
The one who saves me from mom,
The one whom I save from mom,
My partner in crime,
The one whose anger is more of fun,
The one who always is on my side,
When I hold your hand,
I don't need to be cautious anymore,
Your hug is the most comforting place,
I'm thankful to God to have you both,
Lots of love from your little Princess,
To the only man, I've ever loved,
Happy Father's Day dad...

Happiness in the heart,
Brighter the mood,
Those types of people,
Feel the beauty of rain,

The other person,
In the same rain,
Can feel the gloominess of the clouds,
As their heart is as heavy as those dark clouds.

Is it the emotion or the rain,
Which is connected?

Maybe it's the beauty of nature,
Which never lets us feel alone,
Always soothing and promising.

I keep repeating the same mistake,
Regret it every time,
It is Opening up.

While I was counting on my reasons to live,
Dear readers,
Reading Your poems was one of the nicest reasons,
I'm still counting and thinking of mine,
I'm curious, will you too think and give some of the reasons which are fine.

It's the beauty of your mind,
That you still choose to move forward,
And didn't choose to give up,
Even if you could.

Isn't it foolish,
How we strive for a safe and secure future,
When life itself is so unsafe and uncertain,
To be followed by death,
Every day, every moment,
A dream job or an ideal job,
What would a wise man choose?
Whatever it is let's just sing a song,
Our decisions may go wrong,
But the end is not an end,
Unless it's our life which ends,
Societal ideals don't seem to be aware of death,
That's why maybe we don't value life,
You and I don't have forever to live,
Maybe that's why I want to decide how will I live,
I don't want to figure out how,
What if I die by then, I just want to live,
With the flow of life.

I define
Boredom as a fantasy,
Boring as an adjective.
I don't understand,
Why it isn't a compliment?

A boosting quote I've read today,
" I've known my limits,
  To cross them."

I know I'm not as good as you,
I know I already lack,
What's so good in pushing me back,
I'm a mess already,
Does it entertain you so much,
Moving on was already a hell,
Now your words are like banging on the bell.

Dark blue sky,
Not the swallowing dark,
Beautiful bright yet deep kinda blue,
The one I always used to paint as a kid,
Comforting silence with Chirping birds,
Stars were still there,
Shiny and sparkling,
Cool breezes, empty roads,
Alone and enjoyable,
That is I realised what "Solitude" is.

"Uttam", " excellence"
How do I reach you,
Can I ever?
I'm pretty average in everything,
So is the feeling,
But
Will someone like me ever change,
Can I ever be Uttam,
I want to taste how it feels.
How excellence feels.

Sitting on couch,
Clicking selfie with a pout ,
Tomorrow I am boarding to my,
Boarding school.
My heart aches ouch.
I know its difficult
But for a short time dude.
I'll be back soon.

I no longer believe that,
"Your first impression is your best impression".
They are almost fake and sometimes nervous.

How fast has the time passed,
Left my teens and
Entered into the defining decade,
I'm just taking my good memories and experiences further,
All the embarrassing and painful moments I left them with my teens,
This year is special,
As I figured out,
So am I.

pain Is inevitable,
Sometimes if we want things to get better,
We need to embrace the pain.

Even thunderstorms look beautiful,
When we watch from our window.

Sometimes......,
It feels good,
When a heavy load has been broken into pieces,
Shaped into vapors and are
Named tears.
It feels good,
When the load called tears,
Of various fears ,
Moves from the palace called heart,
And exists through the door called eyes.
It feels good, to be lightened
Sometimes.

Shapeshifters
Exist
In me
My thoughts
My emotions
But not in
My behaviour
Now they are
Squealing  altogether
It's so noisy and stifling
And yet I'm staying calm.
Because
Someone has to be.
Right.

Even if eyelids cover my eyes,
I can feel them wide open,
Piercing into the darkness,
Away From the Doze

At times  putting a halt,
Is better than continuing,
Something is not better than nothing.

You know there were whiles when
I chose to save you,
Though I can tell the truth,
I chose you above me,
I don't know whether you'll ever know,
But I've loved you more,
I want to stop the time and keep you forever,
Irritate you, binge with you,
A year from now
you're gonna leave me,
It'll be painful, lonely,
But I can feel you,
In all those memories,
You're gonna have a new life,
Without me,
But remember,
Everything will be changed,
Not me,
No one can ever love you like me.

Honestly,
I don't know either.

The higher my emotion graph rises,
The deeper it falls, if not
I'll be having a possibility that it's going to fall,
Peace is in being a straight line, between nowhere...
Calmer and more satisfying
But it would be a phenomenal surprise,
If our emotions were nearly as controllable,
As a remote control toy.
Rather not so simple,
yet
I'll simply assume I'm a straight line.

Nobody cares,
Wait wow,
Nobody cares!!

Back then...
I used to sleep to dream more,

Now a days,
The more I sleep,
The more I see them going farther....

Those shiny eyes, faintly smile,
Messing up hair and that soulful gaze,
Your every expression makes me amazed,
How foolish of me to try to seize this priceless  art,
With the countable pixels of this little lens,
Usually, I look at things,
But now I'm rejoicing you, Through my eyes,
Feel you through my heart,
The air around us has a fragrance of happiness.
This is your reality, not appreciation.

All I did was being nice,
But my surrounding wasn't so nice,
I keep asking myself,
What should I do?
Should I act as a mirror play like them?,
Else ,
Should I ignore the pests and be myself?

Day after day,
I struggle for recognition,
In and out of my profession,
But whenever I go through my poems,
I feel glad though I don't get many likes,
Because I have this ultimate pleasure of satisfaction.
I write it for  my production,
And I live in my world of citations

I like you in the morning,
I like you in the evening,
I like you when you're the brightest,
I like you in your darkness,
I like you in the rain,
I like you in the bloom,
I like you in the moonlight,
I like how you never end,
Because I know you'll stay.
I like it when you thunder as if you are gonna swear,
I like it when you show off all the colours you wear,
Strangely enough, my favourites are all your blues,
No matter what you show me,
I like you anyway.

How do I tell her,
That it is " the foolish her", which she is desperate to hide,
made her more beautiful, natural and has my love.
How do I tell her, that I miss her "main kya hi karoon" waala laugh,
How do I tell her that I understand the world is mean but,
You can be yourself before me,
How do I tell her without telling her?

There's nothing:oh- so very startling,
If one day we're told that
We live in illusions,
I understand worry is the most futile work,
Any human can perform,
In any sense of life,
So instead let me take a peek,
Of Your illusion, and gain some experience,
To bring out the nicest and most beautiful delicacy,
Out of my psyche fallacy.

I'm half Rosa,
Half Jake,
And a little bit of Terry here and there.

I gave you my heart,
You said you gave me yours,
Now this, which hurts the most,
Ripping me apart,
I wonder if this thing is mine or yours.

My overwhelming emotions,
Becomes tears,
Silent screams,
Laughters,
And now
  Words.....

Forced sentiments,
Faked smiles,
There are many black coal mines,
Don't cry dear,
That's not brave ones choice.
Lurk those scars,
For the false pride.
Raspy barks,
The world is dark,
Save your wings,
Don't fly,
Make your choices,
Accordingly,
Maybe that right,
Is wrong for society.
The whole teen's gone,
In this perilous cry,
Leaving these taught's behind,
I don't want my whole life to be a LIE.

You know honey,
That's not it,
Maybe You can go for bread or oats,
But have one path,
Coz You cannot survive,
With your feet on two boats,

Hey, hey don't risk it,
Do you think you'll ever make it,
By putting all your eggs in one basket.

Sweetie, life could get bitter
If you'd lie,
But do remember,
It's good, to be honest, and
dumb to be too honest.

Uh-uh,
Gimme a second,
HONEST is honest,
There's nothing like being too honest,
All I ever wished was to grow,
What are you exactly telling me to do bro!!!

Why does Day by day it's getting harder,
When it's Nothing new but a replay,
It's okay till others ignored it,
But what if you too are ignoring your feelings?

I have a heartbeat but my heart is so passionless,
My body doesn't feel right as my soul has abandoned it,
Sometimes I think Am I even living?
Now I'm wondering
What is it like to live?

I never gave myself a chance to explore stuff,
I complain instead of utilising,
It would be a greater sin.
If I think it's over,
I can still begin.