Eternal Infinite Living One,
yesterday I just couldn't write you,
I stood in front of this blank page
and nothing came,
so I decided you had to wait,
just like me,
and now the words come
like a trickling stream,
the twins Anger and Fear
meet other twins: Admiration and Love,
a deadly combination,
for admiration serves as a loyalty
and it's dark side enslavement,
and together with love
they bind one to their subject
or object, and those chains
strangle all true feelings of love,
one realizes that Love is a planet,
with the whole gamut of emotions,
like hope, which in itself is a twin brother
of despair,
once one starts hoping,
one actually is despairing about
a good outcome,
terrible paradox of human life,
so I would name Love a false knowledge,
a knowledge that presents itself
as true, because it provides security,
which always is temporary,
now, what can we know?
We know the moment,
which we can experience as an eternity,
and enjoy or lament.
Stand still and move on!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
well, I met the stranger again,
and presented my fantasy self,
which he saw as an imaginary friend,
a way I never saw him,
and what did my fantasy self say to me
this morning: loss, my boy,
is what you experience everyday,
each moment something goes,
and with it something comes,
but what that is you never know,
and the chaos of loss
confronts you with hidden
talents and possibilities,
a fountain that springs up
inside you, a water that
is alive and looks for dryness
and barren ground,
and the hard thing about it
is that you see the desert
and have to look for the water,
cool, clean water,
and look for the deepest pit as well,
yes, actually look for it,
the hardest thing of all.
Make that pitstop!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
can I thank you for my fate
and at the same time curse it?
Well, I do.
You can just go **** yourself
if you think I can't.
So sorry for that,
but it had to come out.
It's like a release of a constipation
I'm suffering lately.
Jesus, one of your friends,
once said: what comes out
is more important than
what goes in,
your kingdom within me
is being assaulted by unknown
enemies, who smoke
dried animal and human excrement,
and not a quality cigar,
well, I wish I was on this
exploratory expedition with
two camels carrying my cigars,
and not looking for your light
with a lantern.
May I pray to you again
for courage, patience and determination,
in finding the route inside me,
and bringing out whatever
cache of preciousness
is hidden there.
Jewel, shine!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
well, thanks for the emotional day
yesterday, like a race course
with lots of competitors,
I would like to grow old
as the elderly man I met some years ago,
who spoke to me on the street,
while I was walking my bike
because of a flat tire:
you definitely need a bike
in the city, don't you, he said,
unafraid of strangers,
smiling, with his walking stick,
and clad in an immaculate suit,
notwithstanding the sweltering heat.
Now, what I forgot yesterday:
a quote from a soccer manager,
success is a sleeping pill,
and a low point is a turning point,
and: my fantasy self had to defend
his belief in God to a panel
of scientific atheists,
which is what I stand to do
the rest of my life,
realizing that most of my friends
ridicule you,
so I am to look for the company
of believers.
Come many a company!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
thanks for my good and bad habits,
good are the fighting spirit and
the enjoyment of small pleasures,
liking getting a bunch of roses
from my downstairs neighbor
and the chance meeting with
a young girl yesterday I worked with,
but whom I didn't recognize at first,
well, the bad: I feel like a ******,
addicted to a cocktail of anger and anxiety,
a wall between me and all other feelings,
between me and the world,
angry at a small child that played
with a water hose,
remnants of a long period
of copying the image of a strict parent,
sadness that it happens,
and reminiscing the time
I lived with my aunt, because
my parents couldn't find a home,
and not feeling anything but timidity,
not remembering visits of my parents,
except one, of my father who was
confronted with the story I told my aunt,
that he always farted, so I thought
it was absolutely normal,
which my aunt disagreed with.
Well, a **** a day keeps the doctor away!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
the bubbling source under my feet
will produce something to write,
and, yes, there it comes:
thanks for the dream this morning,
in which I was back at the farm
and met with a total chaos
of events and people,
me cleaning up a self made mess,
lots of paper towels,
reprimanding a person who
took soft drinks from a table,
morphing from an old man in tattered clothes
into a young blond man
and who looked at me like,
who are you to decide,
finding a copper ring,
with a flat piece sticking forward,
fitting it on to my little finger,
discovering I couldn't lock my bike,
looking up and seeing the whole farm
renovated, a large roof on poles
over an open space,
waving goodbye to the young guy
I worked with on Saturdays,
emptying my pockets of animal toys,
and finally leaving, stepping around
an open pit,
well, how's that for a goodbye,
and afterward stumbling out of bed,
unsure of my footing.
All this after a terrible aching
of my intestines yesterday,
the smartest ***** of man,
the gut is the winding path
to God, and releases all that
should be released,
and takes in what should be
digested, cramping whenever
what has to go out is kept inside.
Mind is the Holy Spirit, Gut is the Father,
and the son, well, that's us,
our hearts, that surprise
with all their twists and turns.
Beware to be where you are!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
I find it hard to write you today,
why? Because there is so much to
say and this tsunami of feelings
makes me run for cover,
but I reappear from behind
the wall, and the words flow out,
like a counterpoint to crushing waves,
well, take yesterday, I met someone,
no, two people, who might influence me
greatly in the future, and already have
stimulated me that day,
and this morning I dreamed
of a young woman whom I felt
deeply about, and she said: you're
pivoting so much, at which I cried,
after visiting a play in which
firemen wet the players,
now, back to yesterday:
at the communal garden,
where they were serving pizza,
I talked to one of the initiators,
and his dream of starting a city farm
caught me by surprise,
and his question if I would be interested
in participating,
and later that night I met the
Red Hair Renate, of whom I've
been thinking many years now,
but I was paralyzed, and couldn't
act upon a dream come true,
surely I will see her again,
well, thanks for all this,
because it's like a wake up call
to courage, patience and determination
I've been praying for so long,
and my fantasy self remained silent,
for once, the real one
is on the hitting spot.
Swing that bat!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
the inner rain is coming down,
washing my soul,
the word that you are creates us
and we create you with our words,
gibberish maybe, but the closest
I can get to what you are,
look at our inner unbalance,
the organs all arraigned
asymmetrical, while on the outside
one sees an effort to symmetry,
two legs, two arms, two eyes, two feet,
two hands, nose, mouth, ***
in the middle,
so what we are to do is
balance ourselves from the outside
working inward, and the unbalance
of our inner world keeps us moving
toward a new balance,
suddenly I realized this morning
what my gut was telling me Friday:
through a misunderstanding a friend
and I missed an appointment,
though I am sure I had the time right,
and my gut responded with:
lower your expectations of this
friendship, let it bleed,
although I promised to ask
him for dinner and will honor it.
Thanks for I don't know what!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
it's been a few days that I wrote you,
plagued by insecurity
and stomache aches,
but now I'm back,
and this is what I have to say:
I'm torn between
intent and energy,
my intentions are good,
but the energy doesn't flow,
forced as I am to feel first
and then move,
and what I feel is covered
in the mist of my life,
with a few clear spots,
like working at the maintenance
of gardens and park,
which makes me dream
of my personal Eden,
from which I have been driven,
but to which I will return,
when I don't know,
and from which I will be driven again,
and to which I will return,
in a cycle of events
and inner movement,
I feel lost,
and only the Church of Saunology
keeps my standing,
while I'm lying down,
the heat helps me concentrate
on my body,
and slows down the mind,
which is overactive
and oversensitive.
Now, my emotional ballast
can be slowly minimized,
and maybe I can float
like a balloon in the future,
with a regular spurt
of gas fire,
an artificial ****.
Fartificial!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
well, apart from writing you
so little, I also forgot to show
my gratitude for all you
give and take,
that done I open the tap
of my word piping:
all is always an apple,
one either takes a bite
or lets it hang,
depending on how the guts decide,
for they are more intelligent
than the mind,
well, at least in my case,
for I can't walk in another person's
shoes, even if I wish
I could sometimes,
so I walk in my new shoes
and bite the fresh apple,
which is a visit to my mother,
whose heavy presence
resembles mine with other people,
how to combine lightness
with the heavy load,
inner feather that floats
in this heavy world,
courage, patience and determination
I pray for again and again
and again.
Let the juices trickle from my mouth!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
well, many thanks again for
the cooling rain of yesterday
and today, and for
the tears of goodbye
I felt welling up during the day,
even if they were propelled
by my daily fantasy of a
life I do not lead,
of an older actor finally
realizing his time has come
to stop making movies,
recalling all the hassles and troubles
he met in performing,
and missing just these the most,
now, this is the wonder of life,
that one ends up being grateful
for it's difficulties and less for
it's joys, that's the way you work
in us, because the hardships
give us more than the soft successes,
and in the meanwhile
the winds of the world breathe
a new chill, carrying
the next lessons and exercises,
and a new death with a newborn life.
Have a drink with a drop of my tears!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
well, I bought new shoes,
for the first time in 25 years,
again I dreamed about the farm
where I worked for so long,
this time an ex-friend and his wife
were there, trying to make contact,
but I said, not now, so maybe
I will see him again in the future,
although I don't think so,
radical departures are a fixture
of my life, for better or for worse,
books are a tremendous consolation
in this period, I discovered
a writer, roaming the second hand book stalls,
a face that fascinated me,
an alien from inner space,
rocketed from the Ukraine
and landing in Brazil,
she is Jewish and mystical,
a fringe person like me,
even though she led a famous life,
in the middle of public attention,
this fringe man finally beginning
to accept the borders of the world
where he makes his home,
crossing the lines every now and then,
entering a new land,
which he leaves again after a while,
like Abraham.
Get on your camel!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
again the words don't come easy,
forcing myself to write,
well, here they come:
thanks for the relaxed game of tennis
yesterday, and after that
the meal with a friend,
who is going away on vacation
for a month and whom I'll miss,
and now I'm vacillating between
a simple garden job
and just doing nothing,
but I'm nervous and oversensitive
to sound, so I'll do the job,
yesterday I had this imaginary
conversation between my fantasy self
and a writer who asked him
about creativity: well, he said,
to me creativity springs from
the Me and You, the constant
flow of connection between
the self and it's surroundings,
and the mysterious outcome,
a secret that reveals itself in
what one does, says and writes,
and that can't be forced,
it comes and goes whenever it wants,
and the hard labor lies in
keeping up the connection.
So, I pray for doing the work,
with patience, courage and determination,
and long for the float
on your river of inspiration.
Stream gentle stream!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
well, I feel like a spider
that has lost it's ability to
weave a web, and falls to the ground,
and, of course, again thankful
for what you are driving me
through, this tunnel with it's
unexpected twists and turns,
and realizing my dependencies,
the necessary and the superfluous,
the ones I'm born with and
should accept and the ones
I burden myself with and should cast off,
now, gratitude for that dream
this morning: what a circus!
I'm ready for sleep, when suddenly
a detective comes in with a
prisoner, whom we have to house
for a while, not saying why and how long,
me being the only one who protests,
me constantly moving
from sleeping room to sleeping room,
no rest, my older sister lies down
in the bath, I move again,
and the house keeps filling up
with people, doctors coming by,
giving pills, visitors suggest playing
roulette with the prisoner to keep him busy,
then constantly disrupt the game,
so the prisoner wants to leave,
still more guests arriving,
finally the prisoner calms down
in front of the tv, with a beautiful
mother and child behind him,
I smoke a very large cigarette,
the garden is chock full of people
sitting at tables, an old friend
arrives in a mariners costume
with a cricket bat, and at the end
everyone breaks out in song.
That prisoner is me, and everyone else
as well.
Rattle my chain!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
well, you're waiting for my words,
I hope, and to be honest I'm
waiting myself, now, their
train is entering the station,
yesterday was an angry day,
reticent, but hard working
in the communal garden,
planting potatoes, for the first
time in my life,
food for thought,
but the anger, what was it,
I felt hampered and obstructed,
not being able to recognize
the feelings underneath,
but last night they suddenly
appeared, the small child in me,
lagging behind, wailing for attention,
the fast mind and the slow emotion,
and that attention I realized
I am now giving to myself,
which feels strange and frightening,
because it demands deep reflection,
not just thinking about the world,
but about loss, about effectively
experiencing how it is to lose
a bond with people and things,
and acting upon it, ritualizing it,
questions I'm asking of myself
that I feared for so long,
because they are answered with
more questions, and it are these
questions that steer one through life,
standing at the wheel that constantly
asks to be turned.
So, another wheel is ready
to start turning, the day is ready
to unfold, the stranger is waiting,
and so are new questions,
from him and from me,
a woman is on my mind,
for the first time in a long stretch,
will she be the next mirage
or maybe a new mirror.
Same thing!

Eternal Infinite Living One,
it's been a long time since
I wrote to you, the summer
has had it's soporific effect,
and new things have come my way,
and lots of new books,
with scraps of insight,
like, to be courageous one first
has to feel fear,
and fear is located in the ear,
and timed for the night,
because then we mainly
base ourselves on that *****,
foreign sounds and sensations
need to be addressed,
lately my heart beats in my left ear,
well, in a conversation with friends
I finally spoke out over you,
proof of your existence lies in the fact
of fiction, which is a living organism,
that changes through every new ear and mouth,
so if you are fiction, you are alive,
and change everyday,
and I realize that intimacy
is my great struggle, to open it up
and lend it continuity,
and not being afraid of changes
it goes through.
Courage, patience and determination
are key words.
Unlock my doors!

The Big Man in a Small Sports Car waited before a traffic light. A policeman came over and said: Sir, you're a protected city scape. Don't heed the red light.
What kind of justice is this? I'm waiting.
You want justice? I'll fine you for not exercising your privilege.
Yeah, that's justice. Now I'm gonna eat asparagus.

The Big Man in a Small Sports Car reported at a movie set as an extra. With a few friends he had to row a sloop. In a straight line. They ended on the cutting room floor. Well, that's a straight line for you. Now I'm gonna eat asparagus.

The Big Man in a Small Sports Car took a course in horse whispering. I'm a heavy talker. How do I do this?
Look at the animal, the teacher said. It's heavy without talking. Try it yourself. Right, that's easy. Now, don't look at the animal. And move slowly. Right, that's not easy. They circled each other, coming closer.
Then the Big Man in a Small Sports Car whispered: Hey, wanna go eat asparagus?

Well, wellness, that’s what this man is talking.
After his father died he was sitting in the Finnish sauna and realized:
dry heat, silence, discipline.
Just like my dad.
Suddenly he was present, and remained that way.

Wellness, oh well, still talking this guy.
After his mother died he was sitting in the Turkish bath:
humid, close to the skin, hot breath.
Just like my mum.
And there she was, and stayed that way.

Well, well, wellness, same person talking.
Now his parents were gone and he was alone.
He slowly immersed himself in the cold bath:
shivering, enveloping, awakening.
Just like me.
So he was present and remained that way.

Later he thought: how about freezing?
Three minutes in minus 110 degrees.
Burning blizzard, freezing fire.
Even more like me.
But the blood curdled, the blood lumped.
Well or no wellness, he thought and stepped out
to face whatever temperature, dry or humid,
the world had to offer.

Too long
to walk
to bike
to lie down
too light
daylight
days on end
hanging around
around and around
but, wait, I’m
indulging
in aimless
blabber
too much ogling
what I find
is a whole
different ***
the buds
are late
particularly the
young ones
too late
for a
blooming heart
too light
in vain
I look
to see
if I don’t
see my hand
anymore
too much water
the glass is
already full
too good
in good faith
the sun
spirits itself
away
too bad

The psychic came home one day from a reading. Out of nowhere his guts started tormenting him. He said to himself, right, you go see a doctor, take pills or not, and then what? Read my guts! (The doctor won't like this.)

So he lay down and read his guts. What did he see? A deep maelstrom, whirling really fast. I must be under water to see this, he thought. He told the doctor and the doctor said, try again, maybe you can start a tropical swimming pool.

So he lay down again and read his guts. What did he see? A huge towering waterfall, like the Niagara Falls, water plunging down. I must be high up in the air to see this, he thought. He told the doctor and the doctor said, try again, you might get the ****** Falls.

So he lay down one more time and read his guts. What did he see? A wildly swollen roaring stream, thrashing down boulders, branches and baby carriages. I must be in there to see this, he thought. He told the doctor and the doctor said, okay, you're washed up, now start a diet and take some pills.

The psychic said, okay, guts don't go on diets and take pills, people do. But wait, I see a long pole with a blue and white flag standing in the stream. What's it doing there?

The Sky Butcher levitated to his Cumulus Mall. Picked up a chuck of air, seasoned it with cloud, sprinkled it with breeze. No chopping, no flattening.

In walked a customer. (Thought I cut some figure.) What's it gonna be? Looking for something to **** in. Well, got you a real soft Pigeon Breath. This one's gonna stay flapping inside you. Zoots me, I gotta fly.

In walked another customer. (Thought I knew my cuts of heat.) What's it gonna be? Looking for something to ******* away. Well, got you a prime T-Bone Twister. You'll never be found again. Pack it in, I'm packing up.

In walked yet another customer. (Thought I knew my meat & greet.) What's it gonna be? Looking for a smell that puts me unconcho. Well, got you some tender little Southpaw. Phoooo! I'm gone already.

Blasta, the Sky Butcher said to himself, I'm heavytating back to the flats. My meat's getting thin up here.

On his way home he saw a truck passing. Oxy-Gen, it said on the side. Genetically modified air, new to me. Gotta get me some second wind first thing tomorrow.

The girl with the tooth gap looked in the mirror and thought: it looks like you've been mugged.

The girl with the tooth gap sought out other people with a gap. In a bar she met a woman with a thigh gap. It looks like you're starving, Tooth Gap said. I am. For beauty, Thigh Gap said. Your own or that of others? What's the difference?

The girl with the tooth gap sought out another person with a gap. At a train station she met a traveler with a platform gap. How's the leaping today, Tooth Gap said. Waiting to fall flat om my face and enjoy it, Platform Gap said. Why would you do that? I need the hurt to feel alive.

The girl with the tooth gap sought out the next one with a gap. At the post office she met a guy with a pension gap. Making ends meet? Tooth Gap said. Yeah, my life's end and that of my budget are closing in, Pension Gap said. Which one do you fear the most? My budget's.

Tooth Gap decided: this must be my Gap Year. I'm beginning to like my mugshot.

An Animal Magnetizer went knocking at the doors of farmers and pitched:
Your animals sick, sad and surly? Let me magnetize them and they will be sane, spirited and sweet. Two healings for the price of one!
One farmer thought: Well, it so happens carnival is in town, so let’s take a shot.
The Animal Magnetizer chose one of the goats, closed his eyes, and magnetized……
Dear Goat, you’ve sore knees, you’re too fat.
The goat thought: O, yeah, how about me getting extra fodder because I’m old? And he took a bite out of the magnetizer’s pants.
The Animal Magnetizer went mad and secretly magnetized the goat sore knees for the rest of his life.
The Animal Magnetizer chose one of the chickens, closed his eyes and magnetized…..
Dear Chicken, you’re starving, look at your legs, they are so thin.
The chicken thought: O, yeah, I’m scuttling about all day looking for food and get fed twice a day, I’m just nice and slender.
And it pooped over the Animal Magnetizer’s shoes.
The Animal Magnetizer went mad and secretly magnetized the chicken starvation for the rest of his life.
Well, the farmer said, I’m subwhelmed, you got one more chance.
The Animal Magnetizer chose one of the donkey’s, closed his eyes and magnetized…. (Let’s put a positive note)
Dear Donkey, you’ll have a beautiful child.
The donkey thought: O, yeah, look at my belly, a child can see that. And it peed all over the Animal Magnetizer’s shirt.
The Animal Magnetizer went mad and secretly magnetized the donkey with a child that bore the horns of a goat and the feathers of a chicken.
Ah, well, buster, no cure no pay, the farmer said, I guess my stock relies on it’s own animal magnetism.

The man who fell in love everyday sat in the sauna next to a dark girl.
He dropped to his knees, kissed her hand and said:
You're beautiful, let me say this, I'm in love with you.
The dark girl said:
Funny man.
The man who fell in love everyday, fell out of love that instant.
He walked over to the infrared sauna and sat next to a redhead.
Again he dropped to his knees and said:
You're beautiful, let me say this, I'm in love with you.
The redhead said:
My hair is a traffic light. That's where you stop.
The man who fell in love everyday, fell out of love that instant.
He walked over to the swimming pool and let himself in.
An older woman swam towards him.
He couldn't drop to his knees, so he floated up to her and said:
You're beautiful, let me say this, I'm in love with you.
The older woman said:
As long as we're in the water, let's marry.
The man who fell in love everyday, fell in love no more.

The guy who reinvented the wheel time and again went to see his doctor. What's up? the doctor said. I climbed up on my roof to get a tennis ball. I jumped down and let go of the ball. We hit the concrete at the same time. That's gravity. Could've told you that before, he doctor said. Break anything? Yeah, a leg and an arm, but now they will never forget.

The guy who reinvented the wheel time and again went to see his accountant. What's up? the accountant said. I gave a mil to a pyramid schemer. He promised me a 100% profit on a farm in the sky. Well, he was right about the 100%, but the profit was his not mine. Could've told you that before, the accountant said. Save anything? No, the lawyer cost me another 100%, but now my wallet will never forget.

The guy who reinvented the wheel time and again went to see his shrink. What's up? the shrink said. I gave away my heart to the first woman I met on the street. She said: let me borrow yours, I'll bring it back when I'm done. Promise, promise, promise. But you'll have to find me. Could've told you that before, the shrink said. Feel anything? Yeah, real bad, but now my heart will never forget.

A guy. Loves walking. Walks over to the municipal pool. Enters the water. And keeps walking.
Look, there’s that pool walker again.
Pool walker does his first 25 meters.
Swat! Arm and leg hit him from behind.
Scram, I’m training for the Olympics.
****, you do this one more time. I’ll be limping.
Pool walker does another 50.
Smack! His toe hits a spectre near the bottom.
Scoot! You broke my goggles, diver bubbled.
****! You just popped my bubble and now I’m treading glass.
Pool walker is into his last 100.
Smash! His knee hits a soft object.
Srlsrlsrlsrlr! Goes drowning kid.
Shush! Now I’m walking on my hands to get you.
Pool Master approaches Pool walker: Hey, Maestro, try swimming.
That’s what I do on Main street.

What? The earth is flat? Then I’m a balloon.
No, you want proof?
You bet your flat feet.
I gotta warn you, parties will try to bamboozle you.
Try me.
Take a long walk with a glass of water in you hand. If it spills, the earth is round.
After.
Well, I  took a long walk, got thirsty and started seeing things, so drank a bit, and the water spilled over.
See, parties put substances in the water.
Try me again.
Take a plane and if you end up topsy-turvy, it’s round.
After.
Well, we ended topsy-turvy alright, cause the pilot started doing somersaults.
See, parties manipulated your perception.
Try me again.
Go find the largest telescope there is, look through it and if you don’t see a sign saying THE END OF THE WORLD, it’s round.
After.
Well, I saw a sign, but it said NO TRESPASSING.
Yeah, parties pretend to have secret military bases.
Heard talk about that, where they keep guys from other planets and their real flat flying things.

This guy Al ‘Bag’ Daddy drives up in his limousine. It’s the home of his friend who is poor as a rat.
Al ‘Bag’ Daddy parks his car against the garbage can and smashes it.
His friend on the porch looks up and says, Hey Al, new car?
No, says Al, this is my old one. Want it?
His friend says, you buy me a new garbage can.
Al ‘Bag’ Daddy curses and drives off, screaming, you’re gonna stay trash yourself.

Al ‘Bag’ Daddy comes around to visit his friend again, who is poor as dirt.
He drives up in a new sports car, dressed in a fur coat.
He screeches to a halt, but manages to tear up a rug hanging over the porch balcony.
Hey Al, got a new coat? No, this used to be my dad’s. Want it?
So I can use it as a rug?
Al ‘Bag’ Daddy curses and races off, screaming, my shoes wouldn’t want you as a doormat.

Al ‘Bag’ Daddy comes around to his friend again who is poor as a match stick.
He drives up in a Hummer with a green Stetson on his head. The vehicle screeches to a halt, knocking down a just planted young apple tree.
Hey Al, got a new hat?
No, it used to be my gardeners’. Want it?
Send along your gardener with a new apple tree.
Al ‘Bag’ Daddy curses and races off, screaming, tree? You sit there all day, just like one.
Hey Al, got a point.

The friend popped up at Al’s mansion on an antique bike. He sideswiped a marble statue of a cherub.
Al ‘Bag’ Daddy shouted, you’re gonna pay for the smallest scratch.
Friend said, want the bike? I got two, one too much.
Yeah, Al said, seeing a profit, gimme the bike. I love anything on wheels.
But how are you gonna get back home?
Is that limousine still on offer?

A man was writing a prayer and reading it back aloud. It was a call for help and mercy to God about his health.
He closed the notebook and went to a troubled sleep.
The following day he opened the notebook to write a new prayer and the prayer began speaking back.
I must have a word with you, Prayer said. You’re calling for help and mercy, and you expect this message to come across just like that. You don’t see me as a living being?
The man was shocked. I thought God would answer, but now my own writing is doing that.
Talk to me like I’m your neighbor, not a gofer.
The man took this to heart and wrote, Dear Prayer, I’m sick, the doctor says it’s gonna take a while. When will I recover?
Next night the man opened his notebook and straightaway Prayer started talking.
Who do you think I am? A psychic? I’m a stranger you just met on the street. Would you pray like that to him?
No, the man said, let me try again.
Dear Prayer, I’m in a bad state, I fear for my life. I pray I will regain my health.
Following night the man opened his notebook again and Prayer jumped at it.
I’m someone you would like to meet. Would you pray like that to such a person?
Who would I like to meet? How do I know?
Dear Prayer, it looks like I’m just praying to myself, so I pray to myself that I will
regain my vigor and vitality.
Next night once the notebook was open, Prayer said, now it looks like you found the person you always wanted to meet.
At that very moment the man’s Guardian Angel descended on Prayer and said, Prayer, get back in your book, you talk too much.

Now, he ended up on an island. Was he alone? You bet. An island in a city, an ocean, a desert.
Every once in a while someone came by or he met this someone and they formed a twosome.
On a Monday some flotsam carried in Man Monday.
He showed him how to contemplate the moon, sit still, wait till the sunlight shone around and in him. And with the sun Man Monday disappeared.
On a Tuesday who walked up but Man Tuesday.
This guy was service personified. He saw to his every need and wakened an urge in him to serve himself. So he kicked him out, with many thanks.
On a Wednesday in came lively Man Wednesday. What entertainment, philosophical conversation. Like, see that sand castle? That’s a mirage. True, but wait till it rains, it’ll be hell-to-shelter. At that point Man Wednesday’s course had run it’s course.
On a Thursday in parachuted Man Thursday. Now, this how you make a fire. For roasting and warming. Good, let’s cook because it’s warm enough here. After the meal Man Thursday rocketed off back to the skies.
On a Friday in crusoed Man Friday. From an earlier story he knew this one was as loving as he was silent. Smile, big brown eyes, was all he communicated. And his silence was warm and cold, sweat and shiver. Like a fever. One day he canoed off to his own island.
On a Saturday slowly Man Saturday emerged. Together they grovelled and toiled. Things fell apart, they learned patience and resilience. Man Saturday was slow to leave, there was no hurrying him.
On a Sunday in marched Man Sunday. The party began, music and dance. All in worship of the Copper Cudgel, the Sacred Scorcher, the Friendly Furnace. And left him with the debris.
And who came by the next day?
Man Tomorrow. All open space, 360 degrees view, that’s what he had to offer.
Anything can happen
Anyone can come by
Anywhere you find without looking
Anyhow something shows
Anyway….. well, he goes without saying.

The Turkish Bath Therapist had an appointment with a patient. He entered the steam bath of Spa Scanty. Inside an old man waited for his fifteen minutes of blame. How was your day, the Turkish Bath Therapist said. My friend's an ache in the head. Don't let him in there. You got an other heated room to receive him in? No sweat.

The Turkish Bath Therapist had an appointment with a second patient. He entered the steam bath of Spa Spacy. Inside a young woman waited for her fifteen minutes of shame. How was your day, the Turkish Bath Therapist said. My friend's all over me. Dip yourself in warm oil and slither out. What kind of oil? Try one that smells the best. No sweat.

The Turkish Bath Therapist had an appointment with a last patient. He entered the steam bath of Spa Sprawly. Inside a young girl waited for her fifteen minutes of frame. How was your day, the Turkish Bath Therapist said. My friend's bullying me to death. Ask her if she's enjoying it. I go all red in the face. So you're asking for the bull to charge. Let her charge and step aside. The finishing ****** will come from elsewhere. No sweat.

This Hot Turkey Method sure is a sweat, the Turkish Bath Therapist thought. Got to hurry now, my FreezeFysician is waiting

We have a Baroness and a diplomat. They were a team in a global organization. And they had an affair. And both were addicted to something. She to ****** and he to saving the world.
She promised him to quit and he promised her to quit.
He promised to quit if she promised to submit to a clinic after he quit his world saving addiction.
She promised to enter the clinic if he promised to leave the world’s stage.
They sat in a hotel room and she says, for the time being you can use you diplomatic status and pouches to get me the brown sugar. He said, the world saver he was, that could be great cover, for the time being.
Diplomaniak, I love you. Baroness, you sweet Brownie, I love you.
So for the time being as it was nothing changed.
The diplo haggled and joked with the dealers. He had learned the trade from his parents who both had been junkies. So he bought the best of the best. The Baroness took it for granted she got the best of the best.
Pouches came and went and the diplo covered it all up with a crazy story. About them containing samples of biochemicals used in warfare. And used by him to expose rogue states. All to prevent exposing his rogue mate.
Dealers asked him, you on the sugar?
No, it’s for my sugar. I’m on a drop of whiskey and a puff of tobacco.
But then time being as it was something changed.
The diplo finally found a suitable successor.  One who wasn’t trying to save the world. The world decided it would do it’s saving it self.
So in came a peace loving and peaceful negotiator. A man who extended existing wars and supported starting new ones.
The Baroness booked herself into the clinic. The diplo visited her every day. This time without the sugar but with a bottle of crème de cacao for her and a drop of whiskey for him. The nurse expressly had forbidden any stimulants in the clinic, so the diplo used a different pouch. He bought a large chocolate box. Together they retreated to a secluded spot in the garden and enjoyed sips of their respective browns.
One day the Baroness said, I’ve got to tell you something.  I’ve fallen in love.
With whom?
With the nurse.
Well, that’s better than being married to the needle, said the diplo.
You don’t care?
I care a lot but only for you.
Her new lover barred him from visiting her.
But the diplo found a way around this. He mimicked the voices of her family members and got her to visit him in their usual hotel rooms. There they sipped their browns in secret.
But the time being as it was one of them died. And when that happened their last words to each other were that they stopped making promises to each other.

Two boys played soccer together alongside a river. The ball went up high in the air and dropped in the water with a splash. One of the boys went after it.
He stepped into the river and felt the water pull and push him this way and that.
Oh, he said to the reeds standing near the river bank, you just stand there easily.
Me, I just have to work hard to keep from falling. How do you do this?
Well, the reeds said, the way you do it, you're just like the ball you're trying to get.
We just stand and move with the flow of the water.
Now that's nice, the boy said, how can I stand and move at once?
Well, said the reeds, to move you first have to stand firm and relaxed.
Then when you move, you do this from a firm position, and move to the next firm and relaxed position.
The boy bent his knees slightly and stepped forward slowly. And stood there a moment with bent knees, gently moving with the water.
O, reeds, he said, how wonderful to be like you.
Yes, said the reeds, but we won't get your ball for you.

The Impersonal Trainer decided to open shop. I need a sign. On my door? I don't have a door. Next to my tent? I don't have a tent. On my forehead? Shoowee, I have a forehead, but I want it blank. Drop it, let's start up this bizniz with some buzzness.

Hey, there's a client. Watt-chew want? Oh, trainer, I'm in my head all day. Talkin' about day, you in there all night as well? Oh yeah, at night it takes over totally. You hit the nail. Let your night be your day. You mean, sleepwalk? You just graduated. Dream on, here's your money.

Hey, there's the next client. Watch-hue want? Oh trainer, I lost control over my body. One limb shakes, other stiffens? Oh yeah, one has to stop, the other has to go. Now, I got a thousand-and-one exercises. Do I do them all? Eh, that's gonna cost you. Pick one at random. You gotta force me to a choice. Force! You're halfway there. Do number 134. How many times? 134. Where's the machine? The machine, that's you. Go buy yourself a new whip, here's your money.

Hey, there's another client. Wash-shoe want? Oh trainer, I got trouble with feeling and emotion. Ah, destination arrived. Fee-ling is about being the one who pays, e-motion is about the one who virtually moves. Gibberish, explain. Shush, that's hard. Walk a mile in your wallet. Oh yeah, I'm paying everyday. Now, walk a mile inside yourself. Like breathing? Looky-here, you're getting somewhere.
Well, I'm moving on, here's your bitcoins.

The Impersonal Trainer sat down to do his numbers. One: I'm helping people that help themselves. Two: I'm helping myself who doesn't know what help he needs. Three: I'm helping the Help-Thing that doesn't need help. Ah, stop, this getting personal.

The Gifter had a job to do. He wasn't sure what it was, but he took it in hand anyway. At the start of the meeting a gift materialized in his hand. The recipient wondered: what does he want from me? Oh, just see it as a gesture, the Gifter said. Like a friendly smile.

The Gifter had another job to do. Again he wasn't sure what it was, but …. what the heck. After the first lesson he went up to the teacher and a gift materialized in his hand. The recipient was amazed: I didn't expect this.  What do I do with this choice of nuts? Oh, just see it as a first helping, the Gifter said. Make some tea and put them in a bowl.

The Gifter had a job to do. Again. He wasn't sure what it was, but... he enjoyed the feeling. At the house of a lazy friend in need a gift materialized in his hand. The friend was embarrassed: What's this? I must say I appreciate it, but it feels like you're wrapping me in paper. Oh, just see it as a kick starter, the Gifter said. All you have to do is unwrap.

The Gifter met up with his brother, the Grifter. Long time no speak, the Gifter said. Yeah, how's the job going? the Grifter said. Can't complain. Seeing myself as a fraud works like a devil. I took your advice, the Grifter said. Seeing myself as a friend pays off divinely.

A gift materialized in their hands. Why do I deserve this, the Gifter said. I deserve this and more, the Grifter said.

Two women, over a latte, a salad and a glass of water.
Clearly plotting something.
Let’s listen.
Why don’t we put together an alphabetical almanac of *******.
There are so many around, in such a variety.
Yeah, take Boregasm.
Both the drill and the ennui.
Seems like the end of a long string.
And Boargasm.
Happy as pigs in ***** sheets.
Lots of grunting and wallowing.
Coregasm.
Oh goodness, that sounds so spiritual.
Takes years of tantra.
And then, Choregasm.
Yes! Doing the dishes, vacuuming. Ecstasy
as a household appliance.
And Doorgasm.
Could be more of a male thing.
But being impaled sounds not bad for a woman either.
Foregasm.
Oh, just thinking about the real thing, a virtual
*******.
*******.
Coming up for air out of
a ******* morass of mud and blood.
Whoregasm.
Talking about fake news.
Males love it, women, well, they do it.
Loregasm.
Oh, that’s mythical. Like an affair
between a hero and a heroine of old.
Moregasm.
Yes! Don’t you dare stop.
Moorgasm.
Ah, 1001 nights, lots of women
sharing, a man losing his appetite.
How about this: Oargasm.
What? Penetrated by an oar. Feel it already, meanwhile
floating on the water, in the company
of long strong rowers. Nirvana?
Oregasm.
Now we’re mining deep, suffocating and
claustrophobic, but hot and dirtblack.
Poorgasm.
Down and out, it’s still there,
a short cut to heaven.
Poregasm.
Out of millions of little holes
all sighs and cries.
Pourgasm.
Emptying a bottle of champagne
over one’s own head.
Roargasm.
Definitely the lion of them all,
male power can excite the woman.
Snoregasm.
Yeah, well, some guys start snoring before, some after.
Women snore too, can be ecstasy in a dream.
Soregasm.
Hope the pain turns out sweet.
Soargasm.
Rocket out of pocket, up and away,
hard landing though.
Toregasm.
Oh no, supreme torture,
looking for one’s limbs afterward.
Yoregasm.
A gasp from the past.
Clattering armor, ripping robes.
No shortage in noise.
Yourgasm.
That’s the one you’re looking for,
no copying or faking, silent or loud,
never to forget.

Think we got them all.
All those gasms give me the spasms.
Another latte?

The What It Is Kid jumped into his sideswiped sedan. It felt good. (Hey, his girlfriend said, we could do better.) He planned to make a blast, like a rubber bonfire. First swerve, some screeching smell. Next curve, some pebble sparks. Last turn, a nice gully. Sure thing, his skin did fireworks. The better it gets, the sooner it stops, his girlfriend said.

The What It Is Kid slipped into the Bar None. It felt great. (Hey, his girlfriend said, we could do greater.) He planned to take a bath, like a diver in a sea of drink. First shot, ah, ground swell. Next shot, hot spring bubbles. Last shot, wow, what a spray. Sure thing, his socks took a wash in his puke. The better it gets, the sooner it stops, his girlfriend said.

The What It Is Kid stumbled into the Junk Food Joint. It felt super. (Hey, his girlfriend said, we could do hyper.) He planned a burial, like a Fair-O in a Pyramid of Fat. First bite, stabilizing staple. Next bite, reaching for the sky. Last bite, a highway to the stars. Sure thing, his heart did a bypass. The better it gets, the sooner it stops, his girlfriend said.

It's what it is, she said to the ambulance guy.

There's a living one, he was, he is and always will be. Waiting for the Messiah. Expecting another living one to be sent his way. Sure he would come. Cry it out loud for crying out loud. This one could not exist without a public. So he went looking for a seeing, hearing, feeling individual.

A man in a balloon just landed on earth. Ah, this one's ready, the Mess-Sire thought. Did you know the Messiah is coming? Well, all I know is that I just came down. What did you see up there? A small guy waving up at me. Oh yes, I'm small. Messiah, dunno. Could you help fold the balloon?

A snow covered girl stopped next to him at the traffic light. This one is ready to be warmed. Did you know the Messiah is coming? Phew, all I know is I got a bunch of love letters from heaven. And what do they say? the Mess-Sigher said. Hey, love letters are about love? Wanna read one?

A boy dropped out of a tree. Broke his leg. He cried out loud. Yes, the Mess-**** thought. This one's ready to be healed. Did you know the Messiah is coming? ****, mister, you mean the siren? I need some guys with a stretcher. They won't help. No? Who's gonna carry me to hospital? Eh yeah, that they do. Won't heal your soul though. Want my soul, you can have my broken leg.

The Mess-Sire, the Mess-Sigher and the Mess-**** needed a break. They entered a coffee bar. This is a mess, nobody's listening. At that very moment the Messiah knocked at their door. Nobody home. He slipped into the guise of a postman and wrote a note. Dear believers, you're never home when I call. What do I do? Land in a balloon, pop up at at traffic light, fall out of a tree. You make so much noise you can't hear.

Mister Two Point Two Miller considered himself always in need of free cash. He put his money where his heart was. Could he call himself wealthy? Well, maybe medium prosperous, medium-lite rich or ultra-lite tycoonish. So, the world was his treasure island.

Mister Two Point Two Miller washed ashore and looked around. Wait, there's another guy on his turf. What you looking for, the other guy said. How about anything over two point two mil? Ah, why that number? Random. Don't you dig that way. No, when I stumble over it, I'll find. Yeah, you'll stumble alright.

Mister Two Point Two Miller woke up on the beach and … eh, no looking around. He had a heartache. Two guys were digging a hole and dropped something in it. They sneaked away. Let's see what's in there. Hashtag. It's x point x mil! The two guys visited him in his beach hut. When they left, he was unconscious for two point two hours.

Mister Two Point Two Miller couldn't sleep. His head was a jungle, his mouth a desert. But his heart was his money. He picked up a torch and went for a prowl. An unlucky moon rolled around heaven all night. Jeez, you scare me, a voice said. I'm not looking for you. Well, you sure found me, the avatar said. Are you real? Hear who's asking. Uh, yeah, you got a point. Thnx for the point, but I gotta go. Seems you haven't found the two point two yet. How do you know I'm looking? Tss, we virtual things have a line on each other.

Right, I'm sticking with you. Mister you're welcome. We two got the point, let's go find the other two.

The young old man who dreamed of a bus load in the bank and a bed under the bridge attended a party of a wealthy friend.
He said: Why the celebration?
You got a bus load in the bank, and yet your bed costs you more than all the food you'll eat.
Why not live in a different hotel every night?
The wealthy friend said:
Scuse my Rush-un, I may be a ruin inside,
but at least I now am a high rise on the outside.
But now you have two things to lose, your money and your mansion.
So your one plus one makes two minuses.
Worry never comes singular. My high rise is royal to me.
The young old man who dreamed of a bus load in the bank and a bed under the bridge volunteered to serve the homeless a Christmas dinner.
He put a platter of chicken in front of a bearded blue eye.
He asked the blue eyed beard:
What would you do if you had a bus load in the bank?
The blue bearded eyes said:
Have a party till I farted it all away.
What's the celebration?
Scuse my Germ-un, I may be a ruin on the outside,
but at least I'm a high rise on the inside.
You're talking to His ****-All Lowness, my ruin is royal to me.
The young old man who dreamed of a bus load in the bank and a bed under the bridge got hungry and dropped in at a sandwich shop.
He ordered a club sandwich and sat down.
The shop owner brought him his sandwich and
the young old man asked him:
What would you do with a bus load in the bank?
The same as I'm doing now.
Plus give myself and others an extra.
Where's the celebration?
Scuse my Nether-Lance, I may be a one story guy inside,
but at least I'm a one story guy on the outside as well.
And that story is royal to me.
Eat your sandwich, otherwise it'll have you.

The White Hole thought to itself: I need another hole to fit in with. It scanned parks, meadows and forests. And stumbled into a Rabbit Hole. Hey, watcha doin', the rabbit said. I'm not trying to blow you away, rabbit. I'm just testing if I fit in with your hole. You're too glaring, the Rabbit Hole screamed. Get your laser light out of my cozy darkness. And out whooshed the White Hole.

The White Hole continued it's search for a hole to fit in with. It scanned war zones, battlefields and cyber bunkers. And nearly fell into a Man Hole. Hey, watcha doin', the man said. I'm not trying to blow you away. I'm just testing if I fit in with your hole. It's getting much too hot in here, the Hole said. Snap off that nuclear plant of yours, I wanna be cold and uncomforto. And out whooshed The White Hole.

The White Hole continued it's search for a hole to fit in with. It scanned the universe, both outside and inside. And bumped into a Black Hole. Hey Whitey, watcha doin', the Black Hole said. Sorry, Blacky, I'm not trying to blow you away. I'm just testing if I fit in with your hole. Well, Whitey, I can tell you this: you gotta wait till I'm done.
How long you think you gonna take?  Ages, you call 'em light years. You can try my *******. Blacky, any hole of yours, light seconds I’ll be there.

It's been a long hard search, but you know what? Humpty Dumpty turns out to have a brother. In the end he just popped up between the lives of so many other unknown kin.

This guy, Humpty Dumpster, seems to try what nobody, king's horses nor king's men, is really successful at. He goes around picking up pieces.

Humpty Dumpster walks and stalks the big city. Woman comes out her door. Dumps an old table lamp without a shade. Humpty Dumpster picks it up. What you gonna do with that? Go pick up the missing piece. And yo! Next corner, a milky glass shade. How's that for a short circuit, he thinks. Now wait for a real one.

Humpty Dumpster walks and stalks a provincial town. Hey, look. Sweet little frying pan lid. Heavy glass, easy handle. Humpty Dumpster picks it up. So, young knight, where's your sword, an old guy says. Eh, different game. See if it fits my frying pan. And yo! It does. Only just. Oh well, my floor anxiously waits for the shattering.

Humpty Dumpster walks and stalks his own street. Pinpointed eye. Like this thing asks to be seen. Deep wooden frame, ceramic head with fish on top, broken off tail sits with it. Humpty Dumpster picks it up. Mister, it's a throwaway, it's *****, you get sick, a young girl says. Maybe I'll be sick, but this thing is gonna be better. Glue the tail back on, surround it with animal figurines. Bad art is easy as a good ****.

Humpty Dumpty calls his brother. What's I'm hearing? You picking up pieces? Try picking up mine. Yeah, can do. But you gonna look older and not gonna be the old you. Who cares, Egghead.

The Imperfectionist looked out of a window. Actually, he looked at the window. Within it's frame a woman appeared. Do I fit, she said. Fit in as you like, he said. But I would prefer you cut some corners. You want corners? How about top left? Bottom right, whatever. Hey, you just want me out of the picture.
That would be picture perfect.

The Imperfectionist sat down and turned on his tv. He concentrated on the sideground images. A war correspondent appeared on the screen. Around him, desert debris, military wrecks, abandoned bodies. Interactive question: what's that rock behind you? Interactive answer: I refer you to the company geologist.  Q: could you do you commentary on the left side of the screen? A: and step onto a roadside bomb? Now that's a perfect scenario.

The Imperfectionist was tired of framed images. He stepped outside and moved like a camera. Straight ahead a young girl approached, eyes glued to her phone. Left of her, a scooter moved onto the sidewalk. Right of her, two women loudly discussed a daughter's dental problems. Above her, a drone whirred. Below her, the pavement showed it's beautiful cracks. Skewz me, I'm looking for... he said. She looked up the address. It's right here, sir. He slapped his forehead. Oh no, that's a perfect disappointment.

There's the list. How many items? None. So? We have a nothing to do list. Who's listing? Enter Mister Lister. He's listing to be missed.

Even Mister Lister needs to go shopping every once in awhile. He bumps into a neighbor. Let me see your list. Ah, bleeding to feed. What's on yours, Lister? I got a nobody, a nowhere, a nothing and no time. Where's that gonna get you? Somebody, somewhere, something, some time. Well, you'll steal to meal. Lister laughed. I'll go meet to eat.

Even Mister Lister needs to work for a living every once in awhile. He's got a business. Things should go out, things should come in. Money should go out, money should go in. Customers should go out, customers should come in. Lister, what you telling to sell? You got nothing on your list, you're gonna find it. Ah, well, that's easy, every buy a goodbye. Chuckle. So I'm the fellow to hello, Lister said.

Even Mister Lister needs to reflect on life every once in awhile. He's got a teacher. Some call him a Goo-Roo. What does this guy teach? Longing to belong, aiming to name, striving to arrive. Lister chants: seeking to freak, spinning to grin, fooling to cool. The Goo-Roo is a sly guy. Great list, Lister. Eh, master, it's no list. I just misunderstood. Now, that's the door to enlightenment, my friend. Oh, master, all that light's only gonna show a whole lotta dots. Ah, connecting the dots. You're close, Lister.  Eh, master, what do we get? Just a straight line.

Shucks, Mister Lister thought,  I'm just summing to hum.

Looking for an entertainer? Birthday, moving to a new home, marriage?
Phone the Fartist. Produces funny noises and nauseous funks.
It’s your birthday. You ask for a song and dance. That’s what you get and more.
Kids imitate the gross concert and adults hop around keeping their noses to the candles. And the birthday guy? He loses gas and wins a secret pleasure.
You’re moving to a new home. You ask for an afterburner blessing. You get that and more. The new carpet gets a long shush, the walls a staccato salvo, and exclamations of wonder are accompanied by exhumations of thunder. In the end the family lullabies itself to sleep with a gassy purr.
You’re marrying. You ask for cannons and rockets. You get that and more. The wedding kiss goes with a **** and a swish, the wedding cake comes with a choking chopper and the dance is a medley of winds and bombs. At night the couple both turn their gasses on each other.
Afterwards the Fartist receives many a compliment and complaint about the stink he raised. We love your **** aria’s and **** bolero’s, but can’t you deodorize?
The Fartist doesn’t reply but thinks to himself: Where did I hear about odorless gas before? Do they want gas chamber music?
O well, what has been lies ahead of us and what’s coming creeps up from behind.

A guy. Loves walking. Walks over to the municipal pool. Enters the water. And keeps walking.
Look, there’s that pool walker again.
Pool Walker does his first 25 meters.
Swat! Arm and leg hit him from behind.
Scram, I’m training for the Olympics.
****, you do this one more time. I’ll be limping.
Pool Walker does another 50.
Smack! His toe hits a spectre near the bottom.
Scoot! You broke my goggles, diver bubbled.
****! You just popped my bubble and now I’m treading glass.
Pool Walker is into his last 100.
Smash! His knee hits a soft object.
Srlsrlsrlsrlr! Goes drowning kid.
Shush! Now I’m walking on my hands to get you.
Pool Master approaches Pool Walker: Hey, Maestro, try swimming.
That’s what I do on Main street.

This guy had a sleeping problem. A friend told him about a man who pitched himself as the Sleep Savant. He had no followers, just told one and all he slept 3 hours during the day and 12 during the night.
The bad sleeper phoned him and said, can we talk?
Only over the phone, the Savant said.
Why so?
You see me, you won’t sleep at all.
So it’s your voice? You talk yourself to slumber?
Well, that must be it, because I never believed in my own advice.
Right, I heard it and I’ll see if it works.
A week later the bad sleeper phoned again.
You got anything else besides your voice? I still don’t sleep like a babe.
You’re asking for a technique? Go see a mechanic.
How about using your own voice, like I use mine.
You heard me twice now.
Ah, like in a movie?
A week later the bad sleeper phoned again.
Hello, I’m still in the woods, don’t know what to do.
Silence at the other end.
Are you there? Should I talk to you in your own voice?
Silence.
Well, here I go
He made a show of the Savant’s voice.
Silence.
But, no, a soft snoring sound came thru the speaker.
A week later the bad sleeper phoned again.
Well, it worked for you didn’t it? But not for me.
What next?
Right, you want some bad advice. Just pretend you’re watching a movie of a guy sleeping, me, anybody, yourself.
A movie? After a movie I hardly sleep at all.
Then visualize yourself walking up to my place, following a hundred signs.
But then I’ll see you?
Yeah, you got me there, phone me in a week.
A week later the bad sleeper phoned.
Hey Savant, I slept like a newborn set of Siamese twins and you were the other one.
Right, get a surgeon, we need to be separated, cause I’m not sleeping anymore.

The Chooseday's Child was on her way to a new friend and found a book lying in the street. She dropped in at the new friend's place and admired the friend's bookcase.
Secretly she slipped in the book she had found. The friend didn't notice and the Chooseday's Child anticipated it would take her a year to do so.

The Chooseday's Child found a metal contraption on a hiking route. She spent the night at a sweet little hotel, with good food and a warm bath. She admired the hotel owner's collection of antique farm tools and secretly slipped in the contraption she had found. The hotel owner didn't notice and the Chooseday's Child anticipated it would take him half a year to do so.

The Chooseday's Child found a small painting in a frame next to a garbage bin. She was on her way to a museum she liked for it's eccentric collection. Secretly she slipped in the painting between the other works of art. The guard didn't notice and the Chooseday's Child anticipated it would take him less than a week to do so.

The Chooseday's Child never checked her anticipations and secretly knew she had slipped in a piece of herself into a new home.

The story has a kangaroo's tail.

The Chooseday's Child found a toy doll with moveable limbs at a Give Away Shop. She was on her way to her favorite Qi Gong teacher. She admired his collection of toy dolls in different Qi Gong postures, a collection she herself had initiated. Secretly she slipped in the toy doll she had found. The teacher didn't notice and the Chooseday's Child anticipated it would take him seconds to do so.

The Chooseday's Child had her anticipation checked and secretly knew she had slipped in a piece of herself into this new tent.

At five in the morning
in peeps
bona fide sunshine
thru my blanket
& my eye,
lowly it loafs
on the street,
out spaces
the early
innocence,
gangster gal,
anything you say
from now on
can be used
against you.

Long before … eh, what... there was a man called Theodore Therefore. He was known to sit in an easy chair. Not much more was known about him. Stop, there was something. He was contented.

Theodore Therefore sat in his easy chair. Two young lovers came to visit. He smiled at the girl. The girl chattered happily to one of her aunts. He smiled at the boy. The boy smiled back and thought: now, there's a guy seems like cause and effect in one.

Theodore Therefore sat in his easy chair. His younger brother came to visit. Theodore Therefore smiled. His brother smiled, but said: you don't seem to move. Cause and effect doesn't seem to effect you.


Theodore Therefore sat in his easy chair. His young looking elderly mother came to visit. He smiled. She put up a blank face. Looks like you don't know you're there, she said. But I know. Cause I feel the effect on me.

Theodore Therefore smiled. He drew no conclusions. Very effectively.