Long before … eh, what... there was a man called Theodore Therefore. He was known to sit in an easy chair. Not much more was known about him. Stop, there was something. He was contented.

Theodore Therefore sat in his easy chair. Two young lovers came to visit. He smiled at the girl. The girl chattered happily to one of her aunts. He smiled at the boy. The boy smiled back and thought: now, there's a guy seems like cause and effect in one.

Theodore Therefore sat in his easy chair. His younger brother came to visit. Theodore Therefore smiled. His brother smiled, but said: you don't seem to move. Cause and effect doesn't seem to effect you.


Theodore Therefore sat in his easy chair. His young looking elderly mother came to visit. He smiled. She put up a blank face. Looks like you don't know you're there, she said. But I know. Cause I feel the effect on me.

Theodore Therefore smiled. He drew no conclusions. Very effectively.

Man sits watching an outside film set. The crew takes a break. Man walks over and asks, Who’s the Foley Artist?
Me, says Foley, I invented it.
I’m too silent, man says, can you fit me with some sound?
Sure, what do you want?
Leather soles on wooden floor.
Done.
Man walks over to his girlfriend’s place.
Hey, quit creaking around the house.
Wrong sound, man thinks.
Goes back to Foley.
Can you fit me with another sound? My girlfriend’s freaking out.
Sure, what?
Get me rustling paper.
Done.
Man goes to his office.
Hey, what you shuffling your files for at the lunch break?
You wiping your *** with em too?
Man goes back to Foley.
Colleagues think I’m wasting toilet paper.
Can you fix me another sound?
Well, what will it be?
Try a starting car.
Done.
Man goes to his tennis club. Wins every game.
Hey, you’re like a truck driving over us.
Man goes back to Foley.
Hey, Foley, great sound.
Can’t hear you, cut the engine.

Two boys loved to go fishing. One was tall and proud, but small and timid on the inside. The other was small and soft, but tall and strong on the inside.
One day they went fishing in the river. The tall and proud one wore an old and shabby coat, but had a lot of money on him, his savings for a scooter. The small and timid one wore a flashy new coat, but his wallet was practically empty, having spent all his money on the flashy new coat.
With their rods and bait they looked for a good spot to fish. The tall and proud one proposed a bet: who would catch the biggest fish. Alright, said the small and timid one, what does the winner take? As much money as I have in my wallet, said the tall and proud one, thinking so I can buy the best scooter there is. Well, the small and timid one thought, if I lose it’ll cost me my new coat and I’ll be cold for the whole winter. But if I win, I can buy my little brother a coat. We have a bet, he said.
They chose a quiet spot at the river bend and sat waiting till the fish would bite.
Soon afterwards the tall and proud one caught a small fish, but threw it back in the water. A little later he caught another small one and again threw it back. The big fish are yellow, he thought.
The small and timid one felt a pull on his rod, drew it up and noticed that the bait was gone. He tried again, but same thing: the bait was gone. The fish are smart today, he thought.
In the meantime it was getting dark. Two other boys came walking along the river. They had a mind to rob someone. Look, one of them said, two guys fishing. Let’s see if they caught something. I could use a nice meal. Well, the other one said, I hope they have some money, so we can treat ourselves to a restaurant.
Stealthily they swooped down on the fishers. With knives out they demanded them to hand over what they got.
We haven’t caught anything, the boys said.
You don’t have any money? the robbers said.
I’m saving for a new scooter, the tall and proud one said, and started to cry.
Give it to me, the restaurant eater said.
Shaking all over the tall and proud one handed it to him.
What about you? the home eater said to the small and timid one.
I’ve only got my new coat, he said.
Give it to me, maybe I can swap it for a better fisher than you.
Calmly he handed over his new coat.
I’ll be cold now.
You really cold?
Alright, take back your coat, now give me your rods and can of fat worms.
And off they went.
The two boys walked back home. One without the money to buy a new scooter, the other with his new coat still on, the first small and timid, the second strong and proud.
One robber spent all the money on a multi course meal at a fancy restaurant, and ended up feeding the fish with his puke.
The other robber went fishing with the rod and bait but clumsily kicked over the can and the worms ended up in the river.
And the winner of the fishing match? That were the fish. First they took all the bait of the two boys, then they feasted on the remains of a copious meal and for dessert they got a whole can of worms.

A  guy wakes up one morning and decides he wants to be immortal.
He’s healthy, well to do, reasonably handsome and extremely unsatisfied.
Thru Insta, Tiktok, Facebook and a chain smoking friend he learns of a firm offering immortality.
Welcome, says the Immortician, you’re at the right place.
My TomTom told me so too.
How does this work and how much does it cost?
There are three stages, each increasing in intensity and in costs.
First stage amounts to 1499 USD.
This is rekindling your lusts.
How do I do that?
Unfortunately, our method leaves you entirely to your own devices.
See you in three weeks.

After three weeks.
Welcome, says the Immortician, what did you experience?
Well, I pursued many a lust, but that resulted in osteoarthritis of the hip.
Excellent. Now for the second stage.
Your imagination needs to run away with you.
How?
Unfortunately our method leaves it entirely up to your own fantasy.
And the costs?
3000 USD.
Can I pay by installment?
Naturally, the term is infinite.
By the way, the guy says, you yourself look younger than three weeks ago.
Your efforts are our gain.
See you in three weeks.

After three weeks.
Welcome, says the Immortician, how was the run?
Well, my imagination is in overdrive, no sensible thought in my head, but I did develop a migraine.
Excellent. Now for the last stage. You need to become a child again.
I won’t ask how.
No, the child in you will show you the way.
And the costs are?
6000 USD.
Drop dead, the guy says, you’ve become even younger.
So you’re saying you’re showing me what’s in store for me?
This is reversed obsolescence.
See you in three weeks.

After three weeks.
Welcome, says the Immortician, how did it play out?
Well, I whimpered, snacked and shrieked to my heart’s delight,
but after climbing a tree I ended up in IC with a heart attack.
Excellent, you’re dead right on track.
However, we strongly recommend a follow-up.
Costing?
10000 USD.
Hey, you’re getting younger again.
I suggest you pay me!
And the guy grabs the Immortician by the throat and strangles her.
After which he drops dead with a humongous *******.

Detective: We suspect a love making that got out of hand.

What’s the wonder of soccer?
The musicality, the marimba, the flow
back and forth, side to side.
Sometimes the ball directing the pace,
sometimes the player keeps the ball
from taking over.
But the ball doesn’t take no
for an answer.
It wants to challenge
the speed and direction of the players.
Saying, I’m faster than you,
more precise, that is if we
work together,
if you accept I’m faster,
because I’m the one who
needs to end up somewhere,
not you.
And when I do,
we’re both happy.

Door opens. It’s a party.  Two girlfriends, dressed to the nines,  leave their partners and retreat to the powder room.
You think my guy sees what I’m wearing?
Think mine does?
Let’s swap dresses and see what happens.
In an urban minute they walk over to the bar.
Male, good looking but going on sixty: Didn’t I see you two on some catwalk?
What, the dress or me?
Good question, not sure I would recognize you without.
Girls walk on to the dance floor.
Woman, tattoo-faced, XTC-eyed: Didn’t I see you two in the tattoo parlor?
Sure, dress feels like it’s on us to stay.
Don’t worry, my eyes are lasers.
Go peel a banana.
Girls find their boys.
Boys: What you said is right, music’s too loud to say anything.
Then don’t say it.
Did I say something wrong?
Girls decide to swap back.
In an urban minute they’re back and bump into their boys.
Sweeties, something the matter?
What would that be?
Looks like you went and changed.

A man was walking through a forest and a fierce wind was blowing.
He had trouble keeping his balance.
Suddenly he meets a spider hanging in a bush.
The spider gently swayed with the wind.
He asked the spider: Tell me, how do you keep your balance in this fierce wind?
The spider said: It's my web. I'm connected with everything that surrounds me.
The man: But I don't have a web.
Yes you do, said the spider.
You have a mind that can connect you with your surroundings. Try it.
The man imagined his own web and stood perfectly balanced.
Thank you, spider, he said.
Don't thank me, said the spider.
You did it yourself.

A boy thought: I love to sing, but I can't sing.
He tried to sing a song, but when he did everybody held their hands over their ears.
So he went for a walk and sang for himself.
Just then he passed a meadow and a cow responded with a long MOOO.
Well, he said, tell me cow, how did you learn to mooo so beautifully.
The cow said, I learned it from my mother, who always went MOOO when she was full
of milk, so I knew I could drink.
So, said the boy, if I sing MOOO, everybody will think I'm a singing cow and clap their hands instead of holding them over their ears.
Now, said the cow, I'll tell you what. I once was just grazing away and saw a man sitting cross legged and eyes closed on the edge of the meadow behind the fence.
And he sang OOOM.
That's MOOO the other way round, said the boy.
Yes, said the cow, you're human, so why sing like a cow. Just sit down, close your eyes and turn the
MOOO around and you have a beautiful sound.

Well, have you heard, have you seen?
What?
Soccer player keeps the ball airborne running.
Yeah? Your imagination, that’s what’s running.
No, my imagination stops when I see him doing it.
So? What’s he do?
Oh, you need telling twice?
Flips the ball past the defender, catches it on the other foot,
flips it past the next player.
Yeah, sure, gimme some detail on how.
Well, upper body at between 10 and 11 degrees, ball trajectory the same.
When did he find that out?
Exercising thru the bushes in the park, avoiding prickly branches,
trunks sticking out, logs diagonal.
Policeman asks what’s he doing. Go back to school.
Yes, he says, and doesn’t.
Wanted to put in 6 hours a day of ball control.
No school?
No, he was his own teacher and pupil.
Only cooked for the family.
Mother alcoholic, sisters rebellious.
Oh, so a monomaniac?
A solomaniac, is better.
But why this air solo?
Well put. You want to intercept the ball,
you have to commit a foul.
You didn’t succeed, all sorts of space
opened up for him and his team.
You ever played against him?
Eh, I’m just an observer, a sports fan, a bit of a scout.
He still doing it?
No, he’s retired. Walks up and down
stairs with the ball in the air,
jumps fences and catches the ball on the other side.
Sounds like the circus?
Guess you could say that.
Appears on TV explaining the technique.
But so far nobody has been able to copy.
What does he say?
Slightly bent knees, catch the ball close
to the ground, center of gravity low.
It’s like a dance.
And the ball is his partner?
Well said.
He takes the ball for a stroll
in the park. Kids love it.
Walking the ball?
Hey, you got a way with words.
Sounds like a lonely guy.
No, he’s got me.
How’s that?
Well, you could say I’m keeping
him in the air.
Ah, still a fantasy.
When he lands on my feet
he’s real as a double
and true as a story.

Maybe a dust bowl
burning in nature’s airfryer,
it’s not the end,
something’s crawling out of a hole.
Maybe a fire within and without,
a howling wind about,
there’s always another thing
crawling out of a hole.
Maybe a flood, ages of rain
with a tornado as a premium.
Down deep it crouches
crawling out of a hole.
Maybe a landslide
taking a town or two,
it looks big that’s all,
it’s the tiny thing that’s
crawling out of a hole.
Maybe a mental eclipse,
a black out, a white out,
a skyscraper crashing down,
there’s a wisp of a ghost
crawling out of a hole.

A farmers family had a small son called Mark. The boy was forever asking questions. So they called him Question Mark.
Walking around in the yard he said: What kind of animal is that?
His mother said: That’s a chicken.
And the boy said: What does a chicken do?
The mother said: She scurries around for food and then lays an egg.
And we scurry around after her eggs for our food.
And the boy said: Why does a chicken lay eggs?
And the mother said: The chicken hopes it’s egg will produce a chick.
And the boy said: What is a chick?
And the mother said: A chick is a young chicken, just like you are my young son.
And the boy said: But who came first, the chicken or the egg?
The mother was speechless.
One day a man and his little daughter came to buy some eggs.
The boy bombarded the two with questions.
He said: Who are you?
The man said: I’m married to my wife and together we have this little daughter.
And the boy said: What do you do?
The man said: I provide food for my wife and daughter.
And the boy said: Why?
The man said: If my daughter doesn’t eat she will never be big and strong.
And the boy said: Why do you have a daughter?
The man said: We enjoy living with her and hope she will support us when we are old.
And the boy said: Is your daughter the same as a little chicken?
The man said: I guess you could say so.
And the boy said: Did she crawl out of an egg too?
The man said: No, she came out of her mother’s womb.
And the boy said: So is a womb just like an egg?
The man said: No, people don’t crawl out of an egg. But in the beginning they do look a bit like a little egg.
And the boy said: But who came first, that little egg or the mother?
And then the little girl said: Everything starts small and ends up big.
And the boy said: But what about the Giant and Tom Thumb? That Giant was big from the beginning. And Tom Thumb stayed small.
The girl said: Yeah, I know that fairy tale. Tom Thumb beats the Giant, doesn’t he?
But then, Marky Mark, who decides who is big and who is small?

Well, one keeps company, doesn't one? Two, three, four, and counting. And any number can sit in an establishment and order drinks. And this company is served, isn't it? And service it will be.

Any number sits in a boulevard bar and orders three beer and a liquor. The barista brings the three beer and an empty liquor glass. Don't see the liquor, any number says. Oh yeah, she says, I forgot to say, take a deep look first. I see a tiny bubble of air, any number says. Well, that got me light in the head, she says. Won't do for me, any number says. Get to your senses and fill it up. Certainly, sir.

Any number sits in a lakeside lounge. And orders two soft drinks, one liquor and a beer. She brings the soft drinks, the liquor and an empty beer glass. Don't see the beer, any number says. Oh yeah, she says, I forgot to say, take a quick look first. I see a glass balloon, ready to take off, any number says. Hullaballoon, she says, that's why they call me a floater. Won't do for me, any number says. Get your feet on the ground and fill it up. Certainly, sir.

Any number sits in a seaside beer garden and orders one soft drink, one beer and two liquors. She brings the beer, the liquors and an empty soft drink glass. Don't see the soft drink, any number says. Oh yeah, I forgot to say, take a long look first. I see my own sweat dripping down in the glass. That's my cloud breaking, she says. Won't do for me, any number says, take your cue from the lightning and fill it  up. Certainly, sir.

It's nice to be nice, the barista thought. But King Customer is not ready for the service of an Empty Empress.

The Situationer left the situation room and went looking for a situation. Even though he knew the situation would arrive anyway. He bumped into a group of people forming a circle. He looked inside the circle and saw a girl lying on the ground. What's the situation? he said. Waiting for the ambulance, giving her water to drink, empathizing, being frightened, taking a picture, robbing her purse, commenting on her legs. That's not the situation, the Situationer said. Everybody's moving, minus one. You mean: minus yourself? No, I do both, because I show and tell.

The Situationer went looking for another situation. He came upon a twosome. Both persons were talking and gesturing. What's the situation? he said. She broke my watch, he failed an appointment, she looked away sweetly, he killed me with his eyes, she broke the camel's back, he pricked the needle in the haystack, she sleeps without snoring, he eats without smacking. That's not the situation, the Situationer said. Everybody's moving and standing still at the same time. Plus yourself? No, I can't do both at the same time. I either show or I tell.

The Situationer went looking for one more situation. A young person stood fiddling with a stick in the pool: Look, a polar bear in a big pool! What's the situation? the Situationer said. I wanna swim, but I'm afraid, I'm not a polar bear but a big blond guy, that makes me even more afraid, okay, I'm a bipolar bear. I cuddle and ****, chill, let's freeze together, you're furry right. That's not the situation, the Situationer said. Everybody's big and small at the same time. Hey, check who's sweating. I can be both at the same time. And with that situation the Situationer goes back to the situation room.

The Conspiracy Therapist opened his door. Two men led a blindfolded girl into the room. Sit down. Point is, just imagine two men led you into the room. They did. No, just imagine they did. Right, I will. Now, what do you feel? It's no crime anymore. Exactly. And what's left? Two men led me blindfolded into the room. And that's helplessly frightening.

The Conspiracy Therapist opened his door. Two male nurses wheeled a poisoned old man into the room. Sit up. Point is, just imagine two male nurses wheeled you into the room. They did. No, just imagine they did. Right, I will. Now, what do you feel? It's no mime anymore. Exactly. And what's left? Two male nurses wheeled me into the room. And that's helplessly sickening.

The Conspiracy Therapist opened his door. Two adolescents dragged a bruised boy into the room. Sit back. Point is, just imagine two adolescents dragged you into the room. They did. No, just imagine they did. Right, I will. Now, what do you feel?
It's no grime anymore. Exactly. And what's left? Two adolescents dragged me into the room. And that's helplessly hurting.

The Conspiracy Therapist closed his waiting room. He detected a tiny camera and a tapping device. Somebody's got to be behind this, he thought.

The White Hole thought to itself: I need another hole to fit in with. It scanned parks, meadows and forests. And stumbled into a Rabbit Hole. Hey, watcha doin', the rabbit said. I'm not trying to blow you away, rabbit. I'm just testing if I fit in with your hole. You're too glaring, the Rabbit Hole screamed. Get your laser light out of my cozy darkness. And out whooshed the White Hole.

The White Hole continued it's search for a hole to fit in with. It scanned war zones, battlefields and cyber bunkers. And nearly fell into a Man Hole. Hey, watcha doin', the man said. I'm not trying to blow you away. I'm just testing if I fit in with your hole. It's getting much too hot in here, the Hole said. Snap off that nuclear plant of yours, I wanna be cold and uncomforto. And out whooshed The White Hole.

The White Hole continued it's search for a hole to fit in with. It scanned the universe, both outside and inside. And bumped into a Black Hole. Hey Whitey, watcha doin', the Black Hole said. Sorry, Blacky, I'm not trying to blow you away. I'm just testing if I fit in with your hole. Well, Whitey, I can tell you this: you gotta wait till I'm done.
How long you think you gonna take?  Ages, you call 'em light years. You can try my *******. Blacky, any hole of yours, light seconds I’ll be there.

The Turkish Bath Therapist had an appointment with a patient. He entered the steam bath of Spa Scanty. Inside an old man waited for his fifteen minutes of blame. How was your day, the Turkish Bath Therapist said. My friend's an ache in the head. Don't let him in there. You got an other heated room to receive him in? No sweat.

The Turkish Bath Therapist had an appointment with a second patient. He entered the steam bath of Spa Spacy. Inside a young woman waited for her fifteen minutes of shame. How was your day, the Turkish Bath Therapist said. My friend's all over me. Dip yourself in warm oil and slither out. What kind of oil? Try one that smells the best. No sweat.

The Turkish Bath Therapist had an appointment with a last patient. He entered the steam bath of Spa Sprawly. Inside a young girl waited for her fifteen minutes of frame. How was your day, the Turkish Bath Therapist said. My friend's bullying me to death. Ask her if she's enjoying it. I go all red in the face. So you're asking for the bull to charge. Let her charge and step aside. The finishing ****** will come from elsewhere. No sweat.

This Hot Turkey Method sure is a sweat, the Turkish Bath Therapist thought. Got to hurry now, my FreezeFysician is waiting

Delicately unsure of myself, he thought. But he wrote: What goes slow, should go fast, but it doesn't. Had a tooth pulled, it was a fast one. And then it released pain, instead of releasing of it. And that was a slow one.

Delicately unsure of myself, he thought. But he wrote: Something other is pulled together with the tooth. Like what? Fear of pain. The pain I tried to push far from me, I pulled closer by having the tooth pulled.

Delicately unsure of myself, he thought. But he wrote: Something changed inside me. First, the pain doesn't go fast, it goes slowly. Second, what is slow and not fast? Waiting. Patience is the patient's best friend.

Delicately unsure of myself, he thought. But he wrote: All suffering is becoming. But what am I becoming? Ah, get off my cloud of unknowing.

Delicately unsure of myself, he thought. But he wrote: I trust this virtual paper to pull something out of me.

Delicately unsure of myself, he thought. But he wrote: No matter, sure to be unsure. There's some surety in that. And delicate? Oh, that'll stick around.

Delicately unsure of myself, he thought. But he wrote: Something's pulling at my intestines. They know, but they can't tell yet. Or have they done just that? Sounds like, you've been pulling one on yourself.

We have a Baroness and a diplomat. They were a team in a global organization. And they had an affair. And both were addicted to something. She to ****** and he to saving the world.
She promised him to quit and he promised her to quit.
He promised to quit if she promised to submit to a clinic after he quit his world saving addiction.
She promised to enter the clinic if he promised to leave the world’s stage.
They sat in a hotel room and she says, for the time being you can use you diplomatic status and pouches to get me the brown sugar. He said, the world saver he was, that could be great cover, for the time being.
Diplomaniak, I love you. Baroness, you sweet Brownie, I love you.
So for the time being as it was nothing changed.
The diplo haggled and joked with the dealers. He had learned the trade from his parents who both had been junkies. So he bought the best of the best. The Baroness took it for granted she got the best of the best.
Pouches came and went and the diplo covered it all up with a crazy story. About them containing samples of biochemicals used in warfare. And used by him to expose rogue states. All to prevent exposing his rogue mate.
Dealers asked him, you on the sugar?
No, it’s for my sugar. I’m on a drop of whiskey and a puff of tobacco.
But then time being as it was something changed.
The diplo finally found a suitable successor.  One who wasn’t trying to save the world. The world decided it would do it’s saving it self.
So in came a peace loving and peaceful negotiator. A man who extended existing wars and supported starting new ones.
The Baroness booked herself into the clinic. The diplo visited her every day. This time without the sugar but with a bottle of crème de cacao for her and a drop of whiskey for him. The nurse expressly had forbidden any stimulants in the clinic, so the diplo used a different pouch. He bought a large chocolate box. Together they retreated to a secluded spot in the garden and enjoyed sips of their respective browns.
One day the Baroness said, I’ve got to tell you something.  I’ve fallen in love.
With whom?
With the nurse.
Well, that’s better than being married to the needle, said the diplo.
You don’t care?
I care a lot but only for you.
Her new lover barred him from visiting her.
But the diplo found a way around this. He mimicked the voices of her family members and got her to visit him in their usual hotel rooms. There they sipped their browns in secret.
But the time being as it was one of them died. And when that happened their last words to each other were that they stopped making promises to each other.

Talking about the F-Word, let's talk.

Hey, it's a guy: F. Word. F. Word becomes F. Lesh.

F. Word looked at his watch. Saw the Metro-Gnome. Little sucker just keeps walking. F. Word watched his look. Narrow tunnels, deep sink holes, wide open spaces.

Here we go, he thought. Steps into his own pipe. Blackness breakable What's that over there? An old friend calls out to him. Hey, got some new clothes for you. Yeah, you deal in shrouds. So? What's the fear? You're gonna get dressed up in the end anyway. And after you see the light. The light I see now is a fight.

Here we go again, he thought. Steps into his own chasm. Darkness drinkable. After some deep falling he plunks down in an inch of water. What’s that over there? Another old friend calls out to him. Hey, got some new proteins for you. Yeah, the fleas, and who ends up as food? So? What's the fear? You're gonna get eaten anyway. And after there’s the apple tree. I'll be the apple, I'll flee.

Here we go again, he thought. Steps into his own vistas. Brownout boatable. Another old friend calls out to him. Hey, got some new ship for you. Yeah, the one that carries me nowhere. So? What's the fear? You're gonna be shipped off anyway. And your last Port of Call will be the Court of Pall. Must say, you got a way with words. You just gave me the floats.

The friends met in Mr. Koestler's Twilight Bar. How come we hardly ever see you here? they said to F. Word.  Keep getting lost, get into a fight, have to run, end up on my back in the canal. Boy, you still got your looks. How do you keep 'm up? Oh, those looks. I just traded in my Kingdom.

The world is full of teachers, masters and guides in eternal truths. And the best deal is fleeting falsehoods. They know they're teachers, masters or guides in eternal truths. So they're not bothered by their falsehoods floating by. And then you've got the ones that don't know they're teachers, masters or guides.

Like Mr. Loowie. What does he do? Well, he sits and talks like all the others.

Goes something like this: One thing I know for sure, I sure know my bikes. Remember that broken down bike I fixed. You don't remember. I remember. That bike's still running. Won't start me a bike shop. Doctor says, don't do it. I don't do it. People say, what you don't know about bikes, no one needs knowing. I know what I know, don't wanna know more. Follower says, sounds good, you sure talk some shop, gonna see if my bike needs fixing. Mr. Loowie says, we did some good talking.

Or goes something like this: One thing I know for sure, I sure know my way round town. Remember that old shop on that old street? You don't remember. I remember that old shop on that old street. That old shop is closing down. Couldn't make ends meet. I met the owner the end of the week. Couldn't find a buyer. I can buy that. Won't start me a tour guide shop. Doctor says, don't do it. I don't do it. People say, what you don't know about town, no one needs knowing. I know what I know, don't wanna know more. Follower says, sounds good, you sure talk some shop, gonna try to find my way round town. Mr. Loowie says, we did some good talking.

Or goes something like this: One thing I know for sure, I sure had some fun working at the grocer shop. And at the drug store shop. And at the stationer's shop I had so much fun with the girls. We laughed, we laughed. No ***** tonky, mind you. I won't start me a fun shop. Doctor says, don't do it. I don't do it. People say, what you don't  know about having fun, no one needs knowing. I know what I know, don't wanna know more. Follower says, sounds good, you sure talk some shop, now I know where to look for a laugh. Mr. Loowie says, we did some good talking.

Follower meets friend. Sounds like no way traffic. Eh, yeah, well, gotta go somewhere, may as well hitch a ride. Sounds like he's selling you *******. Eh, yeah, well, they say it's good for the garden. Gotta give it to you, not a pinch of falsehood in there. Eh, yeah, well, I guess that much is true. Tell you what, he can only handle one follower at a time. Ah, reminds me of my dentist.

Meet the man who heard faces. What? He heard a voice and saw a face. Why don't you say so?

The man who heard faces picked up his phone. At the other end a thin meticulous voice suggested an appointment. Something to do with personal development. Check: day, hour, place. He saw a sharp, dry face with glasses.  On the day, hour and at the place he met a creased, crooked face on top of a stocky guy. Well, he thought,  personal development starts here.

The man who heard faces turned on the radio. A soft, husky voice invited him to listen to an interview. He listened and didn't hear a thing. He saw a worn, battling face with a sleepy eye. Next day he came across the face in the papers. He saw a bland closed face with an earthy eye. Well, he thought, better listen and hear next time.

The man who heard faces sat on a train. Behind him a tweety, bubbling voice told someone to look at an airplane. He saw an angelic, creamy face with a sparkling eye. He turned around. He saw a dark, plotting face with a piercing eye. Just then a predator bird swooped down and picked up a mouse from the field.

Two guys pass each other on the street.
Hey, do I know you?
Could be, in a past life.
No, you look just like a Western actor.
Well, I act like a Westerner, but I’m currently studying a new role.
Week later. A guy passes a woman in a sports center.
Hey, aren’t you some famous tennis player? she said.
Well, the only ball I ever hit never came back.
Month later. A teenager passes a guy in a bar.
Hey, didn’t we have some beers together?
In the Crosscut Saw? In the Dying Buffalo?
Well, I remember sawing wood, and that buffalo died on me long ago.
I’ll give your regards to my brother.
Ah, get outta my face.
Two guys pass each other in a dream.
Hey, you’re my double.
Yeah, where’ve you been hanging out?

A boy walked in a mist.
He couldn't see for a hundred meters.
He felt he was lost.
He walked on, but the mist only thickened.
He followed a path that suddenly ended.
And now? he said to himself.
Next to him a hedgehog appeared out of the bush.
Hedgehog, he said, how do you find your way in this dense mist?
Well, said the hedgehog, I'm a prickly animal and my sharp pins sense
whether there’s danger or not.
But, said the boy, I'm lost and afraid.
Now, said the hedgehog, that's because you only use your eyes.
What you see is just mist and that's nothing to be afraid of.
But I don't have your prickly pins, said the boy.
Oh, said the hedgehog, but if you're afraid of the fog, just sit down
and wait till it dissolves.
How long? said the boy.
Just how long it takes, said the hedgehog.
Remember, your eyes are connected to your brain.
And so are your skin, ears and nose. Those are your pricklies.
I'll tell you what, said the boy, can I sit next to you for a while?
Right, said the hedgehog, sit down and enjoy what you see,
because what you see is mystery, not danger.

The tennis player who only played the ball on the lines
was invited to a match by a young girl.
The young girl was talented.
The line hitter kept hitting the lines, spreading his shots,
and in the end the young girl couldn't run them down.
The line hitter said: Did you enjoy it as much as I did?
Well, she said, you don't seem to play for points and
yet you win.
The line hitter said: True, I like hitting the lines more than anything else,
and I would've let you win, if only you could return my shots.
The tennis player who only played the ball on the lines
asked a young man if he liked to play a match.
The young man was a club champion.
The man kept hitting the lines, spreading his shots,
but now in such a way that the young man could keep
the ball in play longer.
The young man scored lots of points, but in the end he lost the match.
The line hitter said: Did you enjoy it as much as I did?
The young man said: No, you kept me hanging and in the end
still cut the rope.
The line hitter said: Well, you seemed to like the dangling.
The tennis player who only played the ball on the lines
couldn't find anyone on the court to play with.
So he went to the bar and saw an old man sitting alone.
The line hitter asked the old man if he would like to play a match.
The old man had been a many time national champion in the past.
The old man said:  Why not?
The line hitter kept hitting the lines, spreading his shots.
The old man easily returned and presented him with easy shots.
After hitting the lines 87 times in the final game,
the line hitter stumbled and fell.
The old man delivered a powerful shot, that went way out.
The line hitter said: Did you enjoy it as much as I did?
The old man said: What I especially enjoyed was letting someone win who plays as if he doesn't play to win.

A man met a woman friend on the street. She cried. Her grandchild had just died on a ski *****, buried under an avalanche. Inconsolable.
He was jealous. I only cry for myself, he thought. Arthritis of the hip, losing mobility, starts my tears.
The man sent a photo of a scythe he had named after a man who had died years ago. He missed the man just as much as the wife to whom he sent the picture. She cried seeing it.
The man was jealous of her tears. I only cry for myself, he thought. Feeling a goodbye coming to his former life and not knowing what to do next. That started his tears.
The man met a boy who just lost his watch. He cried heartbreaking.
Here, take mine, he said. It’s a cheap one and I don’t have as much time left as you.
I only cry for myself, he thought. Getting older, losing illusions, starts my tears.
Well, maybe my tears can provide the birds with drink.

Anyone stood at a bus stop. Which way to go, to and fro, back and forth, up and down, side to side, anything goes, for the moment, an eternity it seemed.

He waited at the bus stop. Yes, there it is. Ah, driver, where you going? Depends on the course you run. Run? I want to sit. Well, sit down. Next stop is Mars Street, Pluto Avenue, Sun Boulevard, Orion Lane, eh, lots more. You going to war? You want to get anywhere, you need Mars first. What about Jupiter Alley? So you know where you're going after all? Seems like the stars. You're on the right line. But the terminal station's a lot of empty space.
Too many stars, I'm getting out.

He waited at the bus stop. Yes, there it is. Ah, driver, where you going? Depends on whom you're with. Just with me and myself. That's a crowd. Next stop is Family Street, School Street, Job Avenue, Sect Boulevard, Yoga Lane, Qi-Gong Alley and Graveyard Junction. Phew, what a ride. I have a choice? No. Well, I'll join the parade. Yeah, and end up alone.
Too many people, I'm getting out.

He waited at the bus stop. Yes, there it is. Ah, driver, where you going? Depends on the dirt you're standing on. Let me look. Part sand, part clay, part stones. Could be anywhere. Look, I stop at Rock Road, Sand Boulevard, Sea Lane, Air Junction, Mud Street. Sounds pretty ***** to me. Son, it's just like you. Well, actually I'm looking for a clean up. Right, Air Thoroughfare is the one.
Too much wind, I'm getting out.

If life's a bus, Anyone thought,  why do I have to keep getting out?
Read your mind, the driver thought, want me to do without sleep?

Oh, Ah,
You are my
roundabout which
I round with a
minimal velocity
of three heartbeats
a second
chasing a
small guy,
naturally I mean
a small gal
but she doesn’t know it
and the small guy does.

It's a balmy spring evening. There's a couch, a cigar and green tea. And there's a man. The window's on a crack. In creep a pair of green eyes, fuzzy redhead and soft paws. Potted palm, some ceramic and a picture frame get knocked over. Some looking around. A sudden leap and the mouse is caught. One last look around and mouse in mouth vanishes through the window. Knocking over a candle.
Thanks Kitty. I'll call you Alibi. Leave the rest to the cleaning lady.

It's a sweaty summer evening. There's a couch, a cigar and a glass of chilled white wine. And there's a man. The window's on a crack. In creep a pair of pale yellow eyes, bushy black head and soft paws. Potted yucca, bronze statue and glass object get knocked over. Some delicate scanning. A sudden leap and the mouse is caught. One last scan and the mouse in mouth vanishes through the window. Knocking over a vase with an artificial flower.
Thanks Kitty. I'll call you Alias. Leave the rest to the cleaning lady.

It's a sweltering autumn evening. There's a couch, a cigar and a glass of cool beer. And there's man. The window's on a crack. In creep a pair of hooded eyes, capped head and gloved paws. Potted vegetables, glass tea *** and cooking pan get knocked over. Some tentative spot lighting. A sudden leap and the gold watch is caught. One last beam and gold in mouth vanishes through the window. Knocking over a bottle of beer.
The man opens his eyes. Thanks Kitty, for not ******* on the table. I'll call you Bias. Leave the rest to the cleaning lady.

It's a rainy winter evening. There's a couch, a cigar and a hot grog. And there's a man. The window’s an invitation.