It’s 2:00 a.m.
and I’m still not the person I want to be.

Confusedly used and choosing to cycle
a doozy of a beut be abusing the noodle
a noose for the loose lies and snoozed eye libel
chewing glue ‘til you blew new bubbles in trouble

I taunt me,
like a ripcord to a jumper.

Am I toiling or roiling? Or, do I even need to be foiled?
It leads me to believe I’m receiving the peace
by impeaching the keenness of leaderless feet
indeed defeating the most royal of boyles

Safety always seconds away.
But never close enough to be chosen.

Bite-sized incisors to rise from within
riptides to ride side-saddle or be straddled with a grin
paddle again, battle a jinn: the sin-bin win-win for adolescent kids
the spirit can hear it, dinned in tinnitus

There’s something, special
about the warmth.

Still.

That’s the difference.

And constant.
As a result of the stillness.

Sitting in bed
as my torso is half-warmed through the window
and my legs are half-frozen
from the lack thereof.

Not fully formed for
the frost mayhaps forgot, but
the ember forever remembers.

Pepperoni pizza with
red pepper flakes
and white sauce on my thighs

I keep eating it
kinda cannibalized

But I’m greedy
for a greasy meat trio
calves knees and higher

Waking up to go to work.
Another day another dollar.
I don’t actually like my job but
you need to make money somehow, I guess.

Another day another dollar
I wonder if drug dealers like their jobs
you need to make money somehow, I guess.
I bet clowns hate their jobs.
        
I wonder if drug dealers like their jobs
it’s got to be hard knowing how you affect someone
I bet clowns hate their jobs.
Because they terrify everyone.

It’s got to be hard knowing how you affect someone
that’s why I hate my job
because I terrify everyone.
I am a clown.

Asleep within a crevice
located between two rocks and a stone
if you drove deep enough to where nobody goes
there’s a hole with a whole boatload
of varying souls.

To the rods and cones they are nothing
as far as the eye can see,
to be seen is to be empty
like a large tank with sand, water, and coral
but missing a fish for which to swim in.

The peace it brings releases ease
and steeps in sleep awful disease.
It’s my steeple for people
who fear in unequals
and read into receipts to steer clear of evil.

The everything that permeates this place
is inflated solely by negative space
like a race that integrates grace
as a pace to be chased
erasing traces of hatred by opting faceless to waste.

I am sure that I am the ‘me’ and you are but ‘you’.
Sure, I am the ‘you’ that I am, but are you me?
I am me. But you are sure, that I am you.
Am I me? I am sure, but ‘you’ are you,
are ‘you’ but me? I am sure,
But, you are sure I am.
Sure, you are, but,
are you, sure?
Are ‘you’,
You?

My feet of sheetrock
knees and bones
stick and stone

Thighs of mica
calf of plaster
flint skin

I chuckle gleefully in buns of steel
and fiercely beat a sediment chest
with the face of a mesa and obsidian ribs
I see through tides of frozen lids