I know I'm not pretty,
I don't want your pity.
I know I'm not hot,
I know I don't mean a lot.

I know I'm not masculine,
Do I need discipline?
I know people say they care but do they?
I don't believe a word they say.

I know I should be happy,
I should be grateful for what I have.
I shouldn't feel sappy,
I should act brave.

Would the world care if I died?
Or would they think I went to hide?
Would they care if I wasn't here tomorrow?
Would they feel even an ounce of sorrow?

None of my friends get it;
They all think I'm throwing a fit.
They don't know what its like to feel replaceable,
I don't feel embraceable.

I wish they understood.
I wish I could talk about it with the people I care about,
But they make me feel more misunderstood.
They ignore how my mind constantly fills with doubt.

What do I do?
I don't have a single clue,
A single match in this never ending darkness,
Please give me a harness.

My life, once so dull,
Now feels immensely full.
My worries are all gone,
We have so much fun at dawn.

My life, once so boring,
Is now soaring.
When I see her, my heart skips a beat,
I feel my body feel with heat.

She fills my life with joy,
And she never treats me like a toy.
I thought I'd never find love,
But she flew into my life like a dove.

She fills my life with peace.
My stress has found its release.
My life has been forever changed by a love so true,
All thanks to you.

It started as a joke,
Some harmless fun.
Then the air cleared from its smoke,
I no longer wanted to run.

What’s this new desire called?
I’ve never felt this way before.
My heart now feels loud and stalled;
This is something I can’t ignore.

This must be love,
I see her as a dove.
She lights up my world,
Where shadows curled.

Do you remember
The last time you ate ice cream without feeling the need to surrender?
The last time you stepped on a scale
Without the number determining whether you pass or fail?

Do you remember
The last time you truly smiled without it feeling dismembered?
The last time you felt true joy and delight
Without you and your face having a fight?

Do you remember
The last time you got mad and didn’t get yelled at for your “temper?”
When were were young and naive
Without the fear of how you’re perceived?

I doubt it.
But now you find any excuse to jump into the pit.
You constantly spiral,
Not thinking about you’re survival.

Who am I?
Without the lies?
Who do I live for?
Can I be more?

Who am I when nobody’s watching?
Am I detaching?
When people aren’t seeing,
Am I fleeing?

Why do I have this constant need
To become what people need till I bleed?
Why can’t I live for myself
Instead of for themselves?

Why do I feel the need to lie?
Or feel the need to hide?
The need to protect myself from what?
The reason I keep the door shut.

I wish I knew
Why I’m so blue,
Why everything feels so strange,
Am I deranged?

I think I need help,
But nobody hears my yelp.
I’ll try to fix me,
Maybe I can finally be free.

Hey god,
I know I’m quite odd.
I know I don’t fit in.
I don’t feel okay in my own skin.

Does everyone feel like this?
Is everyone in this abyss?
Or is this just me?
I feel the opposite of free.

I should be happy.
I shouldn’t be feeling ******.
I’m “fortunate,”
But I feel like I have nothing to celebrate.

I feel like I need help.
I don’t trust myself.
But therapy’s expensive,
And I’m too defensive.

The devil has many appearances,
And we all think we see him on certain occurrences.
The devil doesn’t have red eyes or horns,
He isn’t a rose full of thorns.

It could be your ex best friend,
That you thought was such a godsend.
It could be an abusive parent,
That was the exact opposite of transparent.

The truth is we don’t know who he is,
We can’t ace that quiz.
He could be right in front of us,
And some of us wouldn’t even cause a fuss.

The devil
Some might say he’s the final level
The final piece in the puzzle
That one thing that causes us to struggle

But for all we know one of us could be the devil
We might not be rebels


Some say he hides in plain sight
With all his might
But others say he stays away in his domain
Waiting to cause pain

But we’ll never know
So let’s not spoil the show