Whatever is left of me,
if you can remember anything
I've ever said,
down any path I've ever
led you, or
wherever you've led me,
if you can see me,
I'm free now,
for this world that is
always taking.

There's no need to lie to me,
there's no need to comfort this
dying fool who
wasted his time, pining in his
prime for a
chance
he knew
would never come.
After all, this
misery was by
design, to save the one
I love.
It's over now, I'm giving up.

I don't want your
sympathy, your
thoughts or your
prayers.
I wish I could illustrate
what I've won from this dare.
How do you
describe something
that isn't
there?
I lean on the hope that
what's left of me,
you'll share.

I took
so
much
effort
bleeding out this
place,
I've
emptied every coffer,
every altar
defaced.
I
scraped
away
the pretty paint
looking for the
matter,
and there it was,
this emptiness, getting fatter.

Now I sink in,
once again,
to this bog
I've been
stuck in,
struggled in,
woke up in,
fell asleep in,
dreamed in,
broke free in,
feared in,
**** and ****** in,
got cleaned in,
once again,
it takes me under.

Every light I see at night,
Ripping through the darkly hue,
Worded right, I hope they might
Make come true a wish for you.

Wild star, falling far
Without shame, unafraid
Heaven mar, henna scar
Though untamed, you know her name.

I've gone mad in the empty
I've breathed in too much hope
I've collected one big memory
Bit it, chewed, and choked

When something dies within me
A slice of life maudlin
I'll spit out my misery
Bite, chew, choke again

I'll keep this up forever
It will be my effigy
The loss that keeps me together
Until it, too, is empty

Thoughts and prayers

The water that floats is the water that sinks

No forest for the trees, no chain for the links

So long did I
Avoid recognizing
This play for
What it was.

No stars aligned,
No fire radiated
A single sign to
Pull me from these lines.

Long ago,
Deep below,
Treasures in the night
Only waited...

What was I thinking?
I could never let this go.
Forever is a long time
To be sinking...

So long have I
Gone without deciding.
So long, dear life
I'll never know...

Whoever coined the term

"time heals all wounds"

had either no sincerity

or no heart


After a while, we become jaded to these gestures of clarity, these simplicities that try contorting pretty colors from the grey. To be human is to share violently all things you think are true, to be ugly in direct proportion to the beauty you wish to see. Don't hide from your pain; strangle it. There's no time for less.

I've never known how to start anything.
If I manage to, I don't know how to keep it going.
I don't even think death will be an end to this ignorance.