I'm going to lose my life.
She's going To end it For me.
I'm Scared Now, what am I supposed to do?
I can't Run, She always finds me.
I'm Alone now.
Feeling Lonely And Hopeless.
That's what she feeds on
She leached on to me.

I’m scared .
To lose my strength.
Have no durability.
To Give in So quick.
Be that weak
Where I don’t fear Tweak.
Find it easy
To just go seek.

I’m Worried
To reach that level .
Just Relapse constantly .
not care who Knows.
My problems
Have me overwhelmed.
Every day
The Stress grows .
I can’t bare another
Tug & Pull.

He’s On His way.
He is My cab.
The devils rushing
To take me back.
The darkness loves me.
Showed me plenty of times.
You are replaceable, when it comes to my baby love.
The devils rushing
He really wants me.
I’m his favorite
He says I have so much potential
With crimes and Risks
He loves the effort I take for a Hit
This Time will be different.
If he reaches me Before you Save me.
I will turn to the needle.
So I can really feel lit

Ok ok all we do is argue .
Let’s try something new
No talking just Touching .
Something we lack .
Teach me other ways of
showing you love.

Let’s have fun
Let’s have ***
Let’s explore together new ways of making us feel great .

Let’s forget about Our life and problems
By Letting me ride Your Big *** ****.
On the bed , the floor the couch.
Let’s get ***** & ******* naughty.
Make me feel great about my body
By touching me In Desperate worshipping ways .

Let’s just take a pause from showing love and affection.
By Having *** and feeling that nice ****** sensation.

Teach me what makes you *****
The words , which Moans , my voice of tone.
What do you want me to say
Tell me baby il ******* obey .
So  Just shut the **** up .
Bend me over
*** up high
Head down low.
Make me ******* moan.
Spread my Cheecks apart
Watch your **** slip in and out.
My ***** waters at the thought
Of having your hard fat ****
Touching with just your tip on my ***** lips.
Teasing My kit
You see the nice juice your making me produce.
Yeah love that **** daddy .
Stroke me nice and slow .
Stop ******* with my heart !
Come **** my brains instead .
Shove your **** down my throat
Let me gag & choke.


Drop all your Issues
Let’s feel something other
than anger
By putting In your index fingers
One in the pink
One in the stick
Come here baby

Whats left of us.
What are we doing..
Where do we truly stand
in each other lives?
What meter is Our Respect & love
aiming towards?

We're scribbled.
we are clueless.
1s holding on in fear of loneliness.
The others Holding on in confusion
with what's best for them.


Whats best for us?
We Dot more reasons on why
we make each others life unhappy
than actually happy.

Are we avoiding the reality?
The reality of our love just
not capable of going forward?
The spark we once had died long ago..

What are we holding on to.

Same Broken Record
It's playing all day long
I'm singing & talking about the same ****** song.
How It hates life
Drugs are the only thing right
The cure to her diease was love
Sadly it ended up being with the wrong one.
It killed her
Not even a substance will make her feel Gone
Only reality, a slit to the wrist
Zone off From the deep cut
A slow sleep
Finally

So where are the drugs ?
I’ve been Running long .
marathons where no matter how fast I runned? how much Effort I put in ? For none of it to ever be seen. Wether I gave my all & pushed further to doing Better than my best?
I exceeded my strength & held strong for occasions that would have been real reasons to
drop it all.

So where are the drugs?
It doesn’t matter anymore .
Drug addiction is not happiness.
Some don’t believe it’s a disease?
That’s a shame..
No dope fein is happy
No drug addict loves there habit.
Once Addicted , all feelings are changed. Your high is far different from that other person who’s consuming for the party.
To enjoy & Have fun.
Addicts are miserable.

Where are the drugs ?
My struggle is always Twisted around. I’m always doubted.
Always looked at wrong .
My savior ended up being my destroyer.
Left me 4 dead a thousand times .
Why so many ?
I should have been left huh?
I loved him .
Loved .

Prt1

I’m not sure where I am.
Its all confusing,
So much is getting out of hand.
My thoughts , My feelings
My choices & Wants.
The actions I’ve taken  
Are Not connecting
Everything’s mixed up .

My minds in circles .
Its spinning
So so very fast .
Tugging from good to bad.
I feel so odd
Things feel so off .
I can’t make sense of
what’s going on.

Something is wrong .
though another thing is Trying to push me away from Seeing it

You once told me.
'Not everyone thinks like you'
I Now know.
what your phrase means.
how its applied to our life.
I Loved you so much.
I did everything to be in good terms.
I was crazy for you baby ...
FINALLY
I understand why'd you leave.
My Feelings for you were deep.
you did not feel nothing for me.
which explains why
you'd leave me alone in the cold
crying, sobbing, hurting.
Explains why You didn't care
if you hurt me.
my feelings did not matter.
you felt no sympathy.
you had zero importance for my emotions.
that's why you'd walk away freely..
I was never anybody to you.
not even with the intimacy did I matter...
you used me.
got tired so youd find ways to leave.
get me off your back to welcome a new female...

Minds spinning
Mouth can’t say nothing.
Heads flooded
I can’t type anything .

NOTHING...
September 2017
What can I say .
Im Heart broken, I Relapsed & I'm Lonely Again.
It's interesting, I was Feeling These emotions from the start.
Nothing's changed
Besides my heart, it got torn apart.
It's official Dead.
I Will feel love for no one .
What a shame .
Now It's The drugs I Will consume  To fill in All my empty spots.
Funny how people feel dissapointed .
they become angry at me .
Saying how could I go back to this.
It's Wrong &

-----

The Day Ends
Like all others.
We Go back to normal lovers.
Forgetting the insults
thrown At eachother .
Not this time .
I Havnt forgotten.
My feelings still flow the same.
Sickened & saddened.
I need to Leave .

It’s been clear for years
There’s no happiness here for me.

Sooner or later .
Yes, your finally RIGHT.
What’d you assume?
That’d I’d be dumb forever.
Eventually I’d Start
Opening my eyes .
Viewing Reality
In all different sides.

Did it not ever
Occur to your lil mind?
That one day I’ll be tired
Of chasing your heart,
Just to Play another game of your
“I’m sorry, I’ll change”

It was a process.
To reach this top mountain.
Dealing with my reality
the problems i avoided coming
all back at once.
Catching up with life.
Carrying Heavy weight
Of Drug Abuse.
hate, pain, sadness.
Hopeless & unworthy
Beliefs.
Being let down by the one
who committed to Forever Protect
and care for my heart.

Years of Tears
Finally Took its Told.
Constantly crying & still
being left alone.
Always abandoning me
Leaving without notice.
Many of those escapes
You came back with something
for me to feel less worthy.
Betrayal , A lie.
Truths have always made there
ways back to me,
Of your fun nights.

To be continued ..

I’m Down.
Il take all the risks now.
Lose that love For A Pound.
I’m tired of All this ****.
Back & fourth Arguing  
non stop B.s
I’m Really For it now.
I can’t take this useless life of mine
Doing nothing but wasting time.
**** it **** it
Yeah I’m All for it.
Take The risks that dope life brings
I’ve had enough
I hate sobriety
Dope love Baby , come save me
Oh your mad?
I don’t give a ****
I feel no pitty when I’m on
**** your feelings cause Il be gone
Had 6 years To Show me What you promised. Instead you constantly failed Me and showed Me Your just so ****** disloyal & Not Honest!
Rehab Can’t cure me.
Il turn to the razor.
It’s not Drugs I want
It now death i crave

I love being high on ****
It doesn’t make me feel Great.
It doesn’t bring me happiness
It doesn’t make me smile & laugh
I don’t feel good on this drug.


I love being on one.
Because I don’t feel , I’m numb.
I love That I View life Differently.
My insecurities Go Away.
My appearance doesn’t matter
I walk happily.
I love that I don’t think about my sadness. I forget about all the sad **** that goes through my head.
I love that I don’t care about not having any accomplishments, I Don’t drive & Havnt graduated.


I love being high on this.
My relationship is Amazing.
I can be next to my lover & completely forget all the heartbreaks.
Everything ****** up I dealt with.

It does not make me feel
Happiness.
I feel happy that I don’t care about the reality of my life when I’m on .

Don’t fall for it .
Stay strong.
There’s other ways around this.
Permanent solutions
Ones that won’t cause harm.
Just time & patience.

Don’t do it.
Push through it!
Fight the urge !
It’s not with it.
A temporary choice
That will Bring more devastation.
Another problem thrown
To the pile of Unresolved ones.

Stay strong !
Hold on !
Yes, it’s hard love.
But What do you prefer?
Sobriety, zor A never ending
Drug run

Smoke dope get high
Do a line feel fine
This ? Yeah , it’s how
I’m going to die.
Forever in my veins
**** a love I’ll restrain.
This crystal is my Everything
I don’t need nobody or anything
As long as I’m on
Idx If i don’t have anyone .

Dope love
Changes me entirely .
From feeling
To not giving a ****
For nothing around me!
Takes away the pain
The memories .
Takes my mind away from reality.
I don’t think of all reasons
I’m not happy.
My thoughts are cleared.
My body’s here
My soul , mind , spirit
Is all in hell

Don't hate Me, Don't blame Me.
Please Don't Make me Feel Worse.
Don't tell me I'll never change.
Don't Assum I want to Continue being a drug addict.
Don't believe drugs are my only happiness and it's all I care about.
Don't leave me
Thinking It's drugs I prefer.
I Want To be Sober.
It's Just Really hard For Me To forget The Power Drugs Provide.
Easy Numbness And Cures all My misery and sadness.
It's hard For a Drug addict to Just Forget and Quit something That gives You An easy solution to Bad days.
Would You Stop Doing Something That makes You feel Better?

I'm Down
Lowering To the ground
With every minute that passes
I'm Caring less
Depression is manifesting
Addiction is controlling
I'm not wanting
These bad feelings are pouring
Bones are aching I feel so weak
I Don't Want, I feel I have too
I warned myself, where's my brain? The mentality of Wanting to change ? My hope? My strength?
Why don't I feel like changing anymore. I'm not afraid to lose Nomore
I'm feining now.. for tweak
IM sorry, I warned Me
I knew this would happen
I have already forgotten
I'm ok now, with being a Drug Addict ...
I lost my ways within 2 weeks
All because my heart broke
I lost my hope
It can't be

Why do I go back.
Obsess over a sack.
Why must I Go back.
Relapse on Pieces Of Glass.
It’s a Shame That I lure in.
I hate, but I can’t leave it alone .
I don’t want it , yet I’m out finding .
Please hold me.
I’m Scared, Stay please.
Pray for my sanity.
I’m far from perfect, that’s certain.
I have no hope, I want to find it.
Before it’s to late.
When Tweaks In me
I see things differently.
I’m not myself, I’m nobody
When crystal reaches my blood stream , all I see are reasons to keep on using.
When I think of sadness
I crave a fix.
I fein To not have feelings towards it
In my real mind.
I scream & cry.
I yell till my lungs tear out.
I shout for savor
A miracle to change me.
A geni To grant me a wish
The serenity to Help me reach the end of my disease

I’ve been holding strong.
Fighting all the triggers.
Coping with holding
back the urges.
I’m proud of myself.
For being able to move forward.
I’m finally on the
road of recovery.
Putting in all my Effort to over come this .
It’s All good Now ,
I’m glad I don’t have to walk around with all that weight of being careful & looking out.
All the Weight of What
addiction brings .
Finally, A new beginning.
First thing off My Life list
Is Everything that involves drugs.
I no longer want to be in conversations , settings , reminders etc That involve Substances.
(:

I’m sorry
I couldn’t Stay dedicated.
Couldn’t get off drugs completely.
I’m sorry
My Drug use impacted
My present with you.
That I couldn’t manage to Keep my problem just to myself.

Knowing What I became
Brings a lot of disgust to your face.
The last thing you ever imagined..
Was to end up with a druggie.
I’m sorry
You were cursed & Brought the opposite of what you desired.
I know I’m far off
Your Type & what your
attracted to.
Im so sorry.

I feel bad because
You never made yourself aware.
I wish to go back in time
& Explain to you What Being an addict was & How difficult I’d become Once I’d get sober.
How my mind won’t function accordingly, how much of a mess I turned into.
I wish to go back & Explain well to where you’d back off me.
You never Expected
That my problem was really going to be a big deal ..

I know You wish to have
Been Inlove with a previous girl.
I know you’d wish
Your 1st love turned out to be
The one you’d marry.
I’m so sorry you ended up
With A terrible downgrade.

I’m deeply sorry
For not being stronger.
I held strong Through all your insults & Hurtful things
You’d tell me,
I held strong when I
was just your toy
Being told
“we will never be anything”
I held strong through all the rain & thunder you put me through before we got together.

I assumed
Being your girlfriend
Would change Everything.
We’d start fresh & be
happily Inlove.

That’d I’d be able to let go
Of all the hurt & move on
Having a strong loving
bond with you.

We Then Got Together
I even committed to
forever leave drugs.
Because I was serious on making us work & leaving behind all things that Made us impossible.
A new chapter
Filled with smiles & laughter
A fresh start.

So I had thought.
Little Had I known
Getting together
Wasn’t the answer to
Anything.

january
110
I’m scared
To Relapse & Stay Stuck
To give up recover
I’m scared to
Look at you and walk away forever.
To just not care wether you believed I truly loved you.
I’m scared
For my love to be trapped
For all My strength to be gone
Lose it all ,

---

1218
I need something
Right now.
I don’t need anything
But I crave for a runaway
To run right tf now
I don’t need , I want
What I want are terrible things x
Fixtures to a faster end
I’m tired , I’m so so tired
This ****** life I cycle

-----

Untitled
I’m proud of you
For all you’ve reached & conquered
I’m so proud of you
For the person you’ve become
I remember the first time I seen your face so enlightened.
It was the day you Got your first job
Oh did you forget?
Who listened to your Pain
The days you’d come home angry
Feel so upset & self hate .
Believed you were worthless

---
march 2017

I’ve Relapsed Before.
These feelings are different though.
Been relapsing Frequently.
Not Once or Twice.
Full binge tweaking.

I don’t know anymore.
I’ve gone to far
Idk where I stand
I feel I’m going soon
Where to ?
My familiar home.

---
jun 23

Shut up
Yeah it don’t matter
To me like before.
Yes yes whatever you say ,
Of course because of me.
All my fault
I’m to blame
I’m to be hated .
Oh yeah darling I don’t care.
Uhuh sure believe I
never loved you.
Go on keep telling me how much more I prefer drugs .
Yup yup
What else?
Ohh more insults ok
Yeah continue on
Ok ok & ok.

---

it hurts
The pain is too much.
These drugs aren’t enough
To numb them completely.
It’s tough , I need something
Real Fuckinn rough
To relieve me
From my broken heart
..

I’ve fallen to my knees
When I cry
I look up at the sky
Begging god
To please Help me see
Clearity and the path
To the life I deserve.
One Filled with happiness
Laughter, Comfort , Love .
Dk idk

---

-
All I wanted was to be & feel
So loved By him.
Did everything i could ..
Forgave him many times for things I shouldn’t have but I gave him many chances because I couldn’t see my self ever hating him .
I love him so much despite everything.
My tears won’t stop Dropping .
I don’t think I’ll ever stop crying
This hurts so much
I’m truly broken
Idk how to explain how deep my pain currently is.


==

August

My journey To recovery,
Has been extremely devastating.
Ive been walking alone.
Doing this all on my own.
No one to grab
no one to hold.

The Clocks ticking
How much longer will i hold?
Looking around, im lonely.
Im Pushing forward
Solo
Its going to hit me soon
Turning my head to see the one w
I

You Are my biggest trigger.
Baby, You Are Pushing Me.
I'm Scared To Fall.
But The Pushing is getting strong.
Baby, I'm Scared.
I'm Scared At the fact That I'm Not Afraid. Too much on my brain.
My Pain Is Building Up.
I'm running low on Space.
I'm sorry but I can't tolerate!
This is Becoming to much.
Many arguments Left unresolved.
Baby I Can't take this Anymore.
The Fighting & broken promises.
I've held strong for long .
I'm getting to that Point ..
Where I'm Going To Give in.
I'm not happy, I'm So miserable.
They told me Sobriety Is the best feeling ever. Why aren't I Joyful?
Why am I still Depressed !
Baby, I've told You many times.
Please change . Please treat me nice. Show Me How great life is Sober. It's You Who wants me Drug free. I Cleaned up For You.
I Quit For You. You promised To show me how great life is off drugs.
I'm Still waiting ..
I'm Waiting For You To treat me like Your queen. I'm Eager To Live happy with You & off drugs.
To Smile , Enjoy life and Love each other.
So Baby? When Does it start ...
Why Do You Still Treat me Unfair?
Why Do You Still do things that make me Feel Upset. Why am I Living The opposite of what you said? I Fought temptation Many Times. I Managed To Not relapse Through Times I Should Have.
I've been Strong. For You..
like I Said, I'm weakening .
What's The Point of staying sober?
I'm starting to forget. I'm Starting to lose faith in sobriety.
You want me To Be Kind & Sweet.
Respectful, loving & caring.
You want me to play wifey.
Baby, Why must I Stay around?
If You Ignore me Whenever.
You Forget About me Easily.
You don't care how I'm feeling.
I'm Supposed To Be Positive.
Stay happy, Kiss and love you unconditionally.
You want me to show You affection.
Treat You like A King And be at your service .
I Am A Puppet, Your prisoner.
I Don't find This Fair. We are supposed To Be even.
Why Did You make me your gf?
Can You tell me What was The point of Quitting Drugs ?
I Changed my lifeStyle for You.
You Wanted Me To be Yours.
You promised me A better life.
I Am Yours now & im So Unhappy.
I have been Loyal, truthful & Loving.
You Have Been Unfaithful, Careless and Lieing.
It hurts me To know You Said "I'm Pushing You away" with My constant Tripping & arguing .
It crushes my heart. How do You not see That it's You that's causing me? How do You not see How Careless You Are About my feelings. I'm the only one With The privilege To say "your pushing me away". You have Done Things That I should have Left You For. Yet I've never Told you "Your pushing me away" I put up with Your ******* a lot. I forgive and forget everything.
Yet, You Are the one losing interest in me? That hurts.
Im Strongly attached To You.
I'm So used To Being with You.
You Are My daily Task & routine.
My Life and choices revolve around You. Your the center Of My World.
I'm Sprung, I'm obsessed , I'm in love with you Popa.
I gave up drugs To Be With You.
You became My new Addiction.
I Do everything You Ask me To.
In return, I Get tears running down My cheeks and feelings Hurt.
I Am Changing.
Im No longer A Fool Like I was before. Where I let you Walk over me and Treat me however And Still love and Sweet talk With You.
I Don't Show You Much affection Anymore . Why? You give me no reasons To Be Lovable.
I'm Arguing More Frequently.
Why? You are giving me many reasons To Be negative with you.
Listen Closely Baby ...
I'm Tired of all Your b.s.
Tired Of You doing whatever.
Im Tired Of Not being treated how I was promised in the beginning.
I can't continue Being played like a fool. I can't keep moving forward in a relationship where I'm not happy.
I'm Drifting baby, Hope you Notice.
Hope you realize It's because of Your decisions and Doing as You please. It's the Lack of affection, And The fact That You don't think whether your choices hurt my feelings. The fact that You break promises and Do things behind my back.
I've Done Nothing As Bad As You.
If I have? It's because of You.
You Always come first in my agenda. I always Think about your feelings and how Certain things will Affect You.
You Want Me To stop arguing And talking ****.
It all Starts With You.
You just have to Do Right and Not things That Get me angry.
Treat me With Love.
You will Get the same back plus much more ...

Midnight
The Time When it's best.
Interacting With The devil.
Releasing All My Stress.
Smoking & Lines
I'm tired of this life
Lien about recovery,
I want to stay high.
I Reached That Level
Where I should stay like this forever. Sobriety Always has me under weathers.
Being on keeps me
Away from all wrong.

Find it gross that I've abused drugs? I find it disgusting That you play with girls hearts.
I don't care if it's a turn off.
I'm not trying to impress anyone but make my own self feel better.
In A Stage where all
Bad Doesn't exist
My life is all rotten so I feel nothing.
Which is good
Nobody wants me anyways.
I have no life , body or Pretty.

I’m moving on
I feel many rocks slowly
Lifting off.
I’m feeling a lil sense of happiness.
I used to think it was ****** up for me to say & feel this way .
It’s actually not.
I’m unhappy
All I do is hurt & cry heavily .
I shouldn’t care
If he reflects sadness on me.
Making me feel like the bad guy.
Always faulting and blaming me.
I shouldn’t care for his loneliness .
I shouldn’t stay anymore .
I’m tired of satisfying him
For him to **** me over again.
This is ok for me to feel.
It’s ok for me to want to leave
& say bye bye dear.
All I do is cry and hate myself.
I’m happy I’m finally coming to an agreement within myself.
Letting go

This is the year.
That will determine my fate.
Either I get it together
Or
Await a death date.
It’s been too long.
To still debate
Strive for heaven
Or
Hells gates.
No more chances .
Acceptions or excuses.
I know all consecuences

You let her slip away.
Dark roads only appear ahead.
You loved her enough
To see her let go & walk off.
Knowing the road she was currently on.

you raged when she used.
Never did you do anything to prevent another fall.
You Wanted her to see the
world different.
Never did you show her something other than
betrayal scenarios .

She expected only
Love honesty & respect.
From you.
You excepted
Changed slang , New personality
Different style
From her.

All she wanted was to be loved
You you wanted was to be loved and have all the freedom you want

My Heart is broke,
I glued the pieces back together.
Then it happened again,
Once more I glue the fallen pieces.

My love
still goes on for him.
No matter his destruction.

His wrongs stay unspoken.
My bucket filled of tears
is always left unnoticed.

No matter the storm
I hang on tight.
Made a commitment
To loving him long .

It’s hard.
Balancing out the lows
Leveling out the highs.
puzzling everything
To make all his
Broken promises
Appear right.

It’s been a journey ,
A troubled trail
Interfered Within my own life.
It’s been chaotic,

Seeing where I’m
Stepping now ?
Has me empty handed.
Putting all my time
& energy into this
Tornado I call love ..

Thats it.
Enough of the tears & ****.
I’ve Seen enough.
He’s put me through
too ****** much.
It’s Clear He
DOESNT VALUE ME at all!
He NEVER Changes
He will NEVER CHANGE
I’ve given him 5 years
To Still Be put through ******* every month ?
I can’t change him.
So it’s Time for me to change.
Showing him love has done nothing But hurt me.
I’ve done everything
& I’m still faulted for **** ?!
Im Innocent & Nothing will change him from doubting it ?
Im tired of Being  accused
No matter what I do
He’ll only believe if he wants Too.

I Love You, but Im Sorry.
For Failing on Myself And Dissapointing You.
After 2yrs of being sober,
I Relapsed again.
I Couldn't Help it. I Had To Use.
Temptation Was Strong And I Didn't try fighting it this time.
I Didn't See A Point In Staying Sober. I'm miserable Either way.
We are always arguing.
You Are always Making me feel sad and hurt my feelings.
I'm Tired Of Being a fool And forgiving You. When You don't even deserve to be forgiven.
You Don't Treat me fair And don't show me real love and Affection.
Always at your convenience.
I have Always been Good to you.
Honest , Loyal , trustworthy.
I Don't deserve to be treated less.
I Wanted To Use.
To not feel The way I Do Anymore.
To Forget all The ****** up **** you done to me and feel  Numb.
Please Don't hate me.
I Hope You understand.

I'm letting You know now.
I'm Losing my strength.
I'm losing my will And Power To stay strong and remain sober.
I feel like I can't Do it anymore.
I just want to go back to my old ways. I Want To feel numb and not ever feel any type of hurt again.
Why Do drugs have to be dangerous.

"It's okay.
It hurts.

I saw it.
The way your eyes drifted to others.
Never straying to mine.
Never filled with the same spark.
Always dull.
Lifeless.
Loveless.

My heart.

You would say it.
Those three words.
Not to me.
Never to me.
To the others.
They always got your love.
I got your hate.
Your anger.
Always.

“You don’t have to love me.”

You gave me orders.
To stay home
Have no friends
Only you can I conversate with.
While your allowed to do the opposite of everything
I was not to.

I can’t.

I was your puppet.
You pulled the strings.
And I obeyed your commands.
You never loved.
Not me.
Never me.
I was your toy.
Something you could throw away.

Take it.

It’s all a game.
Of feeling.
Of pain.
Of love.
Of hate.
You are the king.
I’m your pawn.
Just a piece on your board.

I’m done.

I loved you.
More than anything.
I let you use me.
Hurt me.
If I got to be with you.
Nothing else mattered.
You didn’t feel the same.

Stay strong, Hold on .
You don’t need it !
Deal & Reslove
Don’t choose the hit.
You’ve been down that road
Enough times to know
It’s never worked
Why are you hesitating ?
The answer is no !
Don’t let your tears
Get ahold & ruin the great number
of sobriety days you worked hard for.

Recovery is rough
life after addiction is tough.
Its All worth the huffs & puffs
from holding back & not give up.
You Can Do It.

Yoi will be happy,
Life clean is pure beauty

I’m here.
Surrounded by demons.
I no longer fear.
I’ve given myself to them.
The whispers became clear
The voices are now real.
Who’s better to love ?
A chemical of course .
So Toxic But So pure.
Who’d I choose now?
I’ve chosen he
Who Treats me better
Who’s proven
Dope? Is more powerful.
Hope? Is not promisble.
The devil offered a  deal.

To walk with him
Once again ,
To join his pack
Only pleasure & never pain.
Opening my eyes
How I’ve only felt misery
Sadness & Heart breaks
In this so called
“Real life”

I love the way you ignore me.
I love it when you make me feel like I don't exist.
I love The way You Say You care
Although you are never there.
To hold me & make me feel better.
You Always say an excuse when it comes To comforting me.
"You push me away, You talk ****"
Yet it's so easy for You to
Disrespect & Diss me.
How Can You carry that heart.
How can you express it to someone who's done nothing but listen and Obey.
For you to take advantage and Betray.
You'll fall inlove again.
I know You will.
With new *****.
A cute Face & Nice body.
Will hypnotize you &
il Be easy to forget.
Farewell

I'm Not on.
Baby Sorry, I'm On 2.
I can't stop now