All I want
is love,
but that’s
to much
to ask.

I chase it,
hoping someone
would stay,
but they
walk away.

I’m always
stuck in place,
lost in space,
snake like chains
wrapped me
with venomous,
murderous
intentions
of hate—
losing myself,
anxious to ask
for help,
always
remained lonely,
like a castaway.

Hi…
I’m so alone.
I want to talk to
someone—
I say ”hi”,
they say “goodbye”,
and walk away.
I wish they’d
stay.

I’m so alone,
each moment
I exist,
I fade away—
a group forms,
backs turned,
building a wall,
tall and mighty.
I walk away,
only to feel
the silence
beating me
down,
leaving me
lonely again.

I’m so alone—
But once—
I met someone
with a warm smile,
blazing like a
fireplace.

And when
that someone
comes up
to say “hi”,
I forget
I’m alone.

For a moment
I belonged…
But I realize
the fire
won’t last
long.

I’m so alone—
Someone asked
if I’m “okay”
only for me to say
“I’m fine”—
or “goodbye”
and walk away,
not knowing
where to go—

Only to
feel cold
and alone
again…

Goodbye

I hide away
from a place
you won’t
find me…

I can’t find
myself through
my words
when I’m hurt—
I’m scared.
when you
ask me
if I’m ok

I wish I could
define my
emotions—
I’m drowning
in the ocean,
stuck in the
shattered
moment

But instead
I pretend
and say
“I’m fine”

You wanna
talk now,
But I walked
out

Every minute
I sit on that couch,
Your critics
start to
speak to
me

You said you
would stay,
But you walked
away

I’m done
playing your
rigged games—
you throw
shame on me,
then hate
started
to eat me alive
and you blame
It’s my fault
all along,
Even though
you dealt
the same cards

every time
You beg
me back,
we fallback to the
Same trap,
Carrying the map
of no hope,
I wanna let go
of these cracked
memories that
were never meant
to be,
But only me
to see—

I can’t breathe,
I can barely speak—
And I’m sorry,
But we can’t be…

I’m breaking,
collapsing
into pieces,
trapped in
my bathroom—
crying…

shaking
in fear,
tears fall
against the
floor with stress,
My chest heavy,
Barely breathing,
I’m a mess—
barely holding
on

Not ready to
leave yet,
Afraid to ask
“I need help”…
I’m a little
unsteady