You're inside of me
You hide in me
Drain the feelings from my body

So let me drain you
From within me
Stain the room
And my body red
With all
And any
Remnants of you

You're inside of me
You hide in me
Corrode everything inside of me
As you burn away
Any semblance of whats
Left over of me

So let me drain you
Out of my body
Cover myself in something
Other than your touch

GET OUT OF ME
I want to scream
But all I can do
Is lay here lifeless
As you consume
Every
Last
Little
Bit
Of me

Throwing stars
Marking up my hands
My arms

I lay on the ground
Staring at the stars
In the dark
Looking at where they should be
Instead of
Inside me

Throwing stars
Aimed at my body
Marking up
The will left inside of me

I lay on the floor
Staring at the stars
In the dark
Looking at where they've traveled to
Instead of
Where they do

Throwing stars
Leaving scars
Leaving me
Bleeding and marked
For if you miss
Your hands are the target
But you only did this to me
Only subjected me
To your torturous whims

Atleast now I know
How to throw a star
With unweilding accuracy
But what use does that do
When the only stars I wish to touch
Are of those up above
Unreachable
Far above me

All this rage inside of me
Slowly
NO!
Not slowly anymore

All this rage inside of me
Corroding my insides
Burning away everything in it's way
Trying to escape

All this rage inside of me
Begging to be let out
Until it scares everyone around

All this rage inside of me
Begging to escape
Until it burns everything down
Until its all burnt to the ground

Leaving nothing behind
But my body
Curled up on the floor
Surrounded by ash
And destruction
While it corrodes
And eats away the rest of me
Until all that lays
Curled up
Are my bones

Everything in me is screaming
BEG
SCREAM
CLAW
DON'T LET GO

But this silence isn't just effecting my voice
Its effecting my soul

Everything in me is screaming
CRY
SCREAM
HIT
KICK
BREAK EVERYTHING
or god forbid just yourself

But this inability to move isn't just effecting my limbs
Its sunk deep into my bones

Everything in me is screaming
SURVIVE
FIGHT
LIVE

But nowhere to go isn't just words
Its the reality of my world

Everything in me whispering
Give me relief
Give me release
Set my mind free
From this body

Everything in me begging
Cut me
Burn me
Hurt me
Desolate me
Desicrate me
Break my bones
And leave me out in the cold

This life isn't mine
It never was
It doesn't belong to me
So set it free
And let it drift to someone else
In need
Who actually has a place to go
A future with a home

Let me erase every semblance
Of what could ever be regraded
As a face

Let me remove my *******
Leave nothing in the way
But a bare chest

Let me seal my hole shut
Sew it closed until nothing
But a flat surface
Is all that you can see

Take a blade
A flame
And mutilate any semblance
Of me

For if I no longer look
Appealing
No longer look
Human
Maybe they won't mutilate
My soul
Or the inside of me

Have you ever wondered
If your existence was simply
A universal mistake?
That when your mom talks about
Almost making sure
That you weren't born
That something got in the way
That shouldn't have?

I lay here in agony
Believing this
Believing in my supposed
Unexistance

When she talks about forgetting
That you even exist
Other than when she randomly gets
A little reminder
I sit and I wonder
If that's maybe just the universe glitching
Because somewhere in some time
I wasn't meant to be

I sit and I wonder
If my supposed unexistance
Can explain everything away
Because maybe its the universes way
Of trying to correct its mistake

I'm not a mistake here
Not there
Or anywhere on a level of your attention
I'm a mistake on the level
Of universal inattentiveness

My existence has been pure hell
Full of near death experiences
Via my own hands and others
But I am a quantum mistake
That isn't easily erased
Even tho I long to be

I sit and I wonder
If my supposed unexistance
Can explain everything away
Because maybe its the universes way
Of trying to correct its mistake

Are all the failed relationships
Simply because the universal pairs
Made between one person and another
Had never included me in the equation?

Is my upbringing full of abuse
And horrors beyond comprehension
Simply because you can't love
Something that wasn't meant to be
In existence?

Does my body fail me
Fall apart
And crumble more and more
Throughout every year that passes
Simply because I wasn't meant to be?

Is the reason that no supports
Can be accessed by me
And I can't get any help for me
Or my disabilities
Simply because the world wasn't built to house me?

Is my existence a universal
Quintessential
Quantum mistake?

One that will only be corrected
By my
Unexistance?

I believe the answer is yes
Because I am floating
Unbound
Through pain
And through hell
With no universal help

I was told
Time and time again
That theres no more reason to be scared
I can sleep in peace

But time and time again
Everyone who ever said
Those words to me
Got proved wrong
Along with me

So now I lay here and wish to do
Everything to flee
The capture of sleep