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Raven Dec 5
I scream into the empty space beyond
"I'M HERE"
But all I hear is my own scream echoed back

I scream out loud
But there is no sound
Except for my own echoes
In my head

Its dark
Empty
Cold
Crushing
And you're the darkness

You're the darkness and he let you back in
With his harsh words
And zero remorse or genuine conviction of care

You're all around me
You completely surrounded me
I can't run
I can't hide
For its endless
And I'm tired

You completely surrounded me
As I drown myself red
To add any colour to this dreadful dark
But it's so dark that nothing could hope to ever see
So the red flows black
Nothing but a feeling
Fleeting
Eating me alive

I scream
"PLEASE HELP I DON'T WANNA DROWN"
But all I hear is a soft voiceless echo
As my cries leave my mouth wordless
So all that can be heard
Is the silent echoes
As I'm swallowed
Now gone
Raven Dec 1
Walk with me into my brothers room
To where the cheap piano stood
Feel the scratchy carpet underneath your feet
And the keys under your fingers as you touch them gently
Remember your frustration that it lives in his room
And not yours
For you're the only person who touches its chords

Walk with me into the darkness outdoors
To where I walked the dog out among the stars
Feel your feet within the shoes you begged and cried for because boys shoes were cheaper
And the leash within your hand
The pain when he would tug and pull and the leash would drag and burn
Remember your anguish as you begged to walk him only once a day
Or maybe for less hours
For your ankle was broke and torn and walking left you powerless

Walk with me into my room
To where you had no door among little privacy
Feel your feet carry you across the hardwood floor
And your fingers grasping the standing closet door
Remember how unsafe you felt as you crawl inside
Lock yourself whithin its grasp as you beg for it to hold you safe some more
For this was your only private space
And you could lock it from indoors
Dec/1/2024
Raven Dec 1
I am yours
Even though I have escaped

I am yours
Because you still control my life

I am yours
Because youre always there in my mind

I am yours
Because somehow you place yourself in the other people around me

I am yours
Because she still tells you all about me

I am yours
Because you still know where I am and could 'visit' me any time

I am yours
Because you still hold power over me

I AM NOT YOURS
Yet you still control every aspect of who I'm trying to be
Nov/14/2024
Raven Dec 1
Place me back in time
Back there
Back where I was abused
And constantly used
Something used to vent your frustration

Place me back in time
Back there
Back where I was nothing more
And nothing less than
Something used for ****** gratification

Place me back in time
Back there
Back where I was manipulated
And nothing on my own
Something used to satisfy your needs

Place me back in time
Back there
Back where I was scared
And nothing but small
Something used to gratify your existence

Use me
Abuse me
Manipulate me
All for your own pleasure
Because its always about you (him)
And never about me
For why care for something that was created
Just to satisfy the needs of others
Who can't be satisfied by regular means
Nov/14/2024
Raven Dec 1
When you look into my eyes
I beg for you to see
The pain that I hide within
But all you see in my eyes
Is your own reflection

When you hear my voice
I beg for you to hear
The strain and break deep in the back
Of my throat
But all you hear
Is your own guilt in disguise

When you take my hand
I beg for you to feel
When I squeez it for a distraction
But all you feel
Is the pain in your own hand


When you kissed me
I begged for you to taste
My very being rotting away
But all you tasted
Was the taste of your own thoughts

When you layed next to me
I begged for you to smell
The fear I feel as my body withers
But all you smelled
Was your own putrid scent

When I cry
I beg for you to notice
The suffering in my tears
But all you notice
Is your own fears

I beg to feel seen by your five senses
But your five senses
Aren't focused on me
Aug/15/2024
Raven Dec 1
I'm tired of feeling so bad
That all I can do is cry
And clutch my chest
As hard as my hands will allow
Because I feel like I'm being ripped
To shreds

I'm tired of feeling so bad
That I feel the need to scream
Til I can't breath
Til I'm coughing and choking
On my own pain
And misery

I'm tired of feeling so bad
That its meltdown
After
Meltdown
Until my face is so swollen from the tears
That I don't recognize the mirror

I'm tired.
And I'm drowning
And you just withdraw your grasp
And turn the other way.
Aug/13/2024
Raven Dec 1
get out
Get out
GEt out
GET out
GET Out
GET OUt
GET OUT

I repeat it under my breath
And louder
And louder
In my head

But it doesnt matter
How many times
I repeat it
Or how loud
That I scream it

It wont do anything
When
YOU
KEEP
BRINGING
HIM HERE

Get away
From the house
Is all I can say
But it wont work
Because getting away
Is my job
And always will be

Your voice in my head
IT WONT LEAVE
Aslong as I hear
Your voice
Utter any words
In my vicinity

I cant get you
OUT
Because she keeps
BRINGING
YOU
BACK HERE

Please
Leave
LEave
LEAve
LEAVe
LEAVE
LEAVE!
LEAVE!!
LEAVE!!!

Or atleast
Let me
Die
Jul/30/2024
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