Every day my mind wonders the same way.
There are times when I can feel myself falling,
Wondering if you will be there to catch me…
But you are not. It seems you never are.
Funny that, considering all the times I caught you.
My arms are so strong, yet tired from all the times you fell,
From all the times I stood at the bottom to cushion your landing,
Yet you can’t even be bothered to at least try…
Not even once.

So here I am wondering, why am I falling?
Why are you not at the bottom of this dark and steep fall?
Whose arms are strong enough to cushion my landing?
The world has gone black.
Yet I’m still falling into this hole.
And you are still not there.

I have to laugh.
Oh, pity the fool who got ****** in to your world!
Oh, pity the fool who made sure to be there!

No, don’t pity me
DON’T YOU DARE.
You don’t deserve to pity me,
You don’t deserve to catch me.
You don’t deserve to be there.

You don’t see me.
Or, rather you do,
But only what you want to see.
All the questions,
The smiling faces
What do you want me to say?
I smile,
I nod my head.
That’s what you want to see right?
‘Yes someday’
‘Not just yet, but someday’
Seems sufficient enough to make you go away
For now, anyway…

You don’t see me.
You only see what I want you to see.
Strip me down,
Leave me standing naked
You couldn’t do that,
You wouldn’t do that.
Would you?
Would you?

You want me to bare my soul to you?
You’re not ready.
It’s not me, It’s you.
You’re not ready.
Realisation,
The realisation of your insensitivity.
Horrified,
That’s what you would be.
But don’t worry,
Naked or fully clothed
I will smile, I will nod
Because you don’t need to see me.
I see me.