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Ashley Griswold Jan 2015
I trudge through this swamp of broken dreams
Weighed down by chains and anchors of haunted memories
I look for my reflection but get nothing but rejection
I search hopelessly in the muddy waters of visions unseen

I'm so terrified, I can never win in life
Dragging me down, drowning me out
No one can hear me plead.

Drowning in this tar pit of the past untold
Inhaling toxic fumes, exhaling secretes, unfold
Struggling to escape the dripping jaws of death
As I stare into the abyss unknown.

I'm so terrified, I can never win in life
Dragging me down, drowning me out
No one can hear me plead.

I try to escape
But life's hooks are dug into me
So deeply
They drag me away
I will never see the light of day
Never, ever again.
Ashley Griswold Jan 2015
Cut
Lies, again today
Lies, to everyone I love
Smiles, everything is okay
I just need time to think
But my eyes say everything.

I can't breathe, I'm drowning
In this sea, of broken dreams
No ones there, to help me
Bring me back, to life
I can't breathe, I'm dying

Help, I have done it again
I, hurt, myself again today
Took, the pain out on myself
Hurt, to make the pain go away
Now, I sit here in shame
But the worst part is
That there is no one else to blame.

I can't breathe, I'm drowning
In this sea, of broken dreams
No ones there, to help me
Bring me back, to life
I can't breathe, I'm dying

Ouch, I have done it again
Hurt, myself again today
Hurt, to feel something, anything
Hurt, to make the pain go away
To feel a slight release, yes
To feel, the tension build in my chest
To be alive for just a few minutes
But then, the shame takes control
And I'm back in this hole

I can't breathe, I'm drowning
In this sea, of broken dreams
No ones there, to help me
Bring me back, to life
I can't breathe, I'm dying

Blood, runs down my arm
Around and over my scars
Hate for them forms a loving bond
A bond that no one can break
Now I, hide myself again
Hide the truth and who I really am
I, self destructive...
But, I, don't mean to hurt you
The one I care about most.
Ashley Griswold Dec 2014
I found the best piece of me
Alone, Shivering in the dark
(Three centimeters tall)
Hunched over, on all fours
Eating it's heart...
It's face was vacant
With dead eyes that flared like sparks
A silent tongue, so blatant
(I'll hear your confessions)
Body, skin and bones, covered in scars
It seemed somewhat impatient
For I just stood there in awe
Inept and perplexed
I stumble over, kneel down
And surrender, to it's impious words
(I forgive you)
Who will slay this thing?
Who will play the butcher?
And end my suffering?
(No)
You will not feast on me today
I will not be your backwards slave
(I won't, I won't)
This is not a threat
For I, I ****** the minds of the masses with the fingers of liberty
I've screamed for all the women I've never been but hoped I would be
I can't change, I can not change
Oh, how I've tried a million times
How I've endeavored to rise above my
Imperfections
Struggling, twisting myself within the vine
Of rejections
I'm not perfect, I'm not a beauty queen
I'm just me...I'm just me...
I'm proud of who I am
I am proud of me
I Just want someone who understands
( We're all prisoners here)
I just want someone who will listen
(All shapes and sizes)
To witness these dull eyes of mine glisten
(Forever chasing the sun)
To hear what I have to say
To tell me it's okay
To cry...
(If god is my father then I am an orphan)
I am afraid
To show my true feelings
(I can hear you judging me)
They're laughing at me
They wont go away
My reflection staring back
Like shattered pieces.

— The End —