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:)
Onyx Nov 6
:)
I offer you a smile

For you make my life

Feel worthwhile

Thank you for your care

Live on with flare
Onyx Sep 25
If I told you I’d seen the world fall apart
Or that I still had broken heart
Would you stay?
If I said the sky fell
And the oceans boiled away
Would you tell me everything's ok?
If I said that the earth split
And the mountains crumbled
Would you hold my hand?
If I said I’d be yours forever
Would you smile?
If I said I loved you
Would all the bad feelings go away?
Even if I’m scared of getting hurt
All I ever wanted was for you to be happy
I try to make you smile every day
Because as long as you want me I’ll stay
Onyx Oct 29
My voice never seems to be loud enough

To break through storm in your mind

I can never seem to get through to you

No matter how hard I try

Your breathing is sometimes so shaky

Like you're trying not to cry

Why don't you give me your burdens?

I'm here til the day you die
Onyx Sep 25
The sun rises
every morning

The flowers bloom
til noon

The wilting petals
float midair

The birds sing
melodic tunes

Children all play
many games

School takes up
8-hour days

All stories have
their ends

But first they
must begin
Onyx Nov 6
Sitting with my eyes closed

Trying to block out everyone

All of these people around me

Pressing my hands down

Shielding my ears from it all

Trying but to no avail

The sound still breaks through

And I hear what they say

Behind my back
Onyx Sep 26
"Hey, girl what's your name?" someone asked me.
I couldn't reply I just said um.
He thought it was funny and "Um"ed me all day.
I'm sitting here wondering why he called me this way.
Does my body decide my gender?
Or perhaps does he?
I'm called a girl for I was born one.
But that is not me.
I sit with my they/thems and my he/theys
Hoping no one will call me a girl today
BPD
Onyx Sep 25
BPD
Emotional, irratic, ironic, sarcastic.
Happy, sad, angry, happy, sad, angry, blank.
Rinse. Repeat. Start over. Feel it again.
Laugh, scream, smile, cry, stare out into space.
Fit in wonderfully, feel awfully out of place.
Cover your ears, block out the noise, I cant...
It's all in my head. I'm stuck in my head.
Onyx Oct 23
I want to be heard
But
I don't want to speak
And
I want to be remembered
But
I don't want to be different
And
I know I'm free
But
Sometimes I feel trapped
And
My head's not in the clouds
But
I stare at the sun
And
I don't want kids
But
I love toddlers
And
I want to be a teacher
But
I don't want to go to college
Onyx Oct 9
I have things I absolutely cannot do.
I swear it is not a lie but 100% true.

I cannot message strangers online.
Have caused trouble time after time.

I cannot be alone near fire.
Please don't ask why.

I can only watch certain shows.
Everything below TV14.

I can not walk around alone.
Need someone with me.
Onyx 4d
I was invited

To a Christian club meeting

Taking place on Thursday and Friday

A few years ago I would have been excited

But that excitement was quite fleeting

I stopped being Christian years ago

So I wonder if perhaps it would be bad

To go just for the pizza
Onyx Sep 25
I should come with a warning label
One to protect from certain doom
To keep things happy and clear
Putting all cards on the table
Warning: I'm scared of people
I rethink every message I send
Cant look at comments at poems
I stare at notifications for an hour
Constantly second guess myself
I'm scared to mess up so I hide
Feelings are better bottled inside.
Onyx Sep 24
In the quiet of the night,
I feel the warmth of your light,
A love that fills my heart and soul,
With every breath, we become whole.

Time moves slow, like a gentle breeze,
Moments wrapped in memories,
We stand beneath the stars so bright,
Your laughter dances, a sweet delight.

In this beautiful place, I see your eyes,
Reflecting the truth, where the universe lies.
Together we face the shadows and fears,
Holding on tight through laughter and tears.

The world may turn, the seasons change,
But in this dance, nothing feels strange.
With every step, we embrace the unknown,
Two souls intertwined, never alone.

As we walk the path, both rough and fine,
I know in my heart, you’re truly mine.
We’ll face the storms, the cold and the heat,
In the chaos of life, you make me complete.

So here’s to the years, both good and bad,
For every tear and every laugh we’ve had.
In the depths of our journey, I promise to stay,
Together, forever, come what may.

And when the night falls, as it sometimes will,
With you by my side, my heart will be still.
For in this life, with its highs and lows,
I find my peace in the love that grows.
Onyx Oct 15
In shadows deep where silence weeps,
Lost laughter lingers, and memory sleeps.
The moon, a ghost, casts pale, soft light,
Reminding us gently of a vanished night.

Each sigh a story, each tear a trace,
Whispers of joy in a haunted space.
Yet in the stillness, a flicker remains—
Sorrow and beauty entwined in chains.

Every voice in a unique timber,
None are quite the same.
Echoes filling the world—
Born simply to fade.
Onyx Oct 28
I don't count on happiness

Or expect perfection

The day comes and goes

With a shallow ache of rejection

I paste a smile on my face

Tell my parents I had a good day

Listen to loud music to hear the noise

Get stuck between the bathrooms for girls and boys

Questioning myself and my choices

Ignoring the whispers of condescending voices

I try to be helpful... Try to be good

I use my manners like any good kid should

I hide behind fake cheerfulness

And hide from the world with fantasy

Video games and anime consume my days

While I hide from the sun and its blinding rays

I spend so much time being someone else

That slowly but surely I lose myself
Onyx Oct 18
Why do I always feel

There are eyes on me

Ones I cant see

There are voices I hear

I'm so afraid

Of what they say

My subconscious conjures

The most grotesque pictures

It happens every single day

I can't calm down

I can't sit down

It's way too loud

Make it stop

Make them stop

Send me away

Put me away

A padded room

Where I should stay

I'm so afraid

Day to day

The voices I hear

Wish you knew what they say

I can't sleep

My soul, they want to reap

Get me out of this place

Away from my haunted brain
Onyx Nov 5
I refuse to cry

To show them that they've won

I refuse to show weakness

They do not deserve that satisfaction

My face will remain a blank mask

I will sit silently through the inner turmoil

And convince them that I'm fine

That they absolutely haven't hurt me at all
Onyx Sep 27
Someone said I talk too much.
Maybe they are right.

I speak about all of my thoughts.
And my feelings I write.

I write countless poems in simply a matter of days.
Endless thoughts and feelings surface.

My mind is truly nothing but a winding overgrown maze.
Every word I type is just a flower.

A simple flower growing upon the vine.
Neverending tendrils of words.

Straight from this chaotic mind of mine.
I hope it brings happiness.

If not happiness I hope that my words can bring something else.
Something that can be much harder to feel.

I hope my poems bring it to you.
May they bring you peace.
Onyx Nov 7
I accidentally missed breakfast

Because I was much too slow to wake

Then I accidentally missed lunch

Because there was time I didn't want to waste

So I will sit hoping dinner will be large

Because my hunger is enough to devour even

My very own plate but until then

I shall sit and wait
Onyx Oct 31
I listen to thoughtless plans

Falling from the mouths of

People with no personality

They want to marry at twenty

Have kids at twenty-one

With no understanding

Of the work to be done

Infants are not rocks

They need to be fed regularly

Some every two hours

Others less frequently

They may be fitful dreamers

And interrupt your sleep

Diapers can be expensive

Many need to be changed

Their cries can have different meanings

They need your attention most of the time

Marriages do not always work

Many lead to divorce which is difficult for children

Plans change and life cannot ever be controlled

So dear little girls, please..

Do not be fools
Onyx Oct 25
I try to be perfect

Wish to be praised

I offer friendship

Cry when we part ways

I do everything

Strive for attention

Want acceptance

From everyone

So why do I

Sit alone

I offer all my help

So why when I need you

Are you gone

I thought that we

Were

Friends
Onyx 1d
An acquaintance

Stopped to ask me

If perhaps someone

Such as I would be

Called a cannibal

For eating fruit loops

However dear reader

As fruity as I am I

Highly doubt I'm edible
I thought it was funny so I figured I'd tell you lol
Onyx Sep 25
What is gender?
Is it what you are born as?
What you choose to be?
Something that changes day by day?
Something you never quite have?
I believe it's everything and nothing.
An eternal spectrum thats meaning is everchanging.
Something that is interpreted differently by each person.
Gender's meaning is as wide and vast as an ocean.
Something that belongs to you and me. Be yourself no matter who or what that is.
Whether thats boy, girl, genderfluid, genderqueer, agender, or nonbinary like me.
Onyx Oct 28
Why am I happiest when it is loud?

Surrounded by fake friends that wont stick around

As opposed to in silence all by myself

Reflecting upon small moments in my day

Could it be because my happiness depends on others?

Or am I simply afraid that my mind will destroy that feeling?

Whatever the reason may be.....

I find that I am happy that you listen to me
Onyx Sep 25
I'm not sure why it happened or how
But I'm stuck here again
Caught up in the past thinking old thoughts
Feeling old feelings
Once again choking back tears
From bottled up emotions
I know I have you
I know you'll hold my hand
I know you'll never leave
But I can't stop crying right now
I feel sad without knowing a reason
And I'm trying very hard
To smile for you
But right now..
I can't
I'm sorry if that's disappointing
I'll try harder next time
Just please please please
Go easy on me today
Let me cry and offer comfort
Onyx Oct 23
I am
A person
I am
Not a doll
I am
Afraid to fall
I am
Not a bird
I am
Only so strong
I am
Kind of smart
I am
A beating heart
I am
Living here
I am
Used to fear
I am
Not weak
I am
Read top to bottom then bottom to top
Onyx Oct 25
I don't know what I'm doing

I can't stop writing

My fingers refuse to cease their movement

I have too many feelings

Too many thoughts

An idea building up

But I don't know how to shape it

I don't know how to treat it

To feed it

Is it an enemy?

I wish to defeat it

A lump is growing in my throat

My stomach is full of knots

I have too many issues

They're all pouring out

There's no holding back now

My thoughts are an ocean

There is no solid ground
Onyx Oct 8
People ask me my type to decide who I am
They say sexuality determines identity

However, I believe that who I like isn't what I am
I am pan but that isn't my entire life

That would be like saying I'm a girl because of what I wear
Though I wear a lot of strange things

People tend to make assumptions based on who a person is
I believe you should get to know them

Start by saying hi and go from there
Maybe make a friend

It really is simply that simple
So do not assume
Onyx Oct 15
Why do you like me?

I am broken

Unfixable

My blood is cold

My tears have dried

Every ounce of my soul is gone

My heart has nearly died

I am tired of failing

Of being left behind

I wish to disappear

My mind is broken

Half the time

I am scared

To be free

I want to move out

But I don't want to be me

I'm terrified of living

A fake me is who they see

I write of darkness

Speak of trauma

So then

Why on earth are you following me?
Onyx Sep 30
I’m weary, tired, shadows near,  
But like the song, I’ll persevere.  
Sick of the struggle, longing for peace,  
Yet I’m still standing, my heart won’t cease.  

Though feeling done, there’s still a spark,  
You know I’ll rise, igniting the dark.  
With every challenge, I’ll find my way,  
Just like the lyrics, I’ll seize the day.
made to read while listening to I'm Still Standing lol
Onyx Sep 27
Invisible without a coat of unnatural powders on my skin
Strolling unnoticed through crowds in big hoodies
Hot days ruin my usual calm and the outfit is swapped
Exchanged for a simple skirt and shirt
I do up my face to hide my discomfort with my clothing
Eyes linger on me much longer than necessary
Constant glances from women and men
I know when I'm home I'll wash and in an instant
I will simply disappear again
For in my most comfortable, I have found
I am invisible
I hate makeup
Onyx Nov 6
I want connections

But feel better off simply hiding

Sitting alone in the dark depths

Of my closet back at home


I want attention

But feel better off without strangers

Eyes resting on me at all times

I'll hide on the inside
Onyx 1d
I wonder how life would be

If I still remembered who I was

I wonder if I would be happier

If I hadn't lost myself to

Other's expectations

I wonder what I would see

If my mind was able to dream

I wonder what would happen

If I was reborn as a bird

Would I be 100% free?
Onyx Sep 23
A thoughtfulness may come from simply sitting still
Silence, noise, darkness, light… Endless changes
Endless thrill… Sitting still… Being real…
Real.. Standing in remembrance that you are real
Grab a book and flip through the pages… Learn.
Actually absorb the information placed in your hands.
Expand your vocabulary and further your beliefs.
Be able to truely, thoroughly overpower others by actually knowing.
Know the cause of true evil and the names and dates of the people.
Turn back through time and live through history.
The real history and not the one taught to us in school.
Read the books banned by the school board.
Learn the things that no one has ever bothered to teach.
Become successful and thrive. Thrive! Thrive!
Prove everyone who has always told you off wrong.
The world may be cruel but you can live.
Living is one of the bravest things that someone who is afraid could truely do.
Live, sit, breathe, think, remember, learn, thrive, develop, teach, and be real.
Onyx Sep 25
A thoughtfulness may come from simply sitting still,
But stillness can echo with a haunting chill.
Silence, noise, darkness, light… Endless changes,
Endless thrill… yet beneath it, sorrow arranges.
Sitting still… being real… in a world that feels unreal.
Each heartbeat a reminder of the wounds we conceal.

Grab a book and flip through the pages, but know,
The weight of knowledge carries a burden of woe.
Absorb the truths that fracture your heart,
Expand your vocabulary, but feel the world fall apart.
Overpower others with the knowledge you wield,
Yet realize that knowing can leave you unhealed.

Know the cause of true evil, the names and the dates,
Each lesson learned carved deeper your fates.
Turn back through time and feel every loss,
The voices of the fallen, the shadows they toss.
Read the books banned, the truths long suppressed,
Unravel the fabric of a past, unaddressed.

You strive to be successful, to thrive in despair,
But each victory reminds you of those who don’t care.
Prove everyone wrong, but at what cost to your soul?
In a world so cruel, do you ever feel whole?
Living is brave, yet a lonely endeavor,
A battle fought daily, with no promise of ever.

Live, sit, breathe, think, remember, learn,
In the ashes of hope, watch the embers still burn.
Thrive, develop, teach, and be real,
Yet the ache of existence can make it hard to feel.
The world may be waiting, but you’re still adrift,
In the silence that lingers, find the heart’s rift.

Sitting still in the shadows, your mind takes flight,
In the depths of the darkness, you search for the light.
But sometimes the light only casts deeper the night,
And the weight of your thoughts pulls you further from sight.
Onyx 2d
One of my exes has

Chosen to tell everyone

That is the reason we had ended

Was as simply because I was gay

However, he himself is bi and

I happen to be pan

The truth behind the end

Stands as follows

He was a cheat

And I walked away

I chose not to even

Deal with pointless sorrows

I will not even crumble

He will be the only who weeps

For his lies have fueled my rage

My rage has fueled his downfall

And I hate him most of all
Onyx Oct 29
I can't remember your name anymore.

Your face has been lost in my mind.

I think we were friends once.

You've been gone for a long time.

Were you real or imaginary?

A voice inside my head?

I can't seem to find your face.

Deep inside my mind.

I have a feeling you were important.

Whether you were real or not.

Where did you go?

How far away?

I suppose those are things.

I will never know.
Onyx 2d
Tell me answers

To all of life's hardships

Because I am lost

Hold back my hair

As I choke out false answers

And flush them away

Teach me how to be happy

Instead of a ball of stress

Because all is not as it seems

The twists and turns of

This sense of false security

Is a maze that attempts

To take away my mind
ME
Onyx Oct 25
ME
I can't look up

My eyes are glued to the ground

I stand taller just to be pushed down

Always smile and never frown

Don't let them see they won over me

Just be quiet and obedient

And get home free

Who cares if they're younger

I know they're stronger

At least they tolerate me

So I'll keep my head down

Never let them see

What they do to me

I'll keep my voice in

They want my food

So I'll let them take it

Those boys...

They're so much bigger than

ME
Onyx Sep 27
Your face haunts my dreams
I hear your voice saying my name
I used to love hearing it but it's twisted now
You are gone but in my mind
Memories fade and change with time
I remember you cared
I have forgotten why because I know
I know the truth that you left me alone to cry
I'm done fighting the past
Finished reliving all of my mistakes
I don't even miss you anymore it's been too long
I see you every day walking in the halls
Heard you had a girlfriend now but I really don't care
It's been a year since we ended
You still give me your hat and play cards with me
The only fight I can beat you at
Poker and Blackjack
Onyx Sep 25
I'm in the dark
Sometimes I'm ok
I never feel anything
My emotions are fake
I copy others expressions
I cry without reason
Smiles are real now
I hide my laugh from view
I'm not scared of the dark
I sleep with a light
I listen to music to relax
It doesn't block out the sounds of night
My mind is contradictory
My thoughts don't feel like mine
I think I'm losing my mind
The shadows say I'm fine
Onyx Oct 7
My mind is broken

No longer thinking me or I

My brain says we

I see things sometimes

Might need to get some sleep

I've heard sounds before

I should see a shrink

I swear I saw a ******* bird

It slammed right into my window

One would think there'd be a scratch

My window is spotless

Sometimes my light flickers

Maybe it's just my eyes

I think I'm lost

I'm losing my mind

Getting pulled in

Soon to be trapped inside

People stare at me

I desperately want to hide
Onyx Sep 27
Parfois, j'ai tellement peur.
J'essaie de me cacher dans ma chambre.
Recroquevillée sur moi-même, les yeux fermés.
J'essaie de me cacher de mes peurs et de ma douleur.
Le monstre ne se cache pas dans mon placard.
Il n'est pas sous mon lit.
Il est à l'intérieur de mon cerveau, caché au plus profond.
Il est le fruit de mon imagination.
Il me laisse terrifié.
La cause de tous mes cauchemars.
Un monstre qui semble bien réel.
Je perds peu à peu le fil de ma réalité.
J'ai du mal à réfléchir.
Je vais me débarrasser de mes peurs.
Avec l'eau de l'évier.

(Sometimes I get so scared.
I try to hide in my room.
Curled up, eyes closed.
I try to hide from my fears and my pain.
The monster isn't hiding in my closet.
It's not under my bed.
It's inside my brain, hidden deep inside.
He's a figment of my imagination.
It leaves me terrified.
The cause of all my nightmares.
A monster that seems very real.
I'm gradually losing touch with reality.
It's hard to think.
I'm going to get rid of my fears.
With water from the sink.)
hello poetry meet my fav languages today lol
Onyx Sep 30
Wake up in the morning before my alarm
Get dressed and sit in silence
Wait til I hear a sound from the other rooms
Go to wash my face, brush my teeth
Walk down the stairs fully prepared to leave
Get to work for just an hour
When the bell rings it's time for me to run
School has started, hell has begun
my morning 6 am to 8:30 am
Onyx Oct 18
My brain is a twisted web,
A tangled mess of thoughts,
I don't even know all that’s in there—
Sometimes it feels like I’m going insane.

Never have I been more afraid,
Self-loathing hits an all-time high;
I can't decide whether to cry
Or let go entirely, wishing to die.
Onyx Oct 31
For those who wonder

What my costume may be

On this lovely Halloween day

It has changed many times

Until I finally came to decide

I am the most realistic thing

That someone of my standing

And my personality may be

So for today, I have dressed as

What I see myself to be

Today I am a dead poet

Do you not see how well it fits

For someone as strange as me

So happy Halloween, my dear

Have all happiness and no fear

Everything is just pretend

Built for your enjoyment
Onyx Oct 25
Plug in my headphones

Put my volume on max

Drown all the voices out

I did what I needed to

So now I might as well

Listen to my rock

Up until the bell

People call me old-fashioned

Just because my music isn't new

But 90's and 2000's punk rock

Treats me just fine

So their opinions can wait

Until next time
Onyx Oct 25
You grab my hands in yours

Reminding me I'm special

You slip bracelets on my wrists

Reminding me you're here

You paint my nails black

Reminding me that you care

You spray me with your cologne

A good luck charm for my test

I pass with flying colors

And love you more than the rest

My friend, you are so special

I want to keep you close

If I lost you as well

It would hurt more than most

Please stay my friend forever
Onyx Oct 7
I have a stuffed Raccoon

I call him Poe to myself

Though when people ask his name

I must introduce him properly

For to strangers he shall be called his proper name

I have a stuffed raccoon

One who sleeps by my pillow at night

Named after a poet

One of my favorite poets in fact

So since to him you are all strangers

I shall now introduce him properly

My silly raccoon plushie

Who wears a blue bow

His name is Poe

Edgar Allen Poe
Onyx Oct 24
All too soon

Your time is up

If he sees you

Play a merry tune

The piper

Standing there

Around the corner

Take a look

Are you looking?

There's a mystery

Trouble's cooking

Hold your breath

Can you hear that?

It's on it's way

Here come's death.
Onyx Nov 6
I feel exposed

Absolutely defenseless

These judgmental people

And their rumors that cut

Straight through to my core

I sit silently hoping that maybe

They'll stop but they all seem to

Think I'm begging for more
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