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113 · Feb 2021
Santa
Exosphere Feb 2021
when my son was little
I told him right away
there is no Santa
he didn’t believe me
just like her when I said
you aren’t real
my son, at least, grew out of it
113 · Mar 2021
dreams
Exosphere Mar 2021
the screams in my dreams
are not nightmares
though there is a monster
113 · Jun 2023
ragged hope
Exosphere Jun 2023
I love with a ragged hope
that he will come to me
while trying to go on with my life
in a happy way
112 · Jul 2023
giving
Exosphere Jul 2023
be happy
be healthy
be safe
be free

I will be here
still
waiting for someone
who wants to want
and need
and love
me
112 · Jul 2023
lunch time
Exosphere Jul 2023
I’m under the sun’s sweltering microscope
a single bead of sweat slips between my *******
the wind intervenes on my behalf  
swaying with my pretty dress
I appreciate the cherry red vintage firebird to my left
the enormous bursting Christmas white hydrangeas to my right
it’s a short walk
past stately buildings and old trees
people scattered on benches and lawns
or meandering past with their own brown bags
it’s a beautiful day
in my sleepy capital
112 · Mar 2023
paparazzi
Exosphere Mar 2023
the moon was hiding in plain site
well, half of her was
she was staring down unabashedly at me in broad daylight!
I knew I was being watched!
112 · Mar 2021
teaser
Exosphere Mar 2021
the waves are crashing
I am a happy pleaser
the season is glorious
I am a beautiful brain teaser
112 · Feb 2021
Faith
Exosphere Feb 2021
strange but I was jealous of your Italian girl
even though you don’t care for her at all
are in fact, quite heartless towards her

but I am not jealous of Faith
he loves her
not me
there’s nothing for me to lose
111 · Apr 2021
I’m in love with you
Exosphere Apr 2021
I’m in love with you
so
I hope you like me
111 · Jul 2023
communication
Exosphere Jul 2023
while words hold a great deal of fascination
from the heart, much is lost in translation
Exosphere Jan 2021
It’s just
I can’t do anything from here
111 · Mar 2023
Untitled
Exosphere Mar 2023
every time you write you say something senseless or cruel
so don’t write
don’t think
speak
or forget me forever
just forget me forever
111 · Jan 2021
coincidence
Exosphere Jan 2021
I felt the same
when you were gone for so long
I got used to it,
was disturbed when you reappeared
I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have followed you
it’s just, we were going the same way
111 · Jan 2021
copy cat
Exosphere Jan 2021
before being observed
(and subsequently destroyed)
the cat was teleported to an array of galaxies
and times
thereby seeding the universe
with his own special brand
of ambiguity
111 · Apr 2021
swirling eternities
Exosphere Apr 2021
I met Neal in my early 20’s
he was a professional musician
who I managed to impress with my musical taste.
We talked about the past life we shared in France
I was a young catholic priest
who died of bubonic plague
laying in my own open coffin, waiting to be closed,
in the dark basement arches of a French cathedral.
I knew him as a young woman
who lived in the countryside with her father.
Though my dying thoughts were of her
standing on the hill in front of their cottage,
the karmic association was fleeting.

I was not attracted to Neal,
though he looked very much like you.
We only kissed good night once.
But sometimes our eternities swirl
around the same vortices,
patterns we barely notice
coincidences, surely
...and yet
111 · Jul 2023
reward
Exosphere Jul 2023
the path to your heart
I know
is through a dark wood
the path is guided, though
by gentle fairies
masquerading as song birds
and the serendipitous wisdom of flowers
there is magic all around us
and in our hearts
though we walk blindly
with reckless trust and nameless hope
we are rewarded
finally
111 · Mar 2021
halfway
Exosphere Mar 2021
I’m only halfway back
it’s ok, it’s a meaningful journey
and I’m feeling optimistic
110 · Mar 2021
gun point
Exosphere Mar 2021
I held myself at gun point
and gave in to all my demands
110 · Apr 2021
Not A Dating Site
Exosphere Apr 2021
hello poetry should change its name to
Not A Dating Site
there are lots of other sites for that
and they work pretty well
in my experience
110 · Mar 2021
sorry oranges
Exosphere Mar 2021
when we choose the apples
instead of the oranges
do the oranges shout—
it’s your loss!!
no, because oranges can’t talk
but also
we didn’t want the oranges!
it’s true we may get less vitamin C
but perhaps
what we really needed
was fiber
I’m nobody’s loss
and that’s fine by me
110 · Apr 2021
cold
Exosphere Apr 2021
the day is cold
very cold
it will not get warm
but my heart makes up for all those types of things
110 · Apr 2021
grand scheme
Exosphere Apr 2021
our interactions have become meaningless
in an irrelevant way
which is very compatible with my happiness
but there’s still hope for you in the grand scheme of things
I’m sure of it
109 · Jul 2023
credit where credit is due
Exosphere Jul 2023
I’ve revisited some of my past offerings
I’ve given you
a breathtaking display
of devotion
and lust
there is no denying this

I expect you have appreciated it
I’m just saying
I see it too
109 · Mar 2021
want, care, love, you, etc.
Exosphere Mar 2021
I don’t know what you hoped to accomplish
at any given point
what reality you were trying to create for me
why you didn’t trust me
or tell me the truth
all I know is:
it’s very hard to lie to me,
for reasons previously discussed;
it’s been very painful;
I think you’re still... somewhere;
and I hate how elated that makes me feel
109 · Apr 2021
if you ever did
Exosphere Apr 2021
I needed you then
I needed help
a smile
a hug
I needed your willingness
to be there for me
but I’ve got through it alone
just
don’t bother
if you ever did
109 · Mar 2021
no looking back
Exosphere Mar 2021
the solar system is spiraling
towards a new constellation
creating new wonders
109 · Feb 2021
mostly
Exosphere Feb 2021
I think it’s a positive development
that these days when I’m thinking
“idiot”
I’m mostly thinking you
and not me
109 · Apr 2021
come back
Exosphere Apr 2021
I am so sorry
I am so sad
come back
dear sociopath lover
I live for you
truly
all the feelings I have
revolve around you
even if you are a lying
psychotic
*******

and isn’t that what counts?
109 · Jun 2023
german phone number
Exosphere Jun 2023
I’m much too intoxicated to write this poem
the title is all I know
not any associated sentiment
what does it even mean?!?
surely
nothing
109 · Jun 2023
I love you
Exosphere Jun 2023
I can see
just now
this very moment
how you would think me a liar

because I remember that night
(so long ago)
when you complained
I look so young
(like, jealously)

and I said—

you look young too…

but you called me a liar

you called me a liar
but it was true
it was true and I believed it
but you couldn’t

it’s just like when I tell you
—I love you—
109 · Jan 2021
Dogs
Exosphere Jan 2021
dogs are nice
dogs are fun
they like to chew and *** and run
dogs are sweet
you know it’s true
the only thing better

is a person who loves you and who you love and you don’t want to ****** each other and you make each other laugh and have great *** and do cool stuff together and they think your kid is awesome and you think their kid is awesome and you live happily ever after and also you have antigravity boots
109 · Jan 2021
commas
Exosphere Jan 2021
commas are graphic
three dimensional bullies
so opinionated
we should put them in their place
108 · Mar 2021
Frogadier
Exosphere Mar 2021
my son caught a Froakie
hallelujah
I can stop taking him to every water body in a five mile radius
(for a while)
but now I have to battle the evolved frog warrior
and I can tell you
I’m done for
when he gets to Greninja
108 · Jan 2021
exosphere
Exosphere Jan 2021
the exosphere
is the last bit of matter
the gravity can hold onto
before slipping out into space
alone
it’s the thinnest skin
separating one world
from the void between worlds
it feels like pins and needles
when interplanetary molecules are trapped
and celestial molecules break free
it feels like freedom and death
it feels like waking up
108 · Mar 2021
blindfolded
Exosphere Mar 2021
where are you
besides in my mind?
what are you doing
besides tormenting me?
when will your hands
touch me?
how will I know
it’s you?
108 · Apr 2021
leap frog
Exosphere Apr 2021
I would like to be on a page with you
we would let our letters loose
to leap frog over each other
into words and phrases
that make sense
108 · Mar 2023
pretty straws
Exosphere Mar 2023
I have all these straws
colorful pretty glass straws
delicate and lovely and sustainable
I like to organize and admire them

I wonder which is the last
108 · Jul 2023
seemingly so simple
Exosphere Jul 2023
I’m not sure you can put me all together
in your mind

I know I can’t put you

but I love all the pieces

even if I can’t understand yet

the whole
108 · Apr 2021
gorgeous
Exosphere Apr 2021
it’s a gorgeous day
my heart is full of Red Bull
I am cracking my wrists
I am cracking my neck
I am flexing my muscles
(which can be seen for miles)
I am feeling like the day
107 · Jul 2023
sometimes a love poem
Exosphere Jul 2023
be careful poets
sometimes a love poem can turn into a ******
or a burlap bag of puppies at the bottom of a lake
sometimes a love poem can wrap its fingers around your throat and squeeze until you can’t speak
be careful I say

it can happen
especially if you’re out of practice
107 · Feb 2021
trust
Exosphere Feb 2021
trust is only as valuable
as the life you’re trying to preserve
107 · Jan 2021
forget it
Exosphere Jan 2021
things are great now
we’re going to live happily ever after
so you can just forget it
107 · Jan 2021
ever so faintly
Exosphere Jan 2021
I realized the other day, I always wash that arm first
with the scrubby
trying to exfoliate the scars away
it’s worked
you can barely see anything there
except when my skin gets hot and wet
and turns pink in the shower
then, ever so faintly
the spidery red lines can be seen
like the disintegrating roots
of some old dead tree
107 · Apr 2021
broken record
Exosphere Apr 2021
I’ve been breaking records my whole life
but I’m not talking about me this time
106 · Apr 2021
ok good
Exosphere Apr 2021
it’s time for our annual conversation
I still love you
do you still love me?
106 · Feb 2021
old friends
Exosphere Feb 2021
I’m much better now
so much better
this here
is my regular amount of malaise
not some special extraordinary kind of misery
laced with longing and anxiety
no, this regular run of the mill depression
I’m quite comfortable with
we’re old friends
we’ve been here for each other
a long time
we know each other’s ins and outs
strengths and weaknesses
I’m perfectly safe here
content even
with it
and not you
106 · Apr 2021
cold irony
Exosphere Apr 2021
the cold irony of your words when you think you are talking about love is endearing
but sometimes I feel sad for you
106 · Feb 2023
dear galactic mind
Exosphere Feb 2023
the storm of pain blows easily away
a simple prayer for healing
and an open heart  
but when the clouds clear
the sun appears singing of your face
the light is filled with you
as was the empty darkness

it’s confusing to pray for release
when happy and sad are the same thing
what does healing look like?
maybe loving you
but letting you go anyway
dear galactic mind
what is acceptance?
106 · Mar 2021
with you
Exosphere Mar 2021
I like other planets
I can be imaginary anywhere
and I would like a vacation
105 · Apr 2021
celestial voices
Exosphere Apr 2021
I’m hearing a tone
it’s emanating from the molecules that make up my brain
resonating all around me
a gentle synthesized chord
it’s really beautiful and feels amazing
or it could be a tumor
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