I stopped rescuing the past the day I stood up and fought back.
I faced raging men with fists in my face, red swollen eyeballs up against mine, spraying vile spittle from foaming mouths, hands began tearing~thrown against walls, flipped on the floor or down upon my desk, glass vase smashing~barely missed my head.
But, suddenly there comes a moment of sheer Survival, followed by a Rage of Seven Hells, an imbalance of Justice stormed through my Cells, razed up my Body~I changed to a Beast, the violence be got me, a War was unleashed.

My fists flew like lightening, I stabbed with bamboo sticks sharpened like spears, shot with a rifle,  but no..not at deer.
Swung my pistol against the side of his head, bust it wide open, spilling blood shed.
No I didn't **** him~ but broke him instead.

None of these things ever happened just once, many a details I'll leave out~it's done. But what I have shared paints a clue to the Source~fed fuel through a history~display of my Force.

I've escaped with my Life, my Dignity intact, a Self Respect that's stronger than smack.
A Warrior Soul with Courage galor, but no..I don't have to fight anymore.

Instead what's in place is a Calm so Serene that's harbored within once I destroyed the machine.
I stand up for Honor, Justice, Respect.
I abhor selfish liars and ghoulish thugs that prey on Innocence~I've had enough.

I Stand for a Cause to be True to the Heart~
Be good to your neighbor, go back to the Start.
Fix what is broken, the Lost must be Found~
the Cracked Foundations torn to the ground.

Build it back better~the Way it should have been from the beginning.

Use the Strength from a messed up past and Live out loud, Smile and be Proud~
If you made it through~I honor You.

I want you to be my forest fire.
A natural disaster to incinerate the tall standing regrets of my past. Casting the darkness over the people I've taken advantage of and things I'' never admit to be true.
Expose my shadows.

Cleanse the dirt I have trampled upon.
Lake Tanner, I'm sorry. Mom, I'm sorry.
People whose footsteps molded my heart into a perfect sandcastle bomb waiting for high tide.
Renew my inners.

Heat up these lungs so I an no longer speak.
Burn memories into my throat,
That way my heart understand a new beginning.
Building empires of renewed crowns in my smile.
Exhaust my lies.

Let me regrow into something pure.
Away from the broken forest of my past.
Exposure into something more than myself.
Water my roots,
Watch me take flight from this earth.

All you have to do is be a man.
These words bled through my veins with disgust.

A man he said, does not smile
The flat line of his lips laid across the lower half of his face and read empty.
Shocked I was, when he told me that a man does not find joy in little things.
The leather skin palms that have seen more death than life.

A man he said, does not clean
A brain in his head, full of reasons why he can never show affection.
My arms wanting to do nothing more than wrap them around him.
Love may not be the answer to everything

A man he said, will never back down
His eyes burned, when I backed down
The ocean between will never be filled.
May the waves of tomorrow be ever calm.

As our callused palms met in between the peace treaty we signed in our heads,
The muscles in his face relaxed.
Not one more word was said.
His presence stands over me like an angry sun.

Burnt and shriveled.
I shall return home.

Be the Mood
you'd like those around you to feel.

She had all the bases covered.
A star shining on each hip,
red hearts on each lip,
a tear under one eye,
rings on her toes
& a half moon
under each nip,
hardened
as I sipped
from her cup.