But one of the times,
the lake
s w allo w e d us when we’d been
reckless, swore too hard, acted out, it
gobbled
us
up with its ‘YOU’s and its ‘CEDE’s
!
On cursed days,
I wake up
!!
I caught a glimpse of your face as we drowned,
nacreous skin over your willow tree bones, you,
weren’t looking at me, you
may have been dead
!!!
Still, you ossificate as you rust
and spill at me with unintentional toxins,
continue to quote Bradbury, self-comatize with rain-
tainted sunsets and suffocating darknesses
!!!!
Of course it’s unjust
That I must adhere to these chains of flesh,
marinate in my own foamed misdoings
!!!!!
*******
!!!!!!
I will be whole again
I will be whole again
I will be whole again

faith grows
in me a sparrow
climbing higher sometimes
only sometimes, I try to catch it
know it will get hurt, not another broken wing
but I cant
seem to reach
too high in the sky.

someone gave me
a present the other day
I trust him with my life, it tasted
like the weeds in my garden
It made me giggle, forget
then I got
lost more

sometimes I like
to sit and listen, tip my ear
to the pools of fae, they climb in
I like watching people in city buses
I like their faces
when they cant find
their purse, I pick it up
from the ground
for them

when smiles dare
to  pass shadow upon
my lips you can guess how many
cells get crushed, nucleus gone
why do brain cells
die when
I dance

love poems
make me so sad
like theres nothing else to live for
there has to be something besides
pouring hearts down
drains, cant be good
cant be healthy

most days
when I try to touch
the rainbow with my tongue
I cant reach, not quite, so I spit
im quite good

your face
makes me cry when
she touches you, the cloudiness
in your eyes is replaced, with her reflection
lips moving, in time with her fingers
if I died every time
you looked away
id still be
alive

in          the
midst of all
this    numb
wandering
i   begin   to
see       with
clarity
the
sunrise
neighboring
the      duller
stars  i   may
have     once
prayed    on.

run-smooth leather
these passenger seats bare
never hides truly these
run-down ambitions

once I
asked why
he insisted on
becoming someone
else with his drugs and his
gangs and he told me that he was
one with water and that it flowed
in him because why not the
summers are only so
long what is
there to
lose
'me' I said
you maybe left
me a ways back when
we were crossing the desert
and you saw a lake shimmer with
golden glaciers you promised but its not
that I care about I want to ride in your car as
you race to the finish base of the sphinx so maybe
ill join you on your bet with the devil as long as we're
together right?

today i
didn't
cut my
leg ab
ove the
knee be
low the
hip bec
ause  i
didn' t
want yo
u to ask
w h e n
we have
***
and you
watch
me get
dressed
after.

if I were real
id feel the air rush
down into my lungs and throughout
and down my veins, into my pounding heart because
I guess that's what real people do in their free time

i want to say i  love  you so bad
i   feel   the   words         catch         in        my         throat
every            time           you     say goodbye     .
feel my fingers start to reach out to pull you back again
but if I did I would    m    e     l     t

it would be easier
if       you     just       said       it               first