Even now, one needs to go through hell
For even the slightest social interaction.

Guess that's why it's called "hello".

But it's just some spell,
I'm sure of it.

It's not like I face this every day.

No, indeed,
I am DEFINITELY

Not falling to pieces as we speak.

"I'm fine."

Because, seeing your face...
I remember all the god times,

Not wonder what I did wrong,
What we did wrong.

I swear to you,
I HONESTLY couldn't care less.

You don't love Me,
You never did.

"I don't love you," either.

Why should I?

Why should I cry over You,
Every Night and Every Day?

Why can't I just learn to be...

I've been looking through my memories,
Trying to recover that tenderness
That was somehow stolen from me.

All my life I've been a saint,
You'll think I'm lying.
Of course I am.

In reality, I'm a demon.
No-one has ever been able to look at me
And tell me otherwise.

So where did that love go?
In a hundred years, even a thousand,
Would anything ever change?

So, I ask of you,
Of anyone willing to hear;
Should I keep on searching?

For a while now,
I've been thinking
Of what is to come.

I haven't been scared.

I can now say that
I accept my death,
That I will die.

But is that a good thing?

I have sacrificed
In order to live,
In order to die.

Should I be afraid?

For a while now, I've known.
My body growing sicker
With each passing day.

My mind dying with it.

I have already faced
The problems of age,
Even when I already know

That they've just begun.

My final question;
When I take my last breath,
When I am thrown into the ground,

Will you still remember me?

Why does it always have to be my fault?

Is that horrible silence
The only part of you that I can remember?

I tried, but...
I don't think it's for the best.

Staying with you-
All I ever wanted.

You gave me everything.
But it was all a lie.

I told you I loved you.
You never did the same.

Every day, every night.
I thought about you.

That we loved each other,
That we could be together.

I truly believed.
For a few, short moments.

I pour my heart and soul out,
Into you

My one and only guiding light,
My hopes and dreams residing.

Here, I suppose,
I am no longer bound.

Or at least, it was a fantasy,
One which I'd hoped you'd fulfill.

I needed you, then.

I poured my heart and soul out,
Hoping you'd accept

All the little flaws I kept hidden,
The scars that would never heal.

But you weren't capable.

Who could love the parts of me
That I can't even begin to accept?

So, I suppose...

You were just another one
Of those countless knives

That cut me down to my core.

That killed the fragile, dying ember inside of me.

Explosive rage,
Uncontrollable anger.

Directed at you,
Or just myself?

I hate you,
Always putting me down.

I hate myself,
Constantly craving your approval.

Your love,
Which I seldom receive.

I hate the part of me
That begs for forgiveness,

The part of me
That will always just be human.

Nothing more,
Nothing more.

Tears run down my face.
I cry, hidden in my room.

Am I just being
Melodramatic?

You scream at me,
I am never good enough.

I already know.
Can't you see that?

The bitter moment of silence,
Long enough to last a lifetime.

For days, I refuse to speak.
Until I learn to love the human part of me.

Once again.