I wish I could go back in time,
When I didn't need all this.

I wish I live without my phone,
Addicted to the empty feeling,

Giving me love in the form of "likes"
Where my family couldn't.

I wish I could live without
All these things I never needed

But now so desperately
Desire.

I wish I didn't meet you,
Because I wouldn't be empty.

I wouldn't know what it's like to live
Without you, after losing you so many times.

I wish I didn't have to cry out,
Writing my heartbreak feverishly.

So mad, so tearfully mad,
Ripping my mind apart.

My heart torn into pieces,
Like the verses of our story.

You forgot,
Again.
I know.

I just wish-
Just once-
You wouldn't.

I no longer
Want to be left behind
To eat your dust.

It's not your fault,
I guess.
It's probably mine.

I build things up
In my head,
An unshakable vision.

I create what I want.
Not what
Everybody else sees.

What would you say
If you could see me now?

Losing my mind to a boy,
Who doesn't even exist?

Dead long ago
In that cold winter storm;

Blood on ice,
A horrible sight to behold.

My dear brother,
I once loved you.

Now I cry over you,
A faint echo of a memory.

The stark contrast
Of black and blue.

Constantly waiting for the chorus,
The encore, the silence.

Words mix together;
I cannot see.

Madness encircling me,
I am left blind as the tempo builds up.

Noises form a symphony,
A bitter cacophony of pain.

Where there is silence,
There is noise.

Shattering me to my core,
Rattling in my bones.

Until, once again,
I become silent.

If you saw all the blank pages
I tried to write,

The empty drafts
Without words,

You'd realize I'm not perfect?

So why must you insist that I am?

Why am I held to such a high expectation,
Where anything less than perfection is wrong?

Where I'm wrong?

And, more importantly,
Could I ever be enough for you?

Could I ever be something more,
Anything more, than a "failure" ?

I ask, May I Come In?

You reply, Who's There?

It's just me,
And my pessimistic thoughts.

I know you might not want me here.

In fact, I don't want me.

But your voice is of someone I can trust,
And right now, I need to feel loved.

"Are The Voices In Your Head Acting Up Again?"

A simple question, easy enough.
But I do not want to answer.

Eventually, I say "Yeah",
And I can already see you cry.

And for some reason, so do I.

After many years of thought,
I reached a conclusion.

My life has no meaning.

I have no reason for my existence,
No idea what to do with it.

But at least I'm not lying to myself.

The world full of distractions,
Hiding the fact that death inches ever closer

With every move we make.

Some might find meaning in helping others,
But you can help others if you can't help yourself.

Maybe I should die.

That's the point of it all, isn't it?
To suffer?

Everything dies out, eventually.

Even the universe,
The never-ending flow of time.

The only reason to live is to suffer.

And everything in between that
Is boring.