On the mend,
I am growing.
Healing, little by little.

Then - a sudden break.
Once again, I am covered in blood,
But this time it's not mine.

It's yours, my darling.

Oh, what have I done?

I thought about my greatest work,
My "magnum opus" of life.

I found that it was myself,
And the various masks I wore.

See, I am the mistress of disguise,
Always hidden; never seen.

I suppose the greatest thing
I have ever done...

Is perfect the art
Of wearing this smile.

I want my words to linger on,
At least for a little while longer.

I want some past reflection of myself
When no one can hear these silent screams.

I have evolved, yes,
But perhaps not in a good way.

So when I am gone, I ask you,
What will you think of me?

Will I become a ghost,
Lost forever in your memories?

Or will you still call me a coward,
To bring the end upon myself?

But the only thing I can do now
Is think of what I have to say.

To choose what to leave behind,
As I eventually fade from sight.

My fate is already decided,
But I have one choice left;

To either become the monster
Or the coward...

I loved you.
I really did.

I loved the way your smile
Would light up your eyes.

The way your jokes
Would always make me laugh.

I wanted to be yours,
And you, mine.

But eventually,
I moved on.

I kept telling myself
That it was a stupid, silly crush.

A summer of regrets,
Constantly relived memories.

Eventually,  I learned to be
The third wheel.

To be friendly when talked to,
Quiet and unnoticeable the rest of the time.

Soon, I will fade away entirely.
My mind is already halfway there.

I don't know why I felt anything for you,
Because I knew it couldn't work out from the start.

So, whoever that special someone is,
I hope she isn't as stupid as I am.

I can't write,
Not at all.
All I can do is read.

But isn't that what we all do?

We don't write stories,
But instead
Read the words,

In the form of our people.

That mad feeling,
Writing all that we read,
For fear of being the only ones who see.

To see if others know what we see.

But the question is,
Do you see this?
What I see, what I read?

Or am I just going crazy...?

Being the only one
Who is trapped
In this mind full of storms.

I keep on saying "light",
Even though I feel
So dark inside.

Feverishly writing,
Thinking,
To stop them becoming actions.

I don't know why I'm like this.

They say that
A human being
Is both dark and light.

Why we always feel conflict.
I don't understand, though,
Because all I see is the dark.

A long journey home,
Trapped in the backseat.
A padded room.

I open my eyes.
And for a moment,
Everything is in blue.

The world shakes,
Distorts. Reality is thrown
Into various shades.

And suddenly,
You're splashing your face.
Wondering if what you saw was truly real.

I try to escape this realm,
Throw my heart into another.
But I never see it again.

I am forever trapped in this mind.