With strange things at my back
I tread softly, wandering
to find déjà vu waiting patiently,
But you already knew that.

I wonder will I escape this view:
"...the viewpoint of absolute truth, [where] what we feel and experience in our ordinary daily life is all delusion";
But you already knew that.

I wander through memory,
Against a dark background.

I wanna feel your heart soak
in lake control,

Unreadable with
beautiful abandon.

Awake, warrior
who struggles; my dreams
spill over into consciousness,

The memory of a non-event has
me struck down with its realness,
Lists of hyponyms, this life hypnotic.

The moon forgives me for the issues
I did battle with;
The Oneiroi, Morpheus and Phantasos.

This 'wake oneironaut did not pause
to ponder at the gates
of horn and ivory.

Our lives are the purest form of poetry,
Each moment is potent,
We are the cosmos in motion.

Some people believe in fate,
I say believe in flourishing; ask yourself:
What doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things?

Sometimes I think about my life
and I'm struck by a vast sadness, for
my past and the future, hopeless, even
though I know there is hope, lovelessness
though I know there is love, and anger because
I cannot help but feel these things. I want to be better,
I'm trying, gave up all the things that made me forget
how broken I am, and I'm afraid to take them back up
again. Part of me knows I could be happy, another part
hates that possibility. Happiness made it fragile, it can't
show vulnerability and this's killing me. I am too afraid
of being hurt to stop feeling this pain and let myself out
and allow others back in. There is something wrong with
me and some days
I struggle to fix it
but other days I
just sink into it;

Amidst traipsing
through the town
I had such a clarity
as to where my soul
had been, as to where
I had gone;
Nu kyr'adyc,
**** taab'echaaj'la.
Who is it that's survived me?
Amongst my menacings
about this city, I was

human, briefly

I titrate 20mg of 2C-T,
A substance I named Tesseract.
The effective dose is supposedly
three to fives times more than mine
but I quite like it here. Warm, benign
headspace, not altogether insightful but
friendly (and
we all need friends at times).
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-methylthiophenethylamine,
It was the first '2C' to have a sulfur atom,
A realm of possibilities opened up from there:
2C-T-1, Tesseract. I wonder what of
2C-T-2, Rosy. Or
2C-T-7, Beautiful. Or
2C-T-21, Aurora. Per'aps
2C-T-28, Vesper. I'd go on,
I do wander so often upon
these marvelous compounds.