All I see is your back n eyes closed as u sleep ... out of 24 hours
All I get is nothing no emotion no passion no nothing!
All I see is a eyelid
Blinded to what’s actually here
Eyes closed to the pain
Ears shutting out the whimpering of me crying
As I sit here at this hour all I asked
For was your time but it’s asking too much
Hell im exhausted beyond compare
24/7 365 On call as a parent no breaks
Yet still find the time to show you attention
But
Not the same effort is returned
It doesn’t take much yet it’s hard for you to do for me I guess
All I see is your back n eyes closed as u sleep ... out of 24 hours
All I get is nothing no emotion no passion no nothing!
No sincerity
No time
No outings
No hey baby
No nothing
My heart is heavy this sadness
I feel how could you have changed
I just don’t see it
Empty expression
Empty heart
Idk what to expect but I do know
This isn’t what I signed up for
Just so many reasons
It’s crazy we had this situation
A year ago
I AM SCREAMING CAN YOU HEAR ME
ACKNOWLEDGE ME
DO YOU SEE ME ?!
I am SHOUTING AS IF I  AM SINGING MY FAVORITE ROCK SONG
HELLO DEAR DO YOU HEAR ME?!
As I sit here at this hour all I asked
For was your time but it’s asking too much
Hell im exhausted beyond compare
24/7 365 On call as a parent no breaks
Yet still find the time to show you attention
Guess I have to call and make an appointment
Can you schedule me in ?
Is anytime ok ?
I just want time but hey right
(Hold me please )
All I get is your cold shoulder
All I see is your eyes closed
(kiss my lips )
All Is silent
(Do you realize i exist?)

All I see is your back n eyes closed as u sleep ... out of 24 hours
All I get is nothing no emotion no passion no nothing!
All I see is a eyelid
Blinded to what’s actually here
Eyes closed to the pain
Ears shutting out the whimpering of me crying
As I sit here at this hour all I asked
For was your time but ..... blind man doesn’t see me

Listen to my cries
My screams my shouts
Be that peace
My days are long and nonstop
No breaks in between you see
Depression shouldn’t be taken lightly
As if it’s a simple
Stub toe ouchy
Taken seriously
Hear the words
Read in between the lines
Do you see like honestly
Look into my eyes
I’ am weary
I am tired
I’ am restless
Emotions at an all time high
What’s it to end it all
Seems like it’s an easy choice
This depression is the devil and he really trying me
Listen to my cries
My screams my shouts
Be that peace
My days are long and nonstop
No breaks in between you see

Destiny of gloom,
No but the happiness  
of  poet.
destiny is my muse
destiny to be me.
destiny receiving
What is yours.
Destiny lies in ambush;
destiny of minor chords,
can be found
destiny has planned,
our lives.
Settling no,
destiny is my fate.
Our  hearts ,
destiny is in your heart.
Follow your heart
destiny of gloom.
No but the happiness  
of  poet.

Do you see me honestly ?
Look into her eyes what do you see
Do you see a woman who's love runs deep
Do you see the hurt
Do you see her completely
Look into her eyes
What words come to mind ?
Her standing before you with all that she is
Beating heart in hand
Naked soul
Look into her eyes what do you see?
Do you see me honestly

He did that
Yes years has passed
He did things nobody has done before
Made love to me in ways I can’t even explain
We wanted so much more
Yet we’re too caught up in our own
Maybe she don’t
Maybe he doesn’t
Like me that way
He did that
One thing wheww chilleeee
Make your toes curl just thinking about it
Old memories
Such a great chemistry
Shy didn’t speak
She couldn’t find the words
He did that
Made her speechless
Made her think deeply
Of
Would’ve could’ve should’ve
What a great bond
Speak up chilleee go get your man
Speak up mannn go get your woman
It’s never too late
Go let love take over 2 souls
Who have been broken from past
RelaHellTionships
Make it happen
He did that
He did that
Yes years has passed
He did things nobody has done before
Made love to me in ways I can’t even explain

Is it worth it ?
Written on 08/29/18

Block boy trap ***** gang ******
is loosing your life worth it?
Bringing pain to your children mom n family is it really worth it?
Burying your body before your time
is it worth it?
Proving a point of what exactly that you a real *****?
That you’re tough?
That you’re down for ur ******?
That’s what make you a dumb *****!
All that tough **** is for the birds
Jail or death are your options
6 feet down in the dirt
Being paralyzed for life
Loosing a limb
Constant retaliation
Is it worth it?
Becoming the stereotypical *** *****
Stray bullets have no names
Ending lives with no shame
Do you have a conscious a soul
Fighting is one thing
But to never come back because
You took that gun and ended a life
Is it worth ?
Young child dead stray bullet to her head
Young child dead stray bullet to his head
Teen gangsta pulled the trigger tryna prove to his boys that he a real *****
Not caring who is around
More bodies to bury
Is it worth it?
Now you’re caught
Now you’re crying
Now you realize you just threw away your life
But you’re not crying because you realize what you have done is wrong
But because you were caught!
Sad priceless moments that you could be using to actually doing good
End the black on black crime
All this unity for loyalty y’all have for y’all ******
Could be used for unity positivity
For the young boys and girls for the next generation build each other up
But instead being a real *****
A killer of your people
Is what’s up
Is it worth it?
When will y’all wake up dumb ****** be a smart ***** do what’s right
When will y’all wake up
Build the community
Give your parents someone to be proud off
Break the ******* cycle
Honestly
Real negus do things to bring up their  
Communities
Real NEGUS are royalty
Real NEGUS are not focus on destruction of self and communities
REAL NEGUS TAKE PRIDE AND SHOW IT
REAL NEGUS NOT REAL ****** SEE THE DIFFERENCE?
So when I ask you is it worth it?
You are dead just a memory while your boys move on with their lives it either changes them or they have already joined you
Was it worth it?
Block boy trap n* gang n*
is loosing your life worth it?
Bringing pain to your children mom n family is it really worth it?
Burying your body before your time
is it worth it?

Gave up my life for a lie... gave my heart for it to be broken
Gave my soul for it to be taken for granted
Gave my TRUTH for a Nobody...
There’s not much more of me to take
Except for the body that
The soul came in...
Devil you drained me
Devil you won
Devil you sneaky mtfka
You disguised yourself good this time
Gave my love
For it to be spun around
Gave my cheer
For it to be made fun of
For he didn’t couldn’t just plain out wouldn’t see the wrong he did
No guilt in his heart of the actions
He committed
There’s no soul in his body
Just bunch of wasted space
He cares not for nobody
No indeed not even for his self
He will manipulate you
Make you believe in fairy tales
Happily ever after hey it could be true
With the words of a liar
The way he takes these words
To make this virtual world
But
The the ugly truth sweeps through
That reality
You saw the signs yet the love took over
Took over yes love
Wake up smell the coffee
Wake up from the lies that devil told you
There will be no happiness
With him
Can’t you see
He doesn’t cherish you nor love you
Listen my child
Love doesn’t do this
How can he love you
He don’t even love himself

Gave up my life for a lie... gave my heart for it to be broken
Gave my soul for it to be taken for granted
Gave my TRUTH for a Nobody

Maybe it's me
All this pain.
NOTHING
Yet i still strive to be the best that i can be.
Maybe it's me
Cant help it i wear my heart on my sleeve.
Maybe it's me
When in reality its not.
I sit back and observe everything
Some **** aint worth speaking on.
Maybe its me
I don't do anyone wrong but we all have skeletons in our closets.
Maybe it's me
I just dont get it at all
I mean i try and try
Yet still wondering like ***
Maybe it's me
But in reality it's not
Maybe it's me
All this pain.

My mister is handsome
Kind sweet and loving .
He pushes me to be great,
goes over
& beyond to make me feel his love.
In my soul he is my soulmate
In my heart he has shined like a diamond.
In my mind he is my dream come true.
I feel him in my spirit.
Even when he’s 3000 miles away.
Brings joy to my world when days are dimmed .
My face lights up at the sound of his voice.
Genuinely cares for my well being.
As I genuinely care about his.
Never had the rush of feelings .
Never listened to my soul.
With the sound of my voice he knows when something is bothering me.
Opens his world into mine.
My mister is truly one of a kind.
Two souls forever changed.
Two souls seen NAKED
Two souls who are coming together
As the greatest love story of all time.
My mister is handsome
Kind sweet and loving .
He pushes me to be great,
goes over
& beyond to make me feel his love.

Naked

Could you love me naked?
As we stood face to face.
Completely NAKED every flaw ,
Standing before us
Every insecurity .
Every doubt .
Every inch of our naked bodies,
Naked souls.
Eyes opening as if for the first time ,
Exploring every section of me.
Finally seeing me .
Finally allowing us to see ,
Each others soul.
For the beautiful paintings,
Caramel browns against dark browns,
Blacks against reds,
Peanut butter chocolate against white chocolate.
Painting souls unleashed into a divine fire,
Photographed at its best .
You pull me close it’s fireworks in the sky.
Our souls have now became one.
Our souls complete EACH OTHER.
Finally knowing the intimacy meaning,
Without being ****** physically .
Our souls match ,
Our hearts beat with the same rhythm.
Thoughts as we speak,
No longer afraid.
Leaving the bad on the table and deciding to accept all of us .
Not looking past anything ,
Loving all of EACH OTHER .
Finally seeing NAKED ,
Finally being OURSELVES .
Do you believe you Could you love me naked ?
As we stood face to face.
Completely NAKED every flaw ,
Standing before us.
Every insecurity .
Every doubt .
Every inch of our naked bodies,
Naked souls.

REAL LIFE FEEDS YOU TRUTH
POETRY IS MY ESCAPE
I CRY MY TEARS ON PAPER