I think that true love is
Missing something that is with you
Longing for something that is not yet gone


your soul enduring
The separation of flesh
That will only be undone
Upon death


When your spirits can unite
And dance through eternal starry nights
In the way they did before.


Love is-
Missing the soul you were once one with.
Before you burst through the barrier of life.
Love is-
Touching something that cannot be touched.


And the ambivalence
Of holding on tight.


But knowing deep down
Your love is always there,
Like the ground you walk on.


Love is seeing the eternal starry nights
You used to dance through, together
In the eyes of your beloved.


Love is-
deep down,
Beneath the sleepy stupor of
Being alive…


A brilliant knowing,
that it’s better there,
In that deep, and starry night,


That goes on forever behind the curtain of life.

When joy returns,
After a long time away
It’s like she had never gone away,

When joy returns,
She comes with light
Bright enough to cover the night
That came before.

When joy returns
She let’s you see
A divine hand aiding your mistakes
So you know the journey was all worthwhile.

When joy returns
– and she always does.

Your heart is wider and fuller than before
Because sorrow swells it for good.

But when joy returns,
She obtains all the new space that the sorrow has made.
And inhabits it, radiantly.

And when joy comes home,
You’ll know it.

Because you’ll see yourself there, again.

Tender tomorrows
Give rise
To blue skies –
Fresh beginnings.


I know,
Fall is near
With its crisp air,


And subtle, bitterness.


Tomorrow will come
Supple with autumn rays
Dancing across my face,


As i walk boldly
Across the shaky bridge,
Into the next season
That life has to give.

I went walking
On a soft, September afternoon
The air was gentle, with new life ahead

And deep within the blue autumn breeze
Children ran down city streets
And life moved quickly
While the soft September air
Gracefully slipped between
Busy bodies, honking horns

And all of life went on,
Pressing forward
Melting into one thing

Soft and glowing
Beating, proceeding

Perfect, purposeless
–Life
Living itself
Under soft September skies

As I walked, I could see

Lines across faces
Toothless grins
Children running
Birds overhead
The empty allies
The green of the trees
Trails of consumption

All of what was, and is
And is yet to come…

On soft, September city streets
Beyond the reach of summer heat…

Raw, one and serene
Beating with a near-winter glow.

When you were gone
I saw myself

–Alone, weak and fragile
–That, I did not like.

And I longed for your return
So I could be strong.

But I failed to see
God by my side.

Who was there all along.

I wish I could be more of the woman you and I both want me to be
Selfless, confident, and self-assured
But weak, I am-
Woman.
Plush and fertile,
Tender with tears
Trying to be strong
To give you more
Of the woman you and I both want me to be.

But I am not her,
I am me.

Strong in my weakness,
Sincere in my ways.

Humbly, I am
The woman I am.

“What if?” shouts fear, loud and shrilling.
“I’ll still be here” God whispers, softly.

My thoughts
Lead me down
An enticing path
Into darkness

Where I dwell,
For just a moment

Until I turn around
And take myself
Up and back
Into the light.

You said to your disciples–
“You of little faith”
–And you loved them,
Nonetheless.

And I, of little faith
Follow you,
Seeking more.

Before You,
I never knew,
How much love,
I was capable of.

When it’s morning
And I see your face
I see forever
With you.

I awake
To the gray of dawn
And listen to the hymn
Of the train and the winds

And watch the gray become blue
As, in the east,
The sun lifts
Its heavy weight
Over the horizon

And subtle pink hues
Dance wildly through
Tender morning skies
And clouds fill the space
Where heaven resides

From my home,
I watch another morning
Bloom with life
And become part
Of another day, again

At dawn
I watched you
Climb into bed beside me

Half awake, I was
And half-lit was the room
From the half-lit sky
Of early morning

And the dawn shadows
Drew across you
And I caught your appearance–
Your beard and your body
Your features and gestures

Getting into bed with me.

I layed there still
As the twilight crept
Slowly over us

Astonished at you
Beside me

As dawn and morning
Cradled us both
Back to sleep
And brought us into
Another day
Together.

I love
The imperfection
Of who I am
Today.

Because God made me this way,
And gave me this day.

I am too tired
To contort words and phrases,

All I can speak is my truth:

Give me your love
Give me your love
Give me your love.

I tried to contort
To fit your shape
And now my spirit
Is knotted and bound

Still and stuck, I am
Full
Of life–
Unlived.

I take a deep breath
Creating space
To begin releasing
The knots I once made.

Once I achieved
All I ever wanted,

My full hands
Longed for the space
They held before.

It was full
Of opportunity.

I am only as good as my greatest sin
So I hold it high, overhead
Like a torch–
That guides the path
And lights the way…

I miss him
Even though
He is long gone.

Blessings wash over me.
I am the center of the fountain.

Renewing waters
–Cleansing.

Feeling–
More than whole.

I have.
More than enough.
To offer this world.

Faith is not the absence of doubt.
Faith is having doubt, and not believing it.

May I walk in the light, today.

Show up,
Believe,
Proceed...

I have grown so tired
Of the weeds of doubt
That wring at my mind

Please prune the fear from me
And make my vision clear–

So I can see
All the light
That rests ahead.

I can't believe
How much love
The human heart
Is capable of.

Winding roads,
lined with snake plants
paved in molasses
guide us to the sea...

Where dusk sweeps the day
and silhouette figures
dance across shores
celebrating the day’s
final light before night.

Let me capture life
Celebrating itself
Before the sun
Drops into the sea

Please do not hold
Your breath to me.

Outside of you
I float, waiting
For your warm dwelling place.

And when you exhale,
I will be here.
Waiting for you,
To breathe me in.

A child runs –
Down an eternal summer street
Trying to catch a butterfly
That flies above her reach...

God made me my mothers daughter
And I hold her fear in my heart.
But I hold her love, too.

And her fear I handle with honest, shaking hands
– cautiously and gently…

But with her love -
I let it roar like wildfire.

I am too tired to hide,
From you anymore.

This is who I am.

I don’t want to escape from this feeling
And yet,
I cannot bear
To withstand it, either…

Character does not descend from the sky like dew
It grows from the depths
And fights to move upwards.

Upwards, upwards, upwards,
I go.

How grateful I am
To capture time and sensation
In words and meaning…

Delight & despair
wrapped in a message

To share with it’s rightful recipient.

Divinely delivered
Through the hands of God,
So you can know–

You are not alone.
And that one day,
Everything will be okay.

dwelling on a cloud of airy pleasance
gazing below, upon what once was

tempted, I am, reaching down for sensation
Meaning and feeling

the pain i once knew,
heavy and true

When out of the blue,

grace from above
captures my hand

in warm and golden hues

a stable,
easeful
and peaceful feeling

subtle, as it is.

it satisfies my longing
for sensation and truth

With ease, mother grace
places my once-eager hand
upon my own heart

and i soften in  peace
Knowing, i am not alone,
Dwelling on a cloud of pleasance
gazing up at the sky.

I have fallen so many times,
And descended so low,
That the only way to go,
Is up…

You are my surrender to night
the days last exhale,
That dances into dreams..

You are the arch of day,
the warm rays of morning
the delight of new light...

a forest breeze
between the trees,

the bloom of laughter.
the evaporation of thoughts.

a beckoning gate, of which I step through-

Into your peaceful
And gentle presence.

There is a flavor of alone
In every breath without you.

I want to breathe fresh air.
That doesn’t taste of your absence.

The sweet thing about the end
Is that it necessitates surrender
And builds humility.

Even in the final hour,
Truth will always triumph.

You will never find another me.
And I will never find another you.

But for a moment in time,
We found each other.

And I suppose,
That is enough for me.

I don’t want to be alone anymore
I want to be together.
I don’t want to fake strong
When I am weak.
And I won’t go back
When forward is in front of me.

I like to drink my coffee fast.
And standing.
Because I know there’s more where that came from.
And I’ve got somewhere to be.

There is no stopping it.
A tsunami as high as the sky
Casts its shadow around me.

I tried to run,
But now I surrender,
Standing still beneath it.

Let it pour down over me.
I will drown,
In my love for you.

I will breathe with this fear
And cradle her near,
until she decides to go.

For now, she is scared.
And she finds my flesh inviting.
My body warm,
My mind – open and appealing.

A fleeting part of me,
I choose not to distance myself.
Becoming a fragment
Of my experience.

I will stay,
Unafraid,
Until she finds
A new place to go.

Time passes fast
And in it,
If I have not conveyed myself,
I have done nothing.

I used to be a child.
My mothers child.
My fathers daughter.

I used to be the hope
In my grandmother's eyes.

I used to know her hands.

I used to have a brother, once.
We used to talk at night.

I used to run by cold, Atlantic waters.
Now I sit by the Pacific.

I used to have a brother once.

Stoic and gentle–
With dry eyes
And a giant, armored heart.

He, too, used to play in gray, New England tides.

I used to have a family.
We used to be a family.

All I have are words and tears
And hours of life
Arranged in a particular pattern.

Let me live it,
unabashedly so.

It won't exist when I am gone.
And I choose not to bury myself
Before my time.

I promise you,
There was once a time
When I was not so alone.

And how precious
That moment was to me then,
And is to me now.

So many days I begged God for freedom
And how many nights I pleaded for more –
Love.

And here I am, free and fulfilled
For a moment in time.

Let the present go on forever.

As I sit and greet this day,
Warm I am, inside.

As the pink morning sky blazes before me
In its pure, autumn glow.

I let the petals burst from my heart.
I am in love.

You are not perfect.
But to your mother,
You are her son.