Monotone

Monotone Jun 2020

Nothing

Im ****** up.
Everyone leaves me.
I guess I'm not good enough.
And I don't think I'll ever be good enough.
I think its time for me to leave them.
Because they're too good.
And I think they will always be.
So with a steady hand, Ill let my blood seep.
And my soul wither away into nothing.

Monotone Jun 2020

Black Lives Matter

I have not stood where they have.
I have not struggled as they have.
But I am not ignorant, nor am I blind.
Change must happen,
And I will not stand idly by.

Are you standing on the right side, or the racist side?

#blm #justiceforgeorgefloyd #change

Monotone Jun 2020

Whirlwind of Confusion

I detest
That we are
So far apart
Yet also so close.
It just hurts
So much
But also,
Doesnt.
And I'm a
Whirlwind
Of confusion.

Monotone May 2020

Patient, Kind, And Caring

Every time I felt down,
There was no one to turn to.
I was always alone;
However, now I realize
That I have you.
And I don't want to ruin it.
I dont want you to be a crutch,
And that's why it's so hard
for me to open up.
I'm working on it,
I promise I'm trying.
Thank you so much
for being patient, kind, and caring.

Monotone May 2020

Every Single Time.

I'm broken.
Every time I think I'm better,
my wrists get that familiar ache to bleed.
I'm not acting on it.
But I want it to go away.
Why do these small things affect me?
Just a harmless thought and
suddenly I'm internally screaming.
I'm tired of being scared
of what I might do to myself.

Monotone May 2020

Psst

Hey,
I just wanted to take a moment
To say, "I love you."
And, "I never want to be without you."
That's it.
Thats all.
Just me saying the things
That typically go without being said.

Monotone May 2020

I'm Two Years Free

I remember the memory
Of that silver blade
Flitting across my pale skin.
I remember the pain,
And the emotional anguish,
That led me to commit the act.
I remember the repulsive thoughts
That led me to believe
that I was not enough.
I remember that it was easier,
To cut and have real pain,
Rather than something that wasnt concrete.
I remember how hard it was
To curb the addiction
That I had developed.
I remember it all.