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Janjay Aug 2018
I remember every word you said to me.
I used to try to forgive you and cut the words out of my body. I bled too much.

Over time it was easier to let them build and build on top of each other until I could feel nothing.

I became used to your words, and your desire for control,
What malice.
I must admit through it all, I have grown quite callous
Freaking dad.
Janjay Jul 2018
I wake up, release tension,  
sleep, release tension.  
Just want to sleep.
*** lust love
Janjay Jul 2018
There is no light without darkness.
There is no peace without violence.
We struck a chord, dissonance.
Our bodies touched, fulfillment.

There is no you without emotions.
There is no me without silence........

You cut yourself trying to find,
what lingers in this shutup mind.
Attachment issues.
Janjay Jul 2018
Inside her walls he finds comfort.
A pink glow covers over the fight
From the night before,
where silverware sang, and children dare not speak.
How people try to fix problems.
Janjay Jul 2018
My body is broken, bleeding from how you accept me without fault.
Sure I may lie and tear you to pieces, but you still desire to patch my wounds and lay beside me.
There is nothing more painful and tragically beautiful than this.
Going through hell.
Janjay Jul 2018
I thought for a while that I had been misread a long time, for I do not feel.
I continue to hurt those around me, my skin does not peel.
I suppose to some, to be known is the most beautiful feeling.
I’m reeling!  
From the realization and dread, that perhaps all these years,
I might have been dead.

— The End —