A note. Just a letter
I wish I could have written it better
Maybe even told you myself
But I'll leave it on your shelf:
Anticipation
Delayed gratification
Impatience
For elation
In all my years and all my desires
Everything I've striven for
Groped, struggled and tried
So excited I couldn't sleep
Could think of naught else
For days, weeks, obsessed
With the fruits of success
The reward nearly grasped
Barely out of reach
Ultimately empty, each one
Mostly disappointments, even when won
Culmination of cultivated fires
Disappointments, liars
But those blissful nine months
And the years before, hopeful
When I could speak of naught
And I concentrated my thought
With momma, bless her light
Before she gave up the fight
For you, my darling
For you, my darling
Couldn't have prepared
Never even compared
With you, my darling
With you, my darling
Of all the realized prizes
In arbitrary sizes
The worthless committals
Then I saw you, so little...
Only you, my tiny girl
My angel, my pride
Have truly changed my world
Without you I've died
Sun moon and stars are a drop in the bucket
Next to the picture of you I keep in a locket
Only you, Ella my love
My precious, most important,
Sweet turtledove
P.S.
Sealed in an envelope
Hide it in her hope chest
And when the time comes
Once she lays me to rest
I've written on the outside
"To Ella, with love forever,
Open once daddy has died."
I know that she can't possibly comprehend the magnitude of my love for her, or that literally every action I take is with her in mind. She's just a baby. But when I'm gone, she will know, that right from the start she stole my whole heart.
She will know that if it sounds cheesy it's because putting love into words is like describing music, or explaining beauty. It must be seen, heard, felt, to truly appreciate the significance. Even then it is overwhelming.