Riding on fantasy
Out on the open sea
Learn what I can
from my own delusion

Imagination runs around
Dizzy from all this
Heavy ground
Found the wrong solution

Leave me alone
Let me fail on my own

I don't need your opinion
On where I went wrong
I've known all along

A see what I can see
Learn what I can earn

I seem to have lost my interest
In your personal confidence

I'm not sure what I said but I'm sure I regret it
Can't remember what you did but I know you won't forget it

Fascinated,
Baptised, elated

The wonder is the oar that
We all hold

Confused, berated
Capitulated
Facing down our fear

Cynical, jaded
Disarmed, negated
Clutching all we hold dear

Disregarded, hated
Ignored, fated
To fade like morning dew

Out of breath I scream
All that I want from me
But there's no one there to hear

Chorus:

Push through
Let your hair down
Let me flow through you
Ask yourself why
Discard the question and ignore the truth
Push through
Culmination
All the years, all the tears
Could never encapsulate you
Push through
Drown the negative
This ******* apathetic, apologetic
Fatalistic thing we grew
Push through

Transcend the physical
Don't let this infinity win

If we name the number
Maybe we'll never ask again

Or maybe we do

Ella,

Won't let you see my worry

Ella,

Kepp the curtain over my dark streak

Gave you all that was good in me
Tried to **** out all of my greed

I'll never point out all that's wrong with you
Because it's wrong with me too

Stay in your little house my dear
I'm here, there's nothing to fear

Ella

I'll keep you safe from all but me
Hold you tight til you can hardly breathe

Ella

Every time I have to fight to sleep
I dream the dream that only your smile brings

Ella

When I feel your hearbeat next to me
I think I may still be in my dream

Ella

Hope you don't have to be like me
Complaining, always the martyr

If you do, I can't wait to see
How you do it so much smarter

I'll wear you on my sleeve so my heart still beats

Ella

Break me down to pieces please
See you're the best of me

Ella

Intro

Heavy thoughts aloof
Drizzle on the roof

Going to be a monsoon
Going to be a gale soon

First verse

I could drown in the sound
Or the water on the ground
All the vagrants in town
Shiver, shudder, hide out

Second verse

So come inside with me
Or hide beneath the tree
Let this all blow past us
See how long denial can last us

Buildup from lull

And then we'll go to sleep
dry and warm
Pretend I'm not afraid of the storm

First chorus

I can hear the rain
It's coming, and it burgeons
I can hear the rain
In sheets and waves and curtains
Battering the breaches
Baton down the hatches
Pray the long reaches of the rain
Bring us sunshine and peaches

Puddles splashing
Babies napping
Alone with nothing happening
Put my coat on
Decide to stay home
Wish I was with someone

Bridge

Rain rain go away
You already ****** up one day
Rain rain go away
The sky cried for hours today

A squall, deluge, downpour
The one to run for life for
Fight for, prepare, and die for
But still there comes more

Lull

But then the sun comes out
A glimmer through the clouds
I think it's letting up

Build

But then I hear the sound
It ******* shakes the ground
Like the heavens themselves
Screaming aloud

Build

Blustering, twisting,
Buffeting and blistering
Forget the shutters
Hear the thunder
Crack the sky asunder

Build

Protect the others
Save the children
Save the mothers

Crescendo

I can hear the rain
It's here it rages, and surges
I can hear the rain
In sheets and waves and curtains
Battering the breaches
Baton down the hatches
Pray the long reaches of the rain
Bring us sunshine and peaches

The terrible darkness
on the back of my eyelids
Look just like the abyss

And it's staring back at me
Beckoning, calling me
If you only look to see
You'll find infinity

Staring down into the abyss
I swear it's looking back again
Maybe I'll just swim right in
Take a bath in the pool of sin

This is a death march don't be naive
No good will come of this you will see
The gallows are just beyond these trees
So why the **** are you dragging me

I'm here of my own free will
You cling onto me still
You hold onto your guilt
I won't validate your selfish tilt

Heels dug in, now struggling
Dreading impending judging
Crying that I don't need your help
Can't you hear me wail and yelp

Look away from the obvious thought
I suppose this was the only way out
I still can't shake this doubt
That we always knew what this is about

If there is a God he's not in my life anymore
You saved me, gave me strength to change
I need you to stay
I need you to say
You'll be here with me forever
Pull off my mask
Let your hair down
Show me I am my own savior

I used to be outrospective
I have become selfish
This is not an apology
Rather an acknowledgement
As the world changes
As I grow and change
I cannot judge myself
Only observe and reflect
It is like the universe
As we inspect, dissect infinity
We realize how little we know
And I too
As I peel away layers in my sentience
Put my consciousness under a microscope
Like a flower unfurling under sol
Or a caterpillar creating a chrysalis
With no knowledge of its own becoming
I am immersed, humbled
And terrified of myself
And the power bestowed upon me
For how will I know
If what I choose is right
Just. True. Moral. Ethical.
Loving. Kind. Selfless
When I can only see
Through the lens of my own mind
And I am selfish