Pictures everywhere
On trees
The walls
Milk cartons and bottles of vino
Mirrors and buildings
Strewn all over the place
Like clues
Some show her face
Other have been slashed up
Eyes
Lips
I see them everywhere
Every day
A normal girl at first glance
With dark hair and even darker eyes
Eyes full of fierce determination
Eyes that tell a story
A sprinkle of freckles
Lips out to entice
And a light scar
Jagged
Right through one brow
Too bright to be a Jane doe
So I call her Vyola
I have a hunch
she is still awake
Around
Walking with a new face maybe
There isn’t much in this small town
A couple of hundreds of people
The majority with no dreams
The young work
working from morning to evening
The weak are forgotten
Not enough schools or libraries
Too many bars clubs and hidden casinos
Money talks
It screams
Its all the world cares about
I don’t know much about her background yet
she came from a family with too many kids and very little money
One meal a day
Broken windows
Dusty books
Yellowed sketch books
Dirtied school uniform
That’s all that’s left of her now
The dad doesn’t care
Mom still can’t forget her
First born
Its been a long time
A pretty woman
Stress and worry have erased a lot of it
But she never forgets to smile
When our eyes meet
Every morning
She spends hours cleaning
Takes only a moment to look at her worn out picture
On my desk
On the missing person’s wall
I am doing all that I can
But I know she has it a lot worse

No more pink lenses
To try on
Memory after memory
Plays on
déjà vu
Leaves behind
Bittersweet
Felings
Time
Stretches
Further
Feelings arise
Love
Loss
Emptiness
Aching
Cant get rid of it
The heart
Warms up
Freezes
But
always
In constant pain

I think of you
but i shouldn't
i miss you
but i shouldn't
i talk to you
but i shouldn't
i look for you
but i shouldn’t
i feel for you
but i shouldn't
i should forget you
but i cant
no one ever taught me how

I have loved you
Long before you had acquired all of this
The responsibility
The great reputation
The love
The popularity
The good name
I know we are different
The only peoples I have only known
Are the kind who are out always out to hurt others
They look out for themselves first
Then hurt others
Most of the time
for pleasure
A sick sadistic kind of pleasure
Then I met you
Different from the rest
You want to do whats right
You always put other peoples needs before your own
Rarely care about your own
You wear your heart where others can see it
I saw it as well
Realized that is where I wanted mine to be
Warmed up
Next to yours

Did you come back just to hurt me again?
Had some unfinished business
I didn’t know about
Do you want to capture the hurt look on my face one last time
Couldn’t get it right last time
That was 4 months ago
So your doing it again
This soiree wasn’t my idea
But every one thought you would like it
Welcome home
You look different
You keep on staring at women across the room
Like their prey
But when my eyes fall on you
Your ready to jump out of your skin
alabaster skin
I can still feel it on my finger tips
Is the room spinning too?
Can you hear their heartbeats?
You look like your dying
laughing
then ready to cry
The music's too loud
Is it hurting your head yet?
Don’t worry the lights will go out soon
The music will drown away too
we will finally be alone
to talk
to feel

You played me right from the start
A game that you have won too many times
too cocky to care about the consequences
Our eyes met and I started seeing stars right away
It lit the way for me to you
But I now wish I knew what was waiting for me in the end
I gave you my heart the during the walk
Too soon
I will admit that I did not know what I was doing
just felt like it was the right thing to do
I curse my self
For my own foolishness
But you knew what you were doing
Was that the plan
String me along
Tighten the noose
Till I can’t think straight?
You chipped away at it
Day and night
With that disarming smile
Playful stares
Kind words
Words of tainted affection
That never meant anything
All of it a ploy
For what?
A friends phone number?
Answers to the final
Help I would have given it you
But why this?
Hurting
But don’t leave me bleeding
Break my heart
All of it
So that I can’t feel again
Not all the good things anyways
You got under my skin and now your leaving
I will be sure return the pain
The poison
Unannounced
Just when you feel like you’re the king of the world
Everything's going your way
Let it blind you
Devour you
Bring you to your knees
I promise

So another day ends
I Lay awake
the wind howls
finger like branches knock at the windows
I feel lonelier then usual
cinnamon offers very little comfort
but she's fast asleep in her fuchsia coloured doggy bed
the though of filling my insides up with rosy liquid in the harsh light of the television seems depressing
I need something stronger
meditation is off the table
I finished the last of my cigarettes
forgot the lavender oil and bubble bath
on purpose, I think
there is no one to hold me in the midst of all the bubbles and soft glow of tea lights
no one to hold my hands as I am curled up in something of yours with my hair in curlers
just talking about insignificant things
silly things
the small things
I miss it
the sound of your voice
the feel of your touch
your scent
I know you will never come to the phone
you have stopped paying attention to my messages
is it more time that you need?
or have you already made up your mind?