I have tried your phone multiple times already
Sends me straight to voicemail
Sorry but I cant come to the phone right now too busy saving the world
It makes me laugh every time but then all I am left with worry and stress
The sky is getting darker and rain is the only music I can hear right now
The buildings stand tall with hundreds of busybodies
Most of the lights are still on
Some go home at 5
Others stay the night
Many choose to forget their worldly problems, so they invite trouble
Give her a key and wads of cash in all the colours of the rainbow
Skip the small talk and slip off the dress
Close the blinds and put on the blindfold
Grab her by the hair and work that mouth
Give her something to work on
Again, again and again
Until he is the one feeling alright
She will be wiping off the lipstick
Careful not to get any on his clothes
I will try you phone again
One last time
Sorry but I cant –

The Truth finally came out
I wonder how long you managed to keep this up
You said all that you had to
Well congrats it couldn’t have been easy for you
Since you prefer prevention instead of confrontation
It was a lot to take in
Right before bed time
I always thought I was the miserable one
Your claims were an earful
You really enjoy tormenting me
You treat like a pet
You have sacrificed nothing! It was all me
All I ever get rewarded is with cold behavior, icy stares and your favorite word of the week
No!
Your inhuman and I am so sorry I ever met you
I could have done so much better then you
Now I have been called many names
People have harbored all kinds of feelings towards me
They have no doubt thought the very wosrst about me
I cant apologize for everything
Yea I have changed
There are still parts of me that are warm, kind, caring, friendly and resourceful
I am not stupid to make the same mistakes again
Let my emtions drive me up the wall
I sometimes stop feeling for you
I tune out
Sympathize with you till it becomes a joke
Sorry if I bring out the worst out of you
Make you morph into a wild eyed raging beast instead of the well mannerd, smiley faced young lad everyone takes you for
I cant always keep my feelings to myself
I cant always keep my problems ot myself
I cant always keep my mistakes to myself
They overlap with your day
They spill into your thoughts
They stay in your brain
But I try my best to not be a nuisance to you
Promise!
But somehow I always end up making things difficult for you
For those around you too
I know I have a destructive touch
I break everything I touch and hold in my hands
I was like this ever since I was a toddler
It explains why mom never bought me anything pretty
It explains why dad always yelled at me
It explains why I had no real friends
I guess its better if I go back to where I came from
You carry on
Forget about how I first came to you
Forget about how our eyes met
Our minds clicked

Is it just another episode of stress induced fatigue
Is it jet lag
Can this be the beginning of another cold or the flu
I hear that everyone is getting sick now
I do not look my best
I certainly feel even worse
It is not laziness because I would get annoyed of feeling that after some time
This feels different
I don’t actually want to do anything
I am perfectly fine of just remaining still right now
I do not want to anyone near me
I do want to hear voices
Right next to me
Or from a distance
I feel weird
Tired almost but I know I wont be sleeping
Anxious but still at the same time
Quiet but my mind is racing
My thoughts continue to crash with one another
My throat feels dry
There is so much that needs to be said
But I cant find the effort or the strength to talk right now
Maybe all I need is a good cry
But even that’s not happening
The day passed by in a blur but I know that night wont be so merciful

It is happening again
The day will go on
Everything is in motion
But I am on the verge of tears
I cannot hold on to this smile for a moment longer
**** Customer Service!

Love must taste like a warm criss-crossed apple pie with vanilla bean ice cream on top
It must be hot
It must be cold
It must be both satisfying and full-filling
It must take a long time to master
A lot of patience is required to get things just right
When you have too much of it you end up  hurting
When you have none of it you feel horrible and empty
I have a sweet tooth and no cure
But I have yet to taste a piece of that warm criss-crossed apple pie with vanilla bean ice cream on top

You know what I will miss the most about us?
Not
the smiley pics
The stupid txt msgs
Impromptu dates
Cheesy couple costumes
Happy Hour
Saturday Shopping Sprees
Long Lazy Rides
Ice-cream at midnight
Goodnight Kisses
Train rides going to particularly nowhere
Cute lil Caricatures of us
International souvenirs
Picnics and walks on the parks
The swings
Matching tattoos
Bets and promises
Weekend long Marathons
5 dollar desserts
Hot hair balloon rides
Horse back riding
Apple picking
Pie baking
Cake tasting
Ring picking
Unlimited Hugs and Hot soup
Fishing
Dancing
Fighting
Trust and support
Make Up ***
Cooking on a whim

But the connection I once shared with you…

I know we are not on talking terms right now
because of some of the things you said
because of some of the things I said
I love you with all that I have
But I am unable to talk to you
It hurts
But I cant tell you that
I am sorry
But I cant tell you that either
You wont even look at me
I am not sure how to act around you
Instead I am sitting here trying to rationalize all of this
Anger in normal
Stress is normal
Reflection is important and needed
But this hurt
A lot!