sun browned skin
wild haired girl
barefoot running
ducking  touching collecting watching
alone
laughing dreaming

dreaming

barefoot green eyed
wild girl
chasing

*chasing what?

I can still remember when
Your eyes drank of my soul
I think about us now and then
Of before we lost control
We took it all for granted
Played life, like a ******* game
But the seeds of sorrow we planted
Would put me in touch with my shame
I wish that I had been strong enough
But I ****** away my pride
You did teach me I wasn't so tough
What you did left me empty inside
Never will say this wasn't my fault
But you will hold some of the blame
Something's in life don't need to be taught
Like to  honour the children you named
Yet, somehow I just lost my way
And let them pay the price
I think what I have left to say
We should never have thrown the dice

Everything
is a trap.
Everywhere I go
the monster is waiting
to eat me alive.
The sensation starts
on the inside, in my
Stomach,
turning and churning.
It moves to my
heart,
causing a beat that could
be heard around the world,
gripping terror
speeding up the thumps.
From there,
It can reach my whole body.
My head,
whispering words of discouragement
My hands,
trembling and spilling everything.
My legs,
refusing to let me run
away from the monster.
And so
I go only where I am
safe.
I don't go out
because the monster that is
me
always knows where I am.
It's all in my head
which makes it harder to
fight off.  I have
no chance.
I will never
escape
this
trap.

A boy told me he loved me the other day.
I looked at him, confused,
and told him not to love me.
Not to waste something so valuable on something so insignificant.
So he simply put his arms around my broken bones and told me instead,
“I adore you.
I adore all your quirks,
I adore all your dreams,
I adore all your scars,
I adore all your faults,
I adore you.”

It is a lighter burden to be adored than loved.

Sometimes I miss you so much that I cannot breathe.  Who am I kidding? I always miss you that much.  My lungs close themselves off, afraid of the words that might leave with each exhalation, afraid of the confessions I might make, afraid of the lies I might tell.  I can’t breathe, I can’t eat, and I can’t think.  You steal my breath.  You tie my stomach in knots. You invade my thoughts. You take all of me without asking and don’t offer any in return.  So I’m left here with a gaping whole in my chest from the heart that you refuse to give back.  Then you dare me to come and get it.  You laugh and smile in that charming way.  Next thing I know I am pressed against you, trying to take my heart from where it is hidden behind your back, my lips pushing against yours, trying to find the place where you keep your secrets.

Just last night
I had a strange dream;
in it; you were an ocean and I was a stream.

My love flowed to you in an endless supply.
It flowed in the stream and could never run dry.

As I flowed into you,
we blended as one,
sparkling and blue under the warm summer sun.

Together we shared our hopes and our dreams,
we loved one another and created new streams.

The cycle went on,
and so it should be,
the new streams flowed down and into the sea.

I will never forget that wonderful dream,
where, in it;  you were the ocean and I was the stream.

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