I must remind myself this is real
I'm living
these moments I live
living by the ocean

Flash through my eyes
It's like holding onto a leafs stem
in the middle of a hurricane

Don't want the city lights to reach an end

It's only the beginning
of a rainy night

Passing cars
The sea calls to my heart

A fire
A rain

Love from a place
almost stabbed me to death

I feel my blood push and pulling
within the waves

I must hold on

remind me this is reality

Moments like these pass too quickly

Visions
Orange hues burning like a fever

The night can hold so much pain
filled with chances,
bright lights

hi hello
what's your darkest truth

black holes
******* in all common sense
feeling a little like outer space
my blood filled with stardust

name me
like an unknown
alien

I'll show you the galaxy

I've got no home
everywhere I go

temporary
floors

hey
are you still hurting

I should've known
you would hurt me

why am I so naive

never thought you would make me feel so small
so gone

I'm not going back

don't talk
don't think
don't look at me


I'm rotting
inside my own heart

thank you

for killing me

sitting on a used bed
your presence disappeared into the pillow sheets

opened a journal
like a treasure map

running around
trying to get me back

hiding inside a box
without a lock

almost died
I cried
bled
felt the end of the world

everyone knows me
that's not the truth

pages
I spilled myself on

under a lake

asking myself
why does my heart
feel so heavy

can't hold a pen

I hear odd sounds
as if I lived underwater

presents
a book filled with empty pages
standing in front of me

I should know

I'm running away
from myself

I know myself
that's not the truth

////
don't come looking around for someone who doesn't exist
don't go loving someone who doesn't feel the same
\\

sky's so cold
reminds me of her
she always blew me a cold kiss

eating ice cream when it's zero degrees

ice queen
she covers the sky
with an independent gloom

I'm waiting on the snow
she gives the best shows
wearing glittery shoes

eerie feeling
you aren't here with me
I almost felt you beside me

I need to let her go
move on

let the sky fall

All the noise in my head
Doesn't let me sleep

I used to make lists
REASONS TO LIVE
it was filled with names
reached the bottom
didn't worry about them

I'm making the list
can't find someone to hold
nothing comes to mind
worried for myself

never did I write my name


I don't know how to feel
fear
guilt

worried about my life
and loved ones

I don't know

It seems all meaningless


(Lists have caught on fire)

I'm dying inside
trying to convince myself it's all lies