I went for a walk
To the gym
Best to save gas
As poor as I am

Saw the Warriors win
No surprise there

And I walked back home
There was a large leak
Beside the library
Water gushing out onto
The pavement and street

I hope the Department of water and power
Got there to fix the leak

And then I ventured into a suburb
Those evening walks in the quiet suburbs
Quite magical

A man with his phone
A walking stick and his dog

And as I write this poem
I slipped into these *******
Quite comfortable I may add

I saw a kitty in the window
A black and white kitty
In the window
Relaxing on the window sill

And I saw a woman on her front porch
Was she inside or outside?
I'm not quite sure
Pretty certain she was outside

Then there was the beautiful
Asian American woman with her dog
Oh goodness those Asian women
Many here in Southern California
And my do I often think of them

Lol but the chances of me meeting
One are slim I suppose

Ah well

Coming into my neighborhood
I saluted the large American flag
On the house with the camera

And as I turned up my street
The corner house had little lights
On top of their fence
A strange configuration

My body is just a plain earth body
Not desired by any woman

Oh well
Tao is wise mother

Blah

Why Do
We need a Day
To recognize Father's
Or Mothers?

Chr
Aren't Birthdays enough?

It's a stupid holiday
And no
I don't recognize it

F Father's Day

Dad, you're a decent guy

But **** Father's Day

You're the one
Who helped teach me
Not to expression emotion

So *******
On this day

I live inside
A hologram

Matter is not
The reality

Consciousness
Is the true reality

The emptiness
Is overwhelming

This imbalance thing
Has bothered me
For quite a time

The old man reads the paper
Over there

Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah

This planet
Does not make sense

I am not
Making a connection
With others

I have made a connection
With YouTube however

Thanks YouTube
For endless entertainment
Thank you to the creators

I don't know
What I would do
Without your site

Thank you
Thank you

Are you misunderstood?
Ignored?

Not liked
By your own family?

Are you poor?

If you care,
This is just to say
I can relate

I am told
I have to choose
A "career"

In a dying economy

And I laugh
I laugh

Does he not know
There is only poverty

For people my age

Does he not know
The middle class
Has been decimated
In this country?

I will not work my forty
Hour work week

I do not buy into
A dying system

I have not had anything to eat
Since this afternoon

Do you know
What it's like
To be very hungry?

I don't
But I think
One day I will

I dream of another place

I dream that my wife
Is a Kurdish woman

That I fight alongside
The YPG against ISIS

I have a community
I am not isolated

Like in America

I am a good guy
I work out
And not bad looking

I want to meet a woman
i want to meet a woman

A woman to be my friend

I hope to meet a woman
Who will be my friend one day

I heard her whisper
I'm quite sure
She was
Speaking of me

No
I received an A-
In senior seminar
And provided

A sound defense
Of my thesis

I received a B+
In a college statistics course

I know quite a bit
About current
Middle Eastern affairs
History, philosophy
And world affairs

No,
I'm Not stupid

I may have
Asked the same question twice
Because I was tired

Stop whispering about others
It is a filthy
And nasty little habit

All Employees
Of The Russian embassy in London
Have left the UK

High ranking Russians
Are being taken to underground command centers

Putin has not been seen in the last week
It is likely he is in the Yamantau moutain complex

I hope
There isn't a big war

If you are tired
Tired and lonely
And you feel like nothing changes

If you feel like people are lousy
And disrespectful

Just remember if you show love to others
Beautiful things will happen

I use to talk about my feelings with my therapist
I was planning to keep seeing her for many years
It was the companionship I enjoyed the most

Just one hour a week, but enjoyable nonetheless

Now those days have gone away

And on the internet I stay
Looking for some friendly chats

Life can be sad at times
Can't it Matt?

One day soon they will be rationing food
Telling us where are bodies can move

To those mountains I will go
Life is hard
This I know

There are
A million programs
To choose from

I choose the emptiness
The emptiness is misunderstood

It lays low in silence

It is often mocked

Some choose to observe

Non self
They cannot understand

Emptiness cannot
Be described
Cannot be quantified
Or qualified

Is it limitless
And nameless

I see the same
Empty world

People acting
In an empty world

Consciousness the true reality
They spend their energy
To acquire material goods
At the expense
Of their health

Blah blah blah blah
I've heard a bunch
Of randomness conversations

A million different faces
I go here
Then there

All the things
They want
And try to be

I let the emptiness
Envelop me

Mark 12:30-31

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no commandment greater than these.”

Well I talked with this person
About being a Christian
He explained he was agnostic

And told me that
He thought
The teachings
Of Jesus
Were wise

But he could not
Believe in the
****** birth
Or resurrection

I told him that was
Fine with me
And we could
Still be friends

I told him
"It's so easy, don't you know"
To show the love that Jesus shows"

He laughed and
Said I was a bit
Of an idiot

Nobody cares
He told me
And he said
I should
Just mind my
Own business

Don't go out of
Your way he told me

Well I told him
That in my life
I have found
That most people
Appreciated
The love I showed

Like how I always ask
How the gardener
And his family is
And how I offer
Him fresh fruit too

In the Christian's mind
Every thought
And action
Being written down

I told him according to Ecclesiastes 12:14

"For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil."

Well he enjoyed being
An agnostic
And I respected him
For it too

God can't be
Proved or disproved
I know

I just told him
I rather liked the
Idea of all lives
Being written down
Into eternity

And I told him
Well I just thirst
For judgment

People have done
Such evil
And terrible acts
And didn't care
At all

I told him
That I was quite
Pleased with a judgment day

With those people
Who had repented
Being separated
From those who had not

When in the Book Of Revelation
The Angel of the Lord
Came and reaped the earth
Separating the harvest
From the chaff
The chaff cast into the fire

Well he'll always be
An agnostic
And that's fine with me

He respects Jesus
And what he taught

If you're an agnostic
Or atheist too
I do respect you

I know many people
Will mock me
For being a Christian
And I'm okay with that

I need money again
I don't have the money again

What a ******* up system
I work my whole life
Go to college and do well there
Get a credential and get straight A's

And I get absolutely nothing
No job and no money!

The 24 Hour Bus
Sheltering the homeless

Of the Silicon Valley

When they get on
The driver reminds them
Not to put their feet
On the seats

And to keep their heads
Against the windows

In this documentary
One man shouts
Racial slurs

He is a paying customer
And thinks he can
Speak rudely
To the homeless

I dedicate this poem
To the homeless
Your quiet
Daily struggle
To survive

And I am so grateful
To live in a home
And have food and water

I may be completely alone
Almost all of the time
But at least I have my home

I have my stuffed animal to hold

And all my life
I just wanted a female friend
To hang out with
Seems like I am never to get
What I need

I watched myself
From space

Eating, sleeping
Going through
These motions

This is quite a thing

I may as well be
That guy
Floating in some galaxy

I look up at the stars
Wave to him

He waves to me
We are one in the same

Although we exist
In two different places

Although we occupy
Two different spaces

He wonders what
It would be like
To have a female friend

And so do I

We hope we meet
Our goddess of the galaxy

One must remain mysterious

If one does not trust enough
One will not be trusted

I extend some trust
But only the minimum
If people have shown
Themselves
To be trustworthy

And no
I do not want
To shake hands

Why do we always shake
Hands here in America?

A respectful bow will suffice

You can find me in my room
My refuge in a home
I have lived in for too long

Eating my bowl of hamhock soup with beans
Recording Churchill's speeches on my iphone
What a good man he was

We must stand up to evil
Stand up to those who threaten liberal democracies

But in America today
Our greatest enemy lies within, not without

Our own government not holding fast
To the principles upon which it was founded

False illusions that this economic situation
Is under control

Like bailouts,stimulus packages, jobs bills,
Regulation in industry, unconstitutional power grabs,
Dismissal of historical laws, changes in the legislative process
And changes in checks and balaces of power

We have a false sense of security
Big government is hurting us
Not helping us

TSA pat downs
NSA privacy intrusions

Destabilazation
Over arching centralized government model
Begins to take control

A New World Order
Is what they have planned
No more national sovereignty

I'm not going to the FEMA camp

Another day no job
What's the point
In trying anymore

Maybe I should go be a slave
At some cash register somewhere
Making minimum wage

Hahahah
With all my education
I have no money

"Have a great day"
Or "Have a nice day"

It's just a day
It's neither great
Nor small

Stupid people
Repeat the same things
Over and over

Do you know anyone
That leads a meaningless
And unexamined life?

I do
Simply content
To do nothing
Until the day they die
A miserable waste
Their entire life
Amounts to nothing

These idiots
Live in a fantasy world

Where everything is "A Okay"

Not realizing that
Their convenient
American life
May be over one day

10 cats having a ball
Having a ball
With a ball of ice

Isn't it adorable
And isn't it nice?

Licking it
They say yummm

They like cold water
In their kitty tums

They are kitties
Playing with an ice ball!

I have 80 followers
And I am following 80 poets

Oh my gosh
So cool
The number of followers
I have

Matches the number
Of poets I am following

There were deer
Behind the driving range

Geese
And a squawking
Sparrow hawk too

All on the golf course
What a beautiful place

I hit the ball well

I think I will play again soon

Wonderful
To be alone in nature

"Hello There"

I May say
If I were to meet
You on any day

What a strange man
I might seem to be

And maybe
I'll give it a try

To show you
Something reminiscent
Of the love
Jesus showed to me

I'm just a guy
With an akward shoulder
I like to lay about in parks

And sometimes
All too often
These dachshunds
Will make a loud bark

I hope to be hugged
And to be loved one day
I have a bit of an akward shoulder

But that's okay

I would like
To find a female companion

Please give me a hug
And isn't it nice

I served you a pumkin latte
With cinnamon and spice

Yes I have a cracked screen
On my computer and iphone

But I am content to be alone

Chipping golf *****
Is what I do

Hopefully there will always be
Enough food for me and you

It would be wise to prepare
To have a year or two of food stored
In my cupboards there

They have only a few months stored
And it is not wise

Prepare for terrible times
Or meet your demise

And isn't everything going great
Until one day the illusion
Of a stable economy is shattered

The Tao that can be trodden is not the enduring and unchanging Tao.
The name that can be named is not the enduring and unchanging name.
(Conceived of as) having no name,
It is the Originator of heaven and earth; (conceived of as) having a Name,
It is the Mother of all things.

Always without desire we must be found,
If its deep mystery we would sound;
But if desire always within us be,
Its outer fringe is all that we shall see.

Under these two aspects, it is really the same;
But as development takes place, it receives the different names.
Together we call them the Mystery.
Where the Mystery is the deepest is the gate of all that
Is subtle and wonderful.

Watching a documentary on the Cold War
Playing a game on my Ipad

Later
I will sit in on the bench
At the beginning of the nature trail

Yes I spend my hours alone
My weeks alone too

I am a plain and simple man

You can find me lying against the old log
Underneath the oaks
My tan colored pants blend in with the environment

The birds they are my friends
I have a dull expression on my face

The Tao is like water
It nourishes all things
And it is essential to life

Just as water is essential to life
So is love

I try to be a loving person
It is important to me

I often hike the trail
Next to the monastery

I think it's kind of stupid
And I think it's kind
Of funny

When I hear people
Bla bla blabbing
About the money

And I'm just
Not that concerned
About the money

I think it is
Awfully foolish
And a bit funny

How people
Of all ages
Can't stop blabbing
About money

The FED can print more and more
But any layman
Can see what's in store

Our currency is debased
I should learn to enjoy canned foods
Maybe I'll have to learn
To enjoy the taste

A 40 hour work week
What a bunch of b*

I sat around the house
And filled my belly full

The less you work
The more these
Money grubbers
Dislike you

I'd rather to other things
Than make money

And I think it's awfully foolish
And I think it is kind of funny
How people keep blabbing
Blabbing about the money

I was born into wealth
A middle class
American family

And Id be content
To live in the park
Lighting incense candles
In the dark

Doing the minimum
And being lazy
That's not
What most people do
And that's not okay
To those who worship money

Well to these judgemental people
I'm here to say
Forget you

It's my life
And I'm going to do
What I want to do

Born into wealth
Yep it's true

I'll let others
Be worried
About the money

I'm here to inherit
My parents' wealth
Relax, And do things
That are good
For my health

So go ahead
And judge me
For not caring
That much
About money

Happy Friday
The email was signed

How is today
Any different than
Monday?

It's not

There is no
Fun party

Or girlfriend

Or anything different
About today

Just another day

Thankful to live in America
While it is still safe
And peaceful

One day it may not be

Well
Happy Friday
Or whatever

I'll be in my room alone again
Watching my show

Oh well
I suppose life
Is just a ****** deal

The loneliness of life
Crushes me
In a way

Thousands upon thousands
Of hours of documentaries

Podcasts
Some reading

That's my life
I have a selfish life

I once substituted
It barely paid anything

Mom put 100 bucks
In my account for food

A brain
A brain in the world

Ugh

Well I'm thankful
For intellectual life

Last night
I watched a guy
Play a Perfect Dark Mod
With Golden Eye levels

He created simulations
To play against
In a free for all

Today I watched
A Halo 3 AI battle
Spartans vs Elites

One absurd event
Leads to another

I workout
But I don't get
Big muscles

I came into
My fleshlight yesterday

Human life is sad
Stupid

Oh there is the paper there
Health care costs
To rise in 2017

Everything costs
And i have no money

Who cares?

Why do we need
Two expensive BMWs?

I don't know

Money is power
And I'm paid
By the hour

The expression
On my face
Appears quite dour

I don't work
I don't care

I hardly made any money
When I did work
So I figured
There was no point

I would rather read
At the library

I find these people
Obnoxious

I'll just inherit
Their assets
When they pass away

I hate this place
These people
Are annoying

Trump
Is he
The last American president?

"Abraham Lincoln is smiling
Knowing that Trump has come
To save America"

This according to some actor

I've learned not to care
What others think
And ignore
Their mean insults
Some people just ****

Some people just never have money
And I think I am one of those

****!

Oh well, Jesus was poor right?  
Lol, I'm f* poor
And not really caring anymore

I try to show love to others
Like Jesus told me to
And I am doing so much better
At not having hate in my heart
And when I do, I ask for forgiveness
So it's cool

Just a plain old earth body
Unattractive and not hugged by anyone

The life of the mind is pure bliss!
Hehe I love my podcasts and Avocados
I might as well enjoy them
While California still has any water to grow them

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes , slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
Cause you loved her too much, and you dived to deep

When I listen to this sone entitled, "Let Her Go"
I thought of her

She was not a lover
But a companion
I shared time with her
That was precious to me
Precious to her too

I used to share my poems with her

Now I have to let her go
I won't ever seen her again!

But the time we shared
Is written down into eternity

Her smile, her smile!
The joy she had

The things she said are burned into my mind
There was, "the all day sitter from 8 to 8"
The build-a-bear
And oh how she said, "Oh Matt"
When I kiddingly said I would have to live in a park

The time we had was dear to me

I will have to let you go

All I have is the mountains now...

Liz!!

(Yells her name)
(Let her go Matt)
(I'm trying, I'm trying!)

Watch over my family Jesus
And watch over the good people of this earth
Who try to do what is right

I was at the gym this morning about 2:20 am
Then I came home for a bit of breakfast
Toast and cereal
An avocado too
Who doesn't love an avocado?

I listened and recorded
A Buddhist talk on tranquility

Then it was off to the golf course
35, 50, and 80 yard pitch shots

This afternoon
In the local park
Meditating
While I listened to the Shurangama mantra

Lying in the grass
I watched bees pollinating small flowers
A mother played with her daughter

As I left I saw a beautiful asian woman in her backyard

I came home and cleaned a few golf clubs
And recorded a lecture given by a speaker
Who spoke at the National WWII musem
About important military decisions
FDR made during the war

I also began a recording of a lecture
About how the Red Army defeated Germany

Then it was off the golf course
I chipped *****

There was a mother and her daughters chipping
And another lady too

I accidentally picked up her yellow ball
Thinking it was mine
She said it was hers

I apologized and told her I have a yellow ball just like that
She didn't say anything in response
I wish she would have chatted with me a bit
And said not to worry
But that's okay
Peace be with her

Then I went to the range
Where I hit 7 irons and gap wedges
3/4 swing
Good extension on the back swing
Follow through to the target
Good crisp shots
Hit off of sandy turf

I came home to my family
I love them very much

Jesus please forgive me
For the hate I have had in my heart
Please forgive me for the evil thoughts that I had

Sometimes it has just been so hard for me
To continue to live here
I love my family so much
I really do

But it's not fair
I've tried so hard to do what I would like to do
Well, I'll just keep trying

And in whatever I do,
I should remember to try to show the love
That Jesus showed to us

Freely given love
It is in giving that we receive

Well, I'm alone again
I wish I had a girlfriend to hold
Maybe one day
Until then I will have to hold my pillow

Youtube
It's animal attack videos

And hotel ***
At 4 a.m.
Caught on tape

The next is hearing neighbors
Having *** through intercom

What's so great
About *** or Intimacy
Anyway

I guess I'll never know
Women ignore me

Plus I'm poor
So I can't date anyway

Better just to
Forget about it

Just *******
Better not to
Invest emotionally

Human beings
Desiring, needing
Wanting ******* and ***

I simply *******
When the urge arises
Content to be alone

And to live at home

No one could see me
Behind the fence

So I squatted down
And took a sh**
On the ground

It was too far
To the park restroom
And I had a bit of the runs

(A bit too many dried prunes)

And that's not fun

So I tropped trousers
And squatted down
And took
A semi-solid B.M.
Upon the ground

And with my hand
I buried it underneath
The soft sand

I am a man of the earth earth
And I have every right
To go on it

Don't Look At Me
I don't have the money
And I think
It is more than funny

That I haven't learned
To love the money

I'm paid $128 dollars
A day
And in today's economy

That is barely any pay

So don't look at me
I don't have the money

And yes
I think it's funny

Strengthens Enamel
Removes acid from wine and fruits
Helps prevent tartar build up

Please Please Please
Stay away from those whitening toothpastes!
They contain chemicals that harm your teeth

Thank you
Have a pleasant and enjoyable evening

Have to let this food digest
First I had broiled salmon
Then some chocolate covered raisins
Then some sparkling mineral water
Crunchy carrots are tasty too
Some more water
Finally I topped it off
With a bowl of shredded wheat
I have to remind myself to let the food digest
Before I keep eating!

6 feet, 172 pounds
I think I just gained two pounds
Well, I'll just to extra sit-ups ups tomorrow

What Happened To Friends?

Another day alone
Another weekend at the gym

No friends close by
To speak of

I used to have three friends
Now just one

Another isolated
Southern Californian

My goodness
This is dumb

I'll listen to podcasts
Then go driving again

Pleasuring oneself
Should be no sin

People across the globe
Are enjoying my poetry

Well that is really
Something else

Maybe just a few
But that is exciting to me

I see people
I hear sounds
But these people
Don't talk to me

Where are they going?
And what are they doing?
Who knows

Some have work
In the morning

While others will stay
Up late
For a hot and steamy
Night of college ***

Good to know
That that turkey wrap
Can be relied upon

Quality turkey
And spinach

Nigel the dog
Has his own twitter

He is owned by Monty Don
British television presenter
Writer and speaker
On horticulture

I jump from one thought
To the next

The ideas have
No connection

Just as a day
Is remembered
In small segments

Random
And usually disconnected

I don't know
Any women

I'm a kind gentleman

I would like to make her
Baked salmon and green beans
Pour her a bottle of wine

I'm taken aback by her beauty
She is intelligent and loving
She enjoys hiking and knitting

Literature and poetry

We are friends and we
Hold each other on the couch

It feels good to be cared for
I don't need to explain anything to her

I love her and she held me
As I cried

It wasn't fair to me I said
All that time alone

She is my goddess and protector
Strong powerful legs
And a toned fit bottom

She does pilates and runs
She swims and meditates

And with my tongue
I pleasure her
And she is so grateful

My friend, my protector
And my goddess

The ***** trade flourishes
The Taliban does too

Obama leaves
A few thousand
Forces there

Still there is
Nothing he can do

And a 54 year old grandmother
Defends her village well
With any luck
A bullet from her gun
Will send the Taliban to hell

A tremendous waste of money

Electric plants
That are too expensive
For the Afghans to run

Not enough Pilots
Means

700 million dollars
Of helicopters and planes
Rotting In the sun

Ego is a social construct

Stories are told about us
We tell ourselves these stories to reinforce
Who we think we are

I am going my own way
I am not something I can see as an object

The self includes everyone you meet
That is the true way

Comparisons abound
Better or Worse

Everybody has a different map of the universe

We are brought into being dependent on causes
We totally lack essence or inherent existence

With each encounter we take on a part of each other

We have trouble accepting the idea of no self
It does not mean we don't exist

Am I form or am I boundlessness??
All five streams of body and mind our boundless
Our form, our feelings and perceptions
Are free of boundaries

You cannot identify me by nailing down some part of my being
We are intimately related with all causes and conditions

We are continually creating each other

Die to our old self
And rise to our new self
There is no permanent seperate self

Dimensions of a self include
Social security, drivers license, etc
So people can be held accountable

If the buddha said the self did exist
He would have been teaching permanence
If he said the self did not exist
He would have been teaching nihilism

I am you
You are me
We are part of each other

Boddhi Dharma
When asked who he was
Did not know who he was

Don't rely on a fixed idea (not knowing)

The teacher suggests on
Give up on any Idea on finding out Who You are
Practice loving kindness (bodhichitta)
Drop the walls of your own particular club

Pray to be relieved of the burden of ego
Or Narcissism
Remember All the people who have helped you
These people are a part of you

Thus shall you think of this fleeting world
A phantom, a dream

Self and no-self
Two sides of the same thing
Accepting them as concepts
Give up
The tight clasp of who you think you are

You had to leave me
You just had to

You prayed to God
And it was his will

To do what was best
For you and your family

Funny how God
Always wants what is best
For us, and not for others

Your higher power
Is so proud
Of how selfish
You have been

You ******* hedonist

I want ***
I want a girlfriend

But the world
Doesn't give a ****
About what we want

I was too nice
Too kind
Too trusting

Thanks for teaching me
About what a terrible place
The world is

For teaching me
Never to trust people
And betraying for trust

Thanks for taking a very
MEANINGFUL HOUR
FROM MY LIFE!

Yes I'm angry
And I have a right to be

Happy a Merry Christmas
And all that good ****
A very merry christmas

Go to your *******
Church service

I no longer care for you!
At all

As I know
You never truly
Cared for me.....

Why didn't you say
That you would miss
Our meetings?

Who knows
You're a busy person

I'm sure
I don't cross your mind

Have a good life
I hope you remember

How unfair you were
And how you deceived
A kind Christian man
Who was grateful to you

I hope you remember

How you failed
To warn me

That you would leave
At any moment

You failed
In your duty

With all your degrees
And state license
You failed

I wanted a once a week meeting
It was important to me

As I told you
I'm not willing
To see someone else

How could you
After I told
My intimate thoughts
And feelings

Shame on you
Pray for mercy
And for forgiveness

Or face the wrath
Of an angry God

The Young American
That's me

Wonders what it would
Be like

To have more than three
Good friends
That he sees
Only once every few months

Such a good human being
I am

And yet I cannot find
The companionship
Of other people

And I don't know
Where to go
Or how to meet
People

Maybe meetup.com?
I joined there once

I can tell people
Such interesting
Things about myself

Like how
I was able to pay off my car
After four years

I put about 9 grand down
It is a 2010 Civic

And I can tell them about
How I borrowed
18,000 to get
A credential

And how I can't
Even find part time
Work as a teacher

And I can tell them
How I enjoy avocados
And every kind of fruit

And I can also tell them
How ******* we all are
Here in America
:)

The New York Federal Reserve is moving
A lot of its operations to Chicago

The federal government is buying 62 million rounds of ammo
Commonly used in AR-15 semi-automatic rifles for training purposes

NORAD is moving back into Cheyenne Mountain
Because it is hardened against an EMP attack

Jade Helm training exercises

America is doomed
America will burn
Burn Burn Burn
When the atomic bombs are dropped

A good hubby puts his wife's needs first!
Yes, he should treat his wife as his goddess
Every woman deserves a man
That is devoted to her

I would like to know
If you care about me
And love me as a friend

You know
I guess my problem
Is that ultimately
I don't care very much for my physical body

I think women get to have more fun then men
As they are multi *******
And can have fun with vibrators and ******

I would have liked to have fun like that
Being a guy is lame

Besides
It is highly unlikely
An attractive woman will like me

I am only 6 inches *****
And most beautiful women I talk to
Say that want 8 inches or more

I don't think that highly
Of the life you created for us God
Why couldn't you have come up with something better?

The more I live life
The more I see it as a computer program
Or matrix

The seasons repeat themselves
I go to work
Which is somewhat fulfilling
And sure, I enjoy my hobbies

But I'll probably never meet
A kind female friend
Or it will be years and years until I do

How I am I ever supposed to feel love
From another person
When I don't really like my body

I don't feel attractive
And I'm not

I am alone
Always alone
I am a stone
Left alone

Left alone to listen to
Thousands of hours
Of podcasts

I'm like a computer
Or android
Not loved very much at all
Left alone

I begin to die slowly
Waiting for a hug that never comes

Women don't pay me such attention
It must be because I'm not attractive

Oh well
Now I sound like a complainer

But I'm learning
I'm learning to always be alone
To believe in myself
And know myself

The world is a terribly ******* up place
Where thousands starve every day

I should just be grateful

Do you know how terrible it is
In a body you don't really want?

It Must be fun to be a woman
To have *******
And a ******
To have toned and **** legs

But I'm just this thing
This ugly thing

I would like to be judged by you
How would you rate me on a scale of 1 to 10
In terms of attractiveness?

I'm sure it would be very average or low
And I'm sure if we took a sample of women in your age group
And social standing they would agree

I might as well wear a t shirt
That says in capital letters UGLY