Why was I never good enough for you?

You let me go so eagerly, so easily, like 2 plus 2.

For me, Nights are filled with tears, wine, and loneliness.
I’m so bitter that not even alcohol can take away this **** stress.

The stress of you. And me. You and me that I wanted to be a we,
But all you could think about was being free.

No other man can compete.
It’s making me sick how I feel so
INCOMPLETE.

Without you. I’m learning to live without you by my side,
But deep down all I want to do is cry.

The soft touch of your hands touching my thighs
That’s what I miss the most.
When you bite my bottom lip and adrenaline calms my pride
That’s what I miss the most.
Love or lust, I’d question over and over what this was. But you were in my life.
That’s what I miss the most.
The *** was exhilarating and all things good that life has to offer. But I find myself missing the little more often.
The soft snore you let out when sleeping, the laughs about this or that.
That’s what I miss the most.
I miss you.

Dreams.
Are they messages or desire?
I cry
When I see you in my unconscious state and reach out and then
Gone.
Like a big check on payday or the bubbles I used to chase as a child.
Are you supposed to be here? With me? Were we supposed to build a family
Where you work and come home to a home cooked meal and a wife that loves you?
That’s me. I’m that wife, but you can’t
See.
Your reach for her, but yet here I am longing for your body and mind, mind and body.
But that’s all in a dream.
That erases when i open my eyes.