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Mandi Oct 2017
Oh beautiful star
  how you shine upon them
  captivated by all that you are
  they lose sight of themselves
Oh beautiful star
  so full of your gloriousness
  they can't see that you're marred
  just like the rest of us
Oh beautiful star
  so high above us all
  but your beauty, it scars
  it's dangerous to love you
Oh beautiful star
  keep shining on brightly
  you will always be a star
  and we're only human
Mandi Oct 2017
A porcelain doll of such perfection
  how they love your skin so fair
  and the depths of your dark eyes
  and your long and flowing hair
What an adored, beautiful angel
  truly the perfect porcelain doll
  but on the inside you are hollow
  there is not beauty there at all
A porcelain doll of imperfection
  with beauty that lies skin deep
  there adoration of you is a
  misconception
  a tragedy for which I weep
For I know that you are no angel
  that you have fallen far from grace
  you are just another devil in disguise
  with a perfect porcelain face
And when that porcelain shatters
  they still refuse to see
  all the cracks in your character
  that are very plain to me
A perfect, porcelain goddess
  an ever radiant porcelain queen
  how they worship the mirage of you
  blind to the truth that I have seen
I wrote this several years ago out of deep anger and scorn toward someone that in truth I love wholeheartedly. I grew up competing for my parents affection and whereas I could do no right my sister could do no wrong. It brought great hurt that turned into bitterness and ultimately destroyed us. I am happy to say that we have rebuilt our relationship into something beautiful, but for a long time we barely spoke to each other.
Mandi Oct 2017
Was it love?
Is that an accurate description?
It wasn't enough;
we couldn't hold it in our hands.
In my heart it was merely sand,
imprisoned in an hourglass
escaping through the holes you punctured with every betrayal and broken vow,
yet you say let's fix it now?
Duct tape can't fix a broken love,
can't mend a heart that never felt enough,
can't fix the broken promises and shattered dreams;
there's not enough thread to mend these seams.
I was a china doll until I shattered,
cold and fragile, if your word mattered,
but you only knew how to warm the bed;
you didn't care to warm my heart.
Still wonder how it all fell apart?
Yes we thought we had forever
but even if I can be glued back together
love tarnished is just not good enough;
but again, I ask, was it even love?
Mandi Oct 2017
As I lay me down to sleep
   in the quiet of the night
   I loose these tears I'm meant to keep
   into a pillow, soft and white

As I lay me down to bed
   in satin sheets of yellow gold
   thoughts of you will fill my head
   and all the love we couldn't hold

As I lay me down to rest
   wishing you were by my side
   I think on how we did our best
   but in the end were still denied

As I lay me down to dream
   just as the darkness settles in
   I pray our love will be redeemed
   that we can find what might have been
This is something I wrote back in 2015 when my SO and I were considering separation and I lay in our bed at night all alone.

— The End —