you never let me win
with you it's always
a fight
and apparently i'm never
right
you can't just let things go
and i suppose i'm just as bad
i push you trying to win
trying to have my way
for a moment
we're both acting like kids
but you never just say
drop it
you have to be right
even when you're wrong
and don't get me wrong
i love you to death
but arguing with you
is leaving me out of breath
can you just not for once?
can you just let it be
because i wouldn't argue
if you didn't ALWAYS disagree
and sometimes i don't tell you things
because you're like this
and how could i tell you it'll end up in fists
and i know i'm bad at it
and i haven't confronted you
but i don't want to make you mad
but it's gotten really bad
to the point where i like time away from you
better than time with you
are you mad because i'm leaving
i won't be too far
i just need room for breathing
need room for change
and staying here would be the definition of insane
doing the same thing
everyday
expecting things to somehow change
and i don't think you understand my need
maybe you have it too
but my soul is starving
i'm not trying to leave you behind
i'm just running on a new path trying to find
who i am supposed to be
and there's still time
to catch up to me
things won't be as bad as they seem
i just wish that you could see

I was there turning red like apples. I forgot how hard I hold your hands but I remember how much I didn't want to let go. It is perhaps for I have spent too much of my time reaching out from six feet under reality that buried my deepest desires. No matter how much I try to flatten up the curve across my cheek, it won't follow me. Maybe it got bored of being flat, like I got bored of breathing the life I wondered too much about.

And so I continue writing this passage in my head and repeat this to myself as if I'm in a movie. Where I'm that pathetic dying chick who found her long lost spirit. I touched your arm lightly. I swear even the earth will never be as happy as me when the sun turn her way. As I was drowning in the sadness I seed, I realized I never see into someone's eyes this deep and not feeling the urge to swim to the surface.

While your fingers scanned my waist, I grow a heart. Because my waist needs to tell your arms how much it longs for something to hold them together. As so it can love the warmth of your akin against mine.

After standing tall for all these times, I jump into the water.  I know nothing but to drown into you.

And please, don't rescue me.

I want to be lost inside the moment where I'm the mermaid. And you are the sea.

I didn't realize it at the time
as I watched her pluck the rose petals
and simply reply "He loves me"
with each one
how easy it was for her
to destroy something beautiful
for no reason at all
and I fear one day she will succeed
at doing so to herself.

Sometimes,
     You have to let go
of the ones who take your breath away
      so you can breathe again
If you dont do this
     they just may
drag you into the murky depths
      of the abyss