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stars inches apart
or light years from each other
so close yet so far
I can tell
By the side-glances
Head-tilts
Awkward pauses
Over-explanations
Forced laughs
Empty texts

That you don't actually want me around.
Do you pity me?
See that I'm just some sad excuse for a friend that you're too nice to abandon?

I'm sorry, then.
I'm sorry for being a burden friend.
Love me hard
Love me so it hurts
Love me 'till you can't
Love me forever after
I am fine
Go ahead, Turn blind eyes
Ignore the signs

'Cause I am fine
Theres no mental decline
And its not like I hate this life of mine

I'm fine
Totally fine inside the mind

When I say "goodbye"
For the last time
Don't gasp and cry

Couldn't you see past the glass lies?
Couldn't you see that I wasn't truly "fine?"

Or were you willing to simply stand by
Only caring to care when I had already died.
I'm still a child,
in most senses.

I would be one to say no child deserves to die.
And so I don't deserve to die.
Don't say your parents don't love you.
I wish my parents loved me.
They're not liars, at least not in that sense,
But I fear that they love the concept of their daughter more.

Don't paint them to be loveless monsters.
They're not, I know they're not.
Thats what makes it hurt more.
The fact that they hold so much love
That I am simply unworthy of.

Don't you love them?
I do,
But aren't I allowed to love myself more?
Just to think of how I have to chose between their love and my happiness.
Listen
While I cry to you all the wrong of the world.

Hold me
While you whisper to me all of her beauty.
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