it's weird that Brits say "chips" instead of "french fries",
and it's sad that your dad says "you're hopeless" instead of "I love you".
it's weird that the sun pokes up out of the ground at different times everyday,
and it's sad that it hurts more when you poke your finger than when you run the blade down your skin.
it's weird that the sun still shines when it's 3 degrees outside,
and it's sad that 3 am is filled with thoughts of agony and your pillow is stained with the salt water from your eyes.
it's weird that there's 365 days in a year but it dreads on feeling like 1,000,
and it's sad that the pills that are supposed to make you feel better for your depression only make you want to swallow 365 more to make the pain go away.
it's weird that you're forced to go to school with ignorant teenagers that have no idea what they want in life besides getting high,
and it's sad that those teenagers romanticize self harm and depression like it's beautiful to have demons in your mind eating away your sanity.

My wife, a psychiatrist, sleeps
through my reading and writing in bed,
the half-whispered lines,
manuscripts piled between us,

but in the deep part of night
when her beeper sounds
she bolts awake to return the page
of a patient afraid he'll **** himself.

She sits in her robe in the kitchen,
listening to the anguished voice
on the phone. She becomes
the vessel that contains his fear,

someone he can trust to tell
things I would tell to a poem.

Remember when
we were so comfortable
underneath the mid day sun
at one of our favourite festivals

the bands had long stopped
but the music still danced in our hearts
lifting our spirits to the heavens
and giving praise to this beautiful day.

we had all gathered together
but not to say goodbye;

to lay in the sweet grass
and
hold on, by the tips of our fingers
for just a few more hours...
and

get a little high

with the sun's rays ablaze and
no current riding our open backs
your skin was like wildfire
captivating, shimmering in the light

those UV rays got nothin' on you

i laid at your side with a bag
filled of sweet & sticky treats
..an archive of sorts
and asked what was your tongue's favourite taste

the finest of delights fit for a queen
sometimes require a perfect surface
and the way your black hair glimmered that day
i couldn't help but see you
as my little Cleopatra

your curves creating shadows
upon the dimples of your back
i asked if you'd mind, with a zig-zag in my hand

and you looked at me.

and you smiled.

He kisses my lips,
and he ***** my soul.
"There's no one else here," he tells me.

He holds my hands,
and he abuses my heart.
"Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me." I beg.

एक हमारा सत्य परस्पर, जो
रहस्य बन छिपा रहता है जीवन भर

This is our one mutual truth, friend,
that remains hidden a mystery all life:

खेलते रहते हैं  हम, टालते,
कसरती मेहनती हैं, कसरातों
महनतों में खोए रहतें हैं हम

we are busy playing, postponing
the question, and we are workers,
we remain immersed in our
efforts and struggles all life

पर कभी कभी, कल और आज
तक का हो सकता है अंतर, कि
'मित्र' बोलने का नही मिलता अवसर

but a day comes, when the difference
is but between the morrow, and
there's no time to even call out 'friend'

आ जाता है वो बुलावा, तो
व्यूह में फस कभी
लौट नहीं पाते,

when the call comes, so caught
up we become, that return
is not an option from the maelstrom

अचानक सा वो दिन आ जाता
है जब आ सामने उभर कर

suddenly, that we have kept hidden,
comes alive emerging from shadows

ये है जो हमारा सत्य परस्पर,
रहस्य बन रहता है जो जीवन भर

This our mutual truth, that
remains hidden a mystery all life.

Let me be your cigarette
I want you to hold me softly between your fingers
I want your smooth lips to work wonders upon my skin
I want you to breathe me in
I want to be the one to calm you when you're upset
I want to be the thing you live off of and feed off of
Let me be your cigarette, please
I want to feel needed because all my life I have been the second choice
Give me your love and affection
I want your adoration
I want your lips
I want the way your brown eyes light up when you smile
I want your little dimple that appears on the right side of your face when ever you smirk
I want the way you catch a football ever so gently between your hands
I want the way your laugh is so loud and contagious
I want the way that just your presence alone can make me feel amazing
I want you
I want all of you
Because I love you and you are everything to me
Even though I am nothing to you

-b.c.

I was lurking in the darkness
Surround in my abandon
Picking at my scars
contemplating life’s abandonment's
perplexed in Gods damning
and my sharp surroundings closing my eyes against
My internal turmoil
set against the existing struggles
Trying to forget to breath,
Listening to the whispers you start to hear
When everybody leaves.
Crunching dried leaves under
My lost feet and pondering
How I became bare like
Fall’s trees and empty
Like the vast space below dimming stars
And wishing I could be brave again
And dare to dream
Or discover something new
Or belive in anything
Bigger than my own pain.
And then you stepped between greedy branches
Clinging to your shirt
Caressing that shoulder
I have been so known to weep against
You told me
You loved me and I've always known you know me best
There were warm embraces and
A place for weary soul to lean against
You said I had come far enough you’d carry me the rest
And that best friends ought walk together at least
And be in love together at best.