As I woke
I walked over to the pool
The lights rays bursting into my eyes
I don’t mind it

I grab a chair and take in the silence
Surveilling every detail
To the birds
The clouds
The movements of the water
Even me siting there all alone

As I come back to reality
I see that I wrote you a letter
“I’ve felt you leave me. Your presence.”
“So to my dearest Angle, I will start to move on.”

One day I’ll wisper this to a hole in the ground
And bury it
Planting a sunflower seed with it
I’ll watch it nourish and blossom
Both in the earth
And in me

You show me off
as if i'm the plant on your hanging bracket
am I a accessory or a necessity
make up your mind

The fire is calming
It’s beauty
auora
pain
Without it
What would we be
Nothing more than
someone else  
And that’s the worst thing
To happen to us
We let it happen
Now look
There’s nothing else to say
We said it all
We’re nothing else but that

You really are just alike

They always say to keep your head held high
But never over the clouds

As I’m hinged over the sink
I cry, and whisper
“Move on”



I don’t know how long it’ll take

I’ve never felt so lonely
I’ve never felt more alive

I love listening to “hard to find songs”
I like to think that I’m the only one listening to them
Right now
In this very moment
I want to believe it’s not true

As I’m standing outside my open sliding door
During the rain
Listening to the sounds
Not caring who hears
I scream,
“*******! But don’t forget I loved you”
im not going to wait for you no more

I guess I have nothing else to say about Angle

He never loved me then
And he never loved me now

I hope I can recover way more quickly
This time

I sometimes think of your hair
The way you made me feel
Dou, you were and still are the best
You were more than a friend to me
I see you in him,
Sometimes I feel awful about it
I hope you get this somehow
I know your far and all
But I still think we do the same things as before

Note to self:

Work on communication

To every girl you meet eyes with
I felt you’d love her for that  brief moment
But whenever it came to me
It was just a stare to you
Noting but a stare
And I question it every time

It’s my decision to be happy at the end of the day
Not yours

Ode to the sad mans face I saw on the lonely mountain

Say something
I told him
I’m waiting for a response

Me and a close friend of mine came to school early
And walked on the bleachers
Watching the morning sun burn through the thick wall of clouds
As we watch it
We both take turns screaming out our pleads and prayers
Hoping for something to change and happen

Only on these days can I feel sane
In a sense of a complete labyrinth
I’m surrounded by many things, people, and thoughts
I somehow forget about all of the people I’ve meet and felt for, and end up finding myself gathered at the grass viewing the sky
Saying to myself “One day, I’ll see it”

I wish you could see
That for even you, the person that made me feel so much pain
I’d give it all away
Just to see a truly meaningful smile



(I rather see a smile because I know I’ll never get that one kiss from you)

You weaved yourself into my lovely embroidery
I wish you didn’t mess it up
But it’s lovelier
Minimalistic and abstracted (a tree tapestry)

You taught me
That I can’t do this alone
But I’m not sure about that
I feel your roots in me
I know your trying to take my soil

Over time a tree blossomed and produced fruit
Now that your gone
It’s starting to wilt a bit
It’s my duty now to nourish it

Even though the fruit is too bitter and sour
The aftertaste is sweet
I’ll share them, like my poems
Letting everyone enjoy it or dislike it

I went to go withdraw today from school
As I left and headed to my car
I heard a “hey Oliver”
I knew it was you, the masculine tone of your voice when you held me when I cried in your arms
I just held a peace sign and left
For the first time I heard you speak and my heart didn’t ache
Now I truly know, I’m free


(I’m leaving this suburban town, never coming back)

I’ve always been told to be a poster child
Now that I’ve become somewhat of it
I know the effects it has on a person
I’m now feeling the need to revel against the night streets
And no longer wait for it

It’s the complete opposite
And I’ll follow it

That’s the need
I tell myself to have and to be

I might look the same
and I might act the same too
but i'm a little different now
I hope this was for the best
I wish you knew that i'm not strong enough to talk to you right now
say something
please

Today I’ll be happy
Today I’ll be happy
Today I’ll be happy
Today I’ll be happy

your yet to realize
we all go through something similar
we can understand each other more than you think

Your kindness can be easily mistaken for love
It’s disturbing
And I’m tired
You make my head hurt

It’s funny to think about
How your name was Angle
But you weren’t one

Sometimes I can’t sleep at night
I think about your hair
Your eyes
The way you’d put your arm behind your head
When we’d talk
The glances we’d make

It’s been seven months now
I’m in theatre
I met this boy also named Angle
He looks the same
Has the same hair
Even talks the same

I feel like I was given the chance to fix things
As if life brought me up to not make the same mistakes as before

The day I found out he just got out of a relationship with a girl named Jasmine
I...I don’t know
I know now he’ll never love me
The same as the other Angle
I need to stop focusing on boys

But I desperately want to feel loved
So I’ll sleep on it
Thank you for listening

In the end of the day
Somewhere in Arizona
The moment was just perfect
And framed like a picture
That now lays between papers and crayola markers
Waiting for me to one day look back
Smile
Laugh
Cry
And wish to be back

(Though I’ll never really know and understand why)

I’ve know your beauty ever since day one
I’m captivated to be just like you
The part of you that I long to rule over every persona
You don’t try to be good, you are good
I’ll remember this till the day I die
As we speak of this while on the shore
we see the woman watering her dandelions on the hill side
We wait patiently for the sun to come and to end
Never viewing ourselves, but viewing the world surrounding us

We must learn to understand the simple things
To really acknowledge the mesmerizing impact of everything that comes our way
Till then can you get a clear understanding that even the uneventful moments are equally to learn from

Thanks to you,
I made it
And I’m not sure if I’m ever gonna go back


- Alan

Unlike you
I would risk my own life to view the beauty of everything
I’d hold my breath as long as I could to view the waves
Even in the problems you give me
I try to see the beauty
I even try to hold my breath

You lonely bird
How do you do it?
You fly so passionable, but your always alone
What do you see that I can’t?
I envy you
But I’ll never tell you how much I love you

The sweet feeling of release
As we poured more lighter fluid.  
The more it would glaze into the thick air of spring.
We are young.
We are helpless to feeling powerful,
As the fire

My love

I remember being able to see your eyes in the flowers
My dreams
My paintings
And in my life
Now the only thing I can see you in are glances from the other room

See you tomorrow (I hope I never see you again)

I subclude myself from all
When I think to myself
I get lost in the moment of reverie
It might sound lonely and it might feel as if that
But that’s all I’ve ever really known
And I’ve come to call it home
The effect raised me well

If I ever gave you the chance
I would fall in love with your words
I’d let myself
Only if you wanted

“It’s a bad day, not a bad life”

“our fingers are touching, you fake like you're blushing
cause laughing is easier than saying you love me
and maybe you don't but i think that you do”

I prayed to forget all about you
Leave you
And to never comeback
All these things happened but,
I can’t stress this enough...that was love...true love

The room was filled with an aroma
Even though I was sick
I could still tell it was your cologne
Too strong
(As always)
As I laugh it off
I start to cry

To show how bad you were
I fell more in love with the scenery
Than with you

It’s weird...
Now that I’m no longer in love with you, I have no reason to write poetry
I don’t feel the nerve anymore,
I was in a trance

I met two angles
And neither of them helped

Are those two green chairs a figment of my imagination
I don’t know where they came from
They don’t see it
No one else sits on them
They all pass them by looking for seats
As I make my way over
I hear the echoing of your screams as you fell in the shower
It haunts me
As if when you die
I will too
I feel at home
I’m writing this while searching for those two green chairs again

I wish to see you in my dreams
I wish to see your beauty that you call home
I wish to get to know you

In the morning I’ll pick you up to go to school
Hold your hands even though your nervous
In the halls
Let everyone stare
They don’t know this feeling

We’ll skip classes
Run around the football field
Dance and trip
Make up fake passes

We’ll hide behind the tree’s shadow
While my hands on your face
We’ll see eachother from our perspectives
And share a quiet moment
And a kiss

Now noticing that we
Can be loved by strangers
And laugh
And leave school early

A lie is worse (even when the truth is awful)