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Call me Oliver Dec 2018
I miss your kitchen window view
The effect I had on you
Your voice is lost in static waves
Erased by every day
I still watch the daisies you planted me
Every now and then I sit out side my window
After the rain I like to view the muddy soil
Your foot steps still echo through the walls  
I’m writing this as I paint your portrait
I’m stressed and I must accept that I need to get over it. It’s been eight months now.
611 · Dec 2018
Untitled
Call me Oliver Dec 2018
A lie is worse (even when the truth is awful)
Call me Oliver Mar 2019
The best people
Hate, love, laugh, cry, learn, experience

It’s the epitome of what it is to be human
Call me Oliver Nov 2018
The fights we had were quite abnormal
They were quiet
And quite home
461 · Dec 2018
(What else is there to say)
Call me Oliver Dec 2018
I write you letters everyday
Burn them
watch them fade away
Ask you where you going
Ghosting by
Goodbye
Angle
Bye
See you tomorrow (I hope I never see you again)
I hope your happy
I’ll be okay
I’ll be okay
I’ll be okay
I’ll be okay
401 · Nov 2018
Thanks to You, I;
Call me Oliver Nov 2018
Thanks to you,
I made it
And I’m not sure if I’m ever gonna go back


- Alan
Even though my life was simple to you, to me, it was everything. My real name is Alan
339 · Dec 2018
For any winter lovers
Call me Oliver Dec 2018
Love me, when I don’t love myself

Your the best that ever happened

Your skin so deep, I can tell

On a winter day your warm as hell
I’ve only talked to him once today. I think he knows.
339 · Dec 2018
Your not wrong
Call me Oliver Dec 2018
You still bring me flowers
Only to see them die
By all the smashed vases you bring along
You keep coming into my life with something new to break
Call me Oliver Nov 2018
I like gettin you mad
The same way I dab red lollipops onto my lips to make them warmer
I wonder if you notice my change of tone
I’m just trying to get you hyped
I just want your attention
Your selfish attention
Your worse than me
307 · Dec 2018
Untitled
Call me Oliver Dec 2018
I want to cover myself with the sheets while I cry
But I can’t breath
I don’t know what I want more
304 · Nov 2018
Love letters
Call me Oliver Nov 2018
As I slowly drift into the abyss of your love letters
I slowly drift out of reality
I can see roses in your eyes
It calls me
You want me
You call my name
To share a kiss
But know I give only you my bliss
It’s been pluperfect
You say to me
“Nests are hosts to birds, rocks to fish, eyes to handsome boys”
My dear beloved
Pluperfect
297 · Nov 2018
I’m such a coward
Call me Oliver Nov 2018
It was night
You were walking alone
I should have walked with you
I should have told you
You were special
You were wasting my time
And I didn’t stop it on purpose
All because I’m so scared
I’m scared to hear “******”
I’m scared to be screamed at
I’m scared to be
I’m scared to be
I’m scared to be alone
Now you’re gone
You were never in my grasp
I can’t wait for a month
Should I tell you?
I’m horrified
288 · Nov 2018
Too much noise
Call me Oliver Nov 2018
Let it break
You'll feel better
You're always near
But gone forever

I don't hear you
Anymore
There's too much noise
Noise
No I can't hear you
In this noise

Far away
You don't need it
Day by day
But you don't mean it

I don't want to hear you
Anymore
Just give me noise
Noise
No, I don't wanna hear you
In this noise
No, I don't wanna hear you
Give me noise   -Gemma Hayes
279 · Mar 2019
The fire in us
Call me Oliver Mar 2019
The sweet feeling of release
As we poured more lighter fluid.  
The more it would glaze into the thick air of spring.
We are young.
We are helpless to feeling powerful,
As the fire
271 · Jan 2019
Note to self
Call me Oliver Jan 2019
Note to self:

Work on communication
261 · Mar 2019
Self Note
Call me Oliver Mar 2019
your yet to realize
we all go through something similar
we can understand each other more than you think
259 · Dec 2018
Untitled
Call me Oliver Dec 2018
Only if you want to believe, can you truly
209 · Jan 2019
“Move on”
Call me Oliver Jan 2019
As I’m hinged over the sink
I cry, and whisper
“Move on”



I don’t know how long it’ll take
187 · Dec 2018
Fine
Call me Oliver Dec 2018
We don’t talk and that’s okay
Things can change in seven days
I know it was the age
My golden age
There’s a reason I don’t tell you my real information.
181 · Jan 2019
I know
Call me Oliver Jan 2019
I hope you get exactly what your waiting for
I do
And I know it’s not me
Call me Oliver Dec 2018
The fire is calming
It’s beauty
auora
pain
Without it
What would we be
Nothing more than
someone else  
And that’s the worst thing
To happen to us
We let it happen
Now look
There’s nothing else to say
We said it all
We’re nothing else but that

You really are just alike
You Angle, are the same to the other Angle
174 · Feb 2019
My life story
Call me Oliver Feb 2019
I’ve never felt so lonely
I’ve never felt more alive
I take lonely ness and sadness in different ways. I create  from it
166 · Mar 2019
Watch me
Call me Oliver Mar 2019
Watch,
As my crumbs collect back together.
Watch me,
As I change into the person I want to be.
Watch me,
As I do the things I love.
Watch me,
Grow into a better person.
Watch me,
Learn to accept love from others.
Watch me,
Learn to love myself.
Watch me,
Change not just my life but the world.
Watch me,
Dissolve into the soil.
Watch me.
Watch me.
166 · Nov 2018
I Get My Name From You
Call me Oliver Nov 2018
Dear, Olive
I wish you weren’t such a *****
I wonder how your living your days
It’s been over nine years since we last seen eachother
Sometimes I imagine your thinking of me
I still love your platinum blonde hair
Even though your name is Olive
I’m pretty sure it’s not your favorite color
                                -Alan
165 · Jun 2019
Trance
Call me Oliver Jun 2019
It’s weird...
Now that I’m no longer in love with you, I have no reason to write poetry
I don’t feel the nerve anymore,
I was in a trance
You went with my friend, I’ll go with mine
(I hope I never see you again)
165 · Feb 2019
Take notes
Call me Oliver Feb 2019
We must learn to understand the simple things
To really acknowledge the mesmerizing impact of everything that comes our way
Till then can you get a clear understanding that even the uneventful moments are equally to learn from
A few words I’d like to leave off before I die
165 · Dec 2018
You bird
Call me Oliver Dec 2018
You gave me your most true answer
And I didn’t care what it would have been
I would have been happy for you either way
No one said I couldn’t cry about it though
So I still cry about it
163 · Jan 2019
Her last words
Call me Oliver Jan 2019
“I hope to never come back.
May death bring me peace
And love, oh love come...
Love come”
She said such beauties, crying while holding a sunflower. Wishing to never come back to such a place
162 · Nov 2018
Not yours
Call me Oliver Nov 2018
It’s my decision to be happy at the end of the day
Not yours
161 · Apr 2019
And that’s it
Call me Oliver Apr 2019
I linger for that smooth touch on my cheeks
From you
But I’ve grown from this too much to learn that I don’t love you anymore
And that’s it
160 · Jan 2019
It has to hurt to be real
Call me Oliver Jan 2019
“Love hurts, the more you give.

(But that’s the thing, you need to give)
158 · Mar 2019
Self note
Call me Oliver Mar 2019
Today I’ll be happy
Today I’ll be happy
Today I’ll be happy
Today I’ll be happy
158 · Nov 2018
Inhale
Call me Oliver Nov 2018
I’ll leave you saddened with the idea
“I can stand myself being alone”
Maybe for a little longer
I just want to find out if you’ll try to stop me
154 · Nov 2018
Exhale
Call me Oliver Nov 2018
I’ve fallen more in love with your love letters than yourself
Your emotions so captivating and exotic to me
I wish it was meant for me
But I can relate and imagine there is somebody writing me these things
145 · Dec 2018
Arguments
Call me Oliver Dec 2018
I hope I don't turn out like any of them
I see myself in my mother but I can't be like her or my father. He always tries to run from his problems.
Call me Oliver Nov 2018
You are the dread of  waking up in a lonely bed
In the morning
As you start to wake, you will be reminded of her
I will force myself out of bed, reminding myself of you
While your shuffling with your lighter
I’ll be swifting my bitter coffee
You will never fully leave me because,
You never fully stayed
As you look up to the sky
You won’t feel a thing
As I look up to the sky I will feel the pleasure of being alone
When you walk alone on the street
I will be wanting to run wild through it (listening to lorde)
When my hair gets blown by the wind
I will embrace it
You will just try to fix it later
If you read my other poem about Angle, you would know. It’s happened before, and I’m tired.
142 · Dec 2018
You shell of a man
Call me Oliver Dec 2018
You point to everyone including me
Saying in quotes
“I don’t need you, I don’t need you, I don’t need you!”
As you say your going to “******* leave”
A feel a sharp tear pass my face
First it was one
Then it turned to waves
I keep a stone face
I never knew I could be so strong
Without you
Thx dad. For sure you’ll have your own page in my book
142 · Jan 2019
“Somewhere (far)”
Call me Oliver Jan 2019
In the end of the day
Somewhere in Arizona
The moment was just perfect
And framed like a picture
That now lays between papers and crayola markers
Waiting for me to one day look back
Smile
Laugh
Cry
And wish to be back

(Though I’ll never really know and understand why)
139 · Jan 2019
Untitled
Call me Oliver Jan 2019
If you don’t try
You’ll be told to try harder
But if you try too hard
You’ll be discriminated for “selfish ulterior motives”
138 · Apr 2019
I know
Call me Oliver Apr 2019
“ I feel I can do it”
Is much more stronger than
“I think I can do it”
But knowing is much more harder to obtain, it’s the best out of them all
Call me Oliver Jan 2019
In the end
All I wanted was a hug from Angle


In the end
All I needed was a hug
Call me Oliver Feb 2019
I subclude myself from all
When I think to myself
I get lost in the moment of reverie
It might sound lonely and it might feel as if that
But that’s all I’ve ever really known
And I’ve come to call it home
The effect raised me well
132 · Feb 2019
Revel
Call me Oliver Feb 2019
I’ve always been told to be a poster child
Now that I’ve become somewhat of it
I know the effects it has on a person
I’m now feeling the need to revel against the night streets
And no longer wait for it

It’s the complete opposite
And I’ll follow it

That’s the need
I tell myself to have and to be
130 · Mar 2019
I need more than a hug
Call me Oliver Mar 2019
A hug from you after you say “sorry”
Is like a gift
But I need more than a simple gift right now
130 · Jan 2019
Waiting for you hurts me
Call me Oliver Jan 2019
I can’t stand the pain of waiting for you to text me back
I said to you “it’s better just to forget this all happened”
It’s a new year and I swore I’d stop doing these things
...
Waiting for you hurts me
I’m not sure how we’d make this work. I know you don’t love me but I told you everything. Things just gotten awkward. I rather you watch my stories then write me back
129 · Nov 2018
Love, me
Call me Oliver Nov 2018
As I woke
I walked over to the pool
The lights rays bursting into my eyes
I don’t mind it

I grab a chair and take in the silence
Surveilling every detail
To the birds
The clouds
The movements of the water
Even me siting there all alone

As I come back to reality
I see that I wrote you a letter
“I’ve felt you leave me. Your presence.”
“So to my dearest Angle, I will start to move on.”

One day I’ll wisper this to a hole in the ground
And bury it
Planting a sunflower seed with it
I’ll watch it nourish and blossom
Both in the earth
And in me
“Love, me” not “Love me”, there’s a big difference.
127 · Jan 2019
Open your eyes
Call me Oliver Jan 2019
I wish you could see
That for even you, the person that made me feel so much pain
I’d give it all away
Just to see a truly meaningful smile



(I rather see a smile because I know I’ll never get that one kiss from you)
126 · Dec 2018
I never broke that hard
Call me Oliver Dec 2018
I’ve never broken down like that before

My feet went numb
My head was made of stone
My eyes were waves
My voice was crackling like rocks
My hair was draping
The floor was my bed
Your words were my antagonist

I couldn’t breath

I couldn’t believe

I was breaking
Thanks Dad, Angle, emotionaly abusive teacher, Olive,
121 · Feb 2019
Untitled
Call me Oliver Feb 2019
There’s so many reasons to cry
The same way, there’s beautiful reasons to smile
Call me Oliver Jan 2019
“But I guess I learned something from you
you gotta be loud and you gotta yell
You gotta break things and make a mess
and leave it for someone else to clean up in the end”
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