I forgot all about the past
it may have hidden from me
or did it just tuck away
in a place I couldn't see

Either it took up too much space
or I didn't want to see it
Was it too painful or raw
maybe it just didn't fit

I'm sure I didn't need it
so it's perfectly okay
if it had been worth it
I think it would have stayed

I'll continue without the memory
the memory of me and you
I can't remember if it happened
I'll never even know if it was true

Need love to be so close
a comfort to surround me
need love by my side

Tell me you miss me
that it's me that you want
wipe away all the tears I cried

I desperately crave to feel
that there's no one else around us
and it's a world without lies

Wrap your arms around me
I'll stay there for a while
in this place I'll want to hide

Look into my eyes
so deep into my thoughts
there, you can abide

Know me and feel me
keep me so close
any storm we can ride

Always together exploring
searching and discovering
the amazing world so wide

I'll need nothing else
'til the end of my days
my sustenance you can provide

Any worries or fears
I'll share them I promise
in you I will confide

I'll look up to you
stand next to you so willing
my heart so full of pride

If we have to part
please make it brief
and return to me like the tide

I was driven
to repeatedly return
to the 'literal' place of my past.

It was like an obsession!
                  I marched there
                     each day
                        looking ..

but for what I wasn't sure.

So I returned
again and again,
  eyes scanning
   mind rewinding
    in the hope,


that something would connect,
   offer a piece of the puzzle

      a piece of my past ..

           or just ..

                peace.

I fell
and continue to fall
into fantasies
of me and you

I fell,
not just part
but all
and it's all I seem
to do

Steamy
***** moments,
bodies wrapped
in desire,
passionately intense,
burning feelings
creating fire

I'm kissing reality
goodbye,
I'll stay
in my imagination,
as each time
you pass me by
I'm resisting
a torturous
temptation

; )

She reads him
wanting to absorb
all that he is,
feeling his words
almost touch her skin

She reads him
his words, upon her parted,
wet lips
His pain, a taste, familiar,
left upon her tongue

She reads him
savouring the flavour
she is lost in him forever
****** by his poetry

Yay! It's the weekend
out with the girls tonight
Feeling rather perky
but wish my backside was feeling tight

I've squeezed it into jeans
they hold everything in!
Can't eat or drink too much
as there's really not much give

I will make it work though
and wiggle it all with pride
feeling 'bootylicious'
Thank god I've got alcohol on my side!

:D

~ I began fitness training
a few weeks ago.
The Instructor!
What can I say!
He's too young for me,  obviously,
but I can't help but notice
his skin is a sweeter shade of caramel.
There is not a blemish to be seen,
(trust me I've looked)
His beautiful brown eyes,
I desperately try not to get lost in,
and dark hair that I know smells just great!
For me,  it's the shape of a man's legs
that would 'clinch the deal'
He has those legs
It's such a shame that he's too young,
or I'm too old,
oh, and I nearly forgot
I'm married!!
But if he can't keep me coming ..



back to fitness,
I really don't know what will! ~

; )

○

I'm looking
     because I wish to see

Searching
      because I wish to find

Listening
      because I wish to hear



I'm wanting
      because I wish to become

Retreating
       because I wish to observe

Loving
     because I wish to be loved

○

My heavy heart feels so fragile today
I'm sure it is leaning to one side
I hope this feeling doesn't last
it's affecting the clarity of my mind

I'm pretty sure the beat is slower
and it's affecting the way I move
struggling to manoeuvre limbs
I soon hope things will improve

I've decided just to lay here
to let the feeling fade
I hope my heart's healed tomorrow
so I can begin a brand new day

◆
The characters you form into words
                  
                                     tingle on my tongue

I can almost taste them
                                         like sweetness
                                                       laced with luxuria

I'd love to pause within them
                 so that I could just sit
                                     unnoticed
            while you scribe beautiful
                            curls and swirls
                                             around me

Your pen in motion would tell me
             how my name would sound
                    when whispered by you.


Tiptoeing
                          around loving words so gentle
                     I would feel them beneath my toes
                                           as they brush over them
                                                  
             ­                                                   playfully


­    Wandering slowly between phrases,
       phrases that truly capture my heart
          causing an ache inside
            so deep
              it's not in my chest anymore


          Longingly lingering in your stanzas
                                     filled with metaphors
                                                            deco­rated
                                                   with your scent
                                I close my eyes, and inhale


        My pupils dilate
  at the thought of you,
                             writing

There's such an intense
                                            expression
         ­                                  on your face

               I want to reach out ....
                                

If you didn't notice me
             I could stare deep
   into those delicious eyes
                                    so dark

    I sit here,
                      I wonder what I would see..
                        I wonder what you are like..
                        

                                                            ◆

You smiled at me 'today'
your eyes showed
that the past was forgotten ...
  
     for now

I know that today
was a good day for you

It's taken an illness
to warp your mind
made you forget ..

    who you are ..

        who you were

You didn't remember 'today'
that we hate each other
It's a strong word I know
but it's true
we both know it

but you don't remember that fact
   ..  'today'

so I sit with you ...

and smile too

Just take me now
I really don't care
this body,  again,
with you,  I will not share

During each and every kiss
you inhaled my soul
then stole even more
when I'd have given it all

So just take me now
this one last time
and kiss me so hard
before I change my mind

It's dawn and I'm poetically positioned
in my bed,
trying to shake the darkest of nights
from my head

Conversations in dreams
run through my mind
all night,
exhausting me of reasons,
and of fight

Rational thoughts keep me going
yet drive me insane
knowing yours will be the only
imprint in me that remains

Etched into my mind
and saddened soul
Pining you has finally
taken its toll

The redness of my heart is fading
day by day
not one thing will revive it
no matter what I say

This sorrowful scenario
I'll continue to repeat
until the day
my hindered heart
ceases to beat

I think I might be evil
or a wicked witch maybe
each time my spouse is annoying
he acquires a curious injury!

It's not really a conscious thought
that goes through my mind
although it really seems to work
in my favour, I find!

He'll try to be sarcastic
and think he's really funny
he may be brave enough to mention
that I don't earn all the money

but when he begins to stand
and maybe try walking
he'll almost trip over
and feel that he's suffering

He joked about my weight one day
then tried to run and flee
I just sat there 'glaring' at him
hearing a shocking 'crack' from his knee

So maybe I am a witch
It really makes me wonder
while he's writhing in pain by my feet
I'll just sit here and ponder

; )

A love so violently gentle
in an impulsive kind of way
I felt so beautifully ugly
a thought, I heard myself say
                   You were always coldly warm
                    as we talked about our pasts
                    Showing your most hateful smile
                    that you often wore as a mask
A dry moisture upon my lips
still remains from our first kiss
when my hair so wildly tame
wrapped around your fingertips
                     Our heartbeats, silently heard
                      as life was passing by
                      A weight, as light as a feather
                      fell upon us from the sky
Now our completely happy nightmare
moves swiftly to an end
I find myself laughing angrily
at this situation I have penned

A knife to the heart
would surely cause you to fall
the pain would last for seconds
followed by deaths shallow call

Love manages to keep you alive
for days,  months,  years
the pain doesn't ever fade
the scars like unwanted souvenirs

A gunshot to the stomach
and you would surely bleed to death
it wouldn't take that long
for you to take your last breath

Love manages to store the pain
deep within your gut
there's no escape from it
it won't release you when you've had enough

A sip of poison
although painfully slow
your body can't fight it
so see the light and let go

Loves deadly kiss upon tender lips
a toxic running through me
held permanently within a lovers grip
now I beg for death to set me free

and again I am woken
thoughts and worries
race through my bloodstream
it seems,
until I am fully aware

I've learned not to fight it
so I read or write
trying to distract myself
from haunting thoughts

sometimes I enjoy
the stillness
that accompanies
4 o'clock in the morning

I feel lonely and isolated
but also enjoy sharing the
'hush'
with nothing and no one
just me,
sitting hand in hand
with 4 o'clock
in the morning

I need to find a memory
that I can cling on to
There must be at least one
a good one of me and you

Maybe one from childhood
or my quiet teenage years
Just one where there are smiles
instead of anger or tears

I'd like a 'good' memory
onto which I can hold tight
I'll think of it only sometimes
and now it just seems right

I think it would really help
to have one among the bad
It's just that right now I'm struggling
mixed emotions about the mother I should have had

So I need to find a memory
that I can cling on to
There must be at least one
a good one of me and you

Please don't tell me you love me
These words are said too easily
Just smile in that way I love so dearly
Lock your eyes onto mine, a connection I can see
A fleeting caress, a sensation I can feel
Hold your body so close I can hear you breathe
Listen to my mundane stories with empathy
Hear my deepest fears with sympathy
Talk to me and I wil listen to your dreams
Walk with me, let us both feel free

So please don't tell me you love me
Show me in ways I'll feel most deeply

■Memories of the past
often force their way in
an invasive force
dark and ugly nightmares
it brings

Disturbing my sleep
evoking forgotten feelings
an intruder in the night
and my sanity it's stealing

Messing with my head
a chaotic storm inside
leaving my body fraught,
completely drained of life

Not much more of this
can I allow myself to take
mentally beaten now
all that remains
is a dull ache■

Do you sometimes feel
that your beauty is fading?
Soft creases around your eyes?

Are you trying to hold on
to what the years are taking
feeling the last of youth as it dies?

There is, however, a certain time
when a woman 'comes into her own'
and has a wisdom within her life

An intuitive inner confidence
unveiling outer calm
a knowing in her sighs

She has an understanding of her image
her soft curves and their affects
fragments of her self consciousness rapidly dies

A sureness to her sensual style
air of authority to her stride
an enlightenment no one can deny

Embrace the creases that tell your story
your beauty will continue to mystify
a choice today that you can decide

The years of youth are never lost
they're carried forever within
our body, is youth, just a little more disguised

The snappy air has 'pinked my cheeks'
ruffled my dark curls
swept cobwebs away and so much more
from my mind

Going through the motions, I walk
My dogs, eager for adventure,
I, am keen to ponder
so I allow them to discover
all they can find

Meanwhile I roam a little
inside my head
while taking in how winter
is trying to take hold
and is redesigning nature

Bare and stark, gloomy at times
but I embrace the change
expectant and excited like a child still
at the thought of snow

Awaiting a blanket of white innocence
a welcome change from disorder
Layers of glittering calm
that will cause a ripple effect
in my mind

They say 'time heals all' and it has faded the memory of you, although not convinced it would, and unsure if this was even true

I sit here and briefly ponder, since you have become just a face, the image of someone I once knew from a hazy kind of place

It's like a memory of a film that I felt such a part of, knowing each and every word, immersed in feelings of love

So old, it has now become and the image quite distorted, your face, completely out of focus, all clarity exhausted

The film has run its course, the audience left long ago, this was the very last viewing, of this worn out meaningless show

The sea is rolling in
wishing to gently greet me
wanting to speak softly
in a voice so inviting

Like angels wonderful whispers
to my eager ears
kissing sounds so soothing
to kindly quell my fears

Milky liquid movement
silky to the touch
it's where I should always be
here, the only sound is 'hush'

The sun's shining and twinkling
reflectively on the ocean
like an angels azure eyes
filled with wondrous notions

This is where I'm at home
welcoming me each time
a spiritual and heavenly sea
peaceful waves rolling rhyme
after rhyme