A knife to the heart
would surely cause you to fall
the pain would last for seconds
followed by deaths shallow call

Love manages to keep you alive
for days,  months,  years
the pain doesn't ever fade
the scars like unwanted souvenirs

A gunshot to the stomach
and you would surely bleed to death
it wouldn't take that long
for you to take your last breath

Love manages to store the pain
deep within your gut
there's no escape from it
it won't release you when you've had enough

A sip of poison
although painfully slow
your body can't fight it
so see the light and let go

Loves deadly kiss upon tender lips
a toxic running through me
held permanently within a lovers grip
now I beg for death to set me free

Some times I wonder how I would cope
stranded on an Island sporting a thong made of rope
Not sure what I'd do about my hairy pits
And I've got curly hair so I'm sure I'd get nits
I suppose I could exfoliate with a coconut shell
but the unwanted hair would be absolute hell!

I could go without make up and pretty clothes
and I'd have time to practise my Yoga pose
I would work on my tan, relax and chill
even catch breakfast with my new fishing skills

This actually sounds like a dream to me
so much alone time, just me and the sea
I'd look fab with a tan and a body so ripped
cellulite gone and slender hips
Wearing a grass skirt, feeling it sway
feeling so alive eating my five-a-day!

Please don't tell me you love me
These words are said too easily
Just smile in that way I love so dearly
Lock your eyes onto mine, a connection I can see
A fleeting caress, a sensation I can feel
Hold your body so close I can hear you breathe
Listen to my mundane stories with empathy
Hear my deepest fears with sympathy
Talk to me and I wil listen to your dreams
Walk with me, let us both feel free

So please don't tell me you love me
Show me in ways I'll feel most deeply

They say we should be prepared in life
for those difficulties thrown our way
It's important to be ready for them
'change' is the only thing that stays the same

So what are the rules and guidelines?
This I really need to learn
There should be a detailed manual
to guide us through twists and turns

How do we really prepare?
Can't we just follow certain steps?
We do it all the time
but I haven't seen the manual yet!

I know this may sound so strange
but I like to get things right
I want to always be prepared
for those things, not yet in sight

So if anyone has a written plan
or steps numbered 'one' 'two' and 'three'
I'd really appreciate a copy
I'd be sure to carry it around with me

I think I'm still
searching
My body desperate

yearning ..

for you

I'm sure you're
calling
I reach out but I'm

falling ..

for you

I move towards
the warmth
Longing for the

strength ..

in you

Many times I've tried
to run
My thoughts always

return ..

to you



x

She's building her strength
  within her   mind
  within her   heart

Unsure to begin with
  but    determined
to find a place to start

At first, not aware she needed to
however, cracks began to show

Realising for her own
  'protection'
as she feared  another
  heartless blow

Wanting only to show
  kindness
simply needing to offer
  love
Clarity of thought emerged
she now knew it could be done

To heal this and herself
  'gently'
with a
  
strength,

and   truth,
    in her words

She can stand alone
  and strong,

       small,
         yet
powerful enough
  to be heard

It was so familiar to me
walking across this empty land
lonely but accustomed somehow
was it really what life had planned?

I never questioned how it was
it just 'was' you see
I tried hard and carried on
knowing I was alone, it was always just me

Time passed as it usually does
yet it seemed reluctant in some ways
and if this was how it used to be
Why does it still feel the same these days?

The coldness, in it creeps
nightmares, disturb my sleep
all is magnified without you

The heaviness, holding me
it's grip so menacing
lost is the sunlight I once knew

The darkness, settling in
fighting before it begins
not sure if I am strong enough

The silence, so loud inside
fearing, there's nowhere to hide
Is this what it's like without love?

I tried to write a poem
one that wasn't about you
it's more difficult than I thought
you're like a permanent tattoo

I didn't want to include love
and the way you make me feel
or how my heart is pulled
by the words you make so real

Each and every one of them
touches a place so very deep
piercing the depths of me
even while I'm asleep

A poem without mention
of the lust I feel for you
penetrating my body
just at the thought of 'us two'

I failed at writing a poem
one that wasn't about you
never to rid you from my mind
you have all of me *consumed

I wonder if you know* ..

it's the way you gently touch my fingertips
while we are in bed together
between sleep and dreams

You don't realise ..

that I often just look at that soft, darkly tanned skin
at the back of your neck, and know what it feels like
against my lips

You'd never think that ..

the creases around your eyes
the grey in your hair
makes you look 'just delicious'!

You don't know ..

when you place your hands on my body
and you're not trying to be suggestive
is when I find it most arousing

Did you realise that ..

even after 25 years together
when "Louise" leaves your lips
that sound,  is my most favourite in the world

Did you know ...

among all the romantic gestures
that you have blessed me with
it is these things that allow me to fall for you even deeper

So, my father, what can I say!
It's not that he left or went away
There in body but not in mind
No comfort from him I could find
Disapproving glances, few words to say
No love in his eyes while watching me play
Protective hands did not wipe my tears
Without a soothing voice to destroy my fears
No strong arms around me to hold me tight
I felt such a burden, so kept out of sight
Little did I know it was him who felt ashamed
A father he wasn't meant to be, a father he never became

Locked in this frightening place
it's a nightmare yet I'm awake
All alone,  how long has it been?
Not sure how much I can take

Forgetting who I can call
can't even remember their names
I still can't tell how long it's been
Have I been like this for days?

Reflections in the mirror
they seem to be mocking me
I want to escape this place
but it's a condition called Dementia you see

Starting off with a direction
then losing all idea of my plan
sometimes I'm just in my own world
not worrying about who I am

At the end of each exhausting day
during darkness and a thousand chills
my reality is again tainted
brutally bending my mind further still

I'm in my PJ's
my head still feels fuzzy.
This beautiful morning
fortunately is gently caressing,
creating clarity, slowly.
I just enjoy it while
sipping Tea with honey

It's only 9am,  yet so calm
considering it's the beginning of the new day
but it's like a Sunday should be.
The birds are making me feel quite guilty though
They're so busy!
As I sit on the patio
sipping Tea with honey

Not yet ready for the sun
I hide away in the shade
inhaling the beauty of the garden,
so thankful for the trees.
They know me and understand
I like to be hidden sometimes
while sipping Tea with honey

I think I'd like some time
to reflect and recover
it'll be thought insignificant
by you and possibly others

It feels like a weight
that I'm certain to carry
a burden that's stagnant
causing me to worry

I'm sure you will continue
proceeding with your day
perhaps I'll resolve it
but alone again in many ways

There's sufficient time
for my mind to solve it
I cannot make my move
or resolve things yet

So for a measurable time
I'll ponder on the issue
but I wonder in the end
Will I still miss you?

◆◆◆◆


How can it still so often feel

       like an eternity

               since our last touch

                     when we were together

                           only days before




                        It is the closest thing

                    to a beautiful torment,

                my throat squeezes a sound

             from me, that makes us fear

      an end to this painful pleasure 

  is coming




             The fierce burning

                    that you're striving hard

                         to quench

                              will be in flames

                                   once again

                                        

                ­                  
                                    My hunger for you

                                will need to be fed

                             Your body

                         I fear

                    will be my

                sacrifice

                ◆◆◆◆

She no longer writes about 'him'
she is without words
without structure
without rhyme

she no longer feels him
she is without sense
without emotion
without affection

she no longer wants him
she is without need
without lust
without love

She ..

      no longer ..

                 is

I love 'Chick Lit'
yes, it's true
My guilty pleasure
I'll share with you
I can't help it
I love it so
it's easy to read
and has a steady flow
My brain works hard
all day long
pick up 'chick lit'
you can't go wrong
I love the romance
and all it seems
'His' muscles flexing
'She' always beams!
All the kissing
oh, so intense
and the throbbing members
apparently they're immense!

; )

I turn to you my friend
when I feel alone and down
'every time' and 'now and then'
you listen without making a sound

You're reliable, my closest comfort
you'll forever stand by me
not judging my trivial thoughts
you're just 'there', you let me breathe

I run to you in those many moments
when I can't take it anymore
you're the only thing that makes sense
we know we've been here before

I'll return to you again and again
I trust you with my heart
my sole and solitary haven
we'll never be far apart

You rid me of my demons
and shed my many fears
helping me to confront them
and the soak up all my tears

I know I'll never leave you
you're my most supportive friend
you know my intent is true
and accept always, the love I send

So, dear poetry, I give my all to you
you helped to set me free
opened my eyes to the world of words
let me be, let me breathe and just be me

Standing alone on this wild shore
experiencing sensual sand between my toes
the coolness, comforting, caressing
A warmth securely surrounds me
My eyes, not seeing
My body absorbing all

I was aware of you before me, so close
devoid of sound like an old movie
except I could hear us breathing
The wind felt firm and warm,
it was creating movement around us

Seeing you and your smile lifted everything in me
yet I wanted to let forgotten tears fall
My heart was beating with exhilaration
so close to one another
but without an embrace or caress

Iridescent sparkles coloured your eyes
they bore deep, paralysing me
I couldn't have left you if I'd wanted to
Why couldn't we stay this way?
Forever on this wild shore

I heard my name
upon whispers
within sighs
and wondered
if you'd remembered
the sadness of our
goodbyes

I felt a gentle touch
upon a breeze
within the night
and wondered
if you'd treasured
the love
in my eyes

I tasted a moment
upon your lips
within a kiss
and wondered
if you found pleasure
in us
as much as I

I inhaled a scent
upon a memory
within my mind
and wondered
if you'd surrender
to me
one more time

Pretty Poeta and her pen
movement swift and graceful
hiding away in her den
for the peace she is grateful

Lost in her wonderful world
of fantasy and dreams
she can imagine she's an innocent girl
in a world where nothing is as it seems

Creating rhymes with words
expressing thought after thought
penning her experience of the world
and the dreams she has sought

Immersed in the amazing feeling
of powerful pen in hand
all emotions sent reeling
she allows the pen to write their plans

She's offered a freedom with words
that's not permitted in each day
all thoughts displayed and heard
no judgements stand in her way

Although she will come back to earth
reappearing from time to time
she writes for all she's worth
when she's lost in her romantic rhymes

I always watch the way you laugh
the lovely creases around your eyes
sometimes you act tough
although you're not, despite your size

It's the most immature things
that you find so very amusing
making my heart sing
I just can't stop watching

It suddenly reminds me
that there's an innocence to you
laughing so heartily
any funny joke will do

Your laughter is so alluring
I deeply love that side of you
my little heart starts purring
I'll want to be in your arms soon

I don't know what it is
but I just need to stop and gaze
it's a moment of beautiful bliss
our surroundings are in a haze

Your handsome face lights up
a gorgeous smile displayed
I hope the laughter never dies
and will continue to fill our days

I punish myself with words
give them the freedom
  to invade my mind
   tormenting my own soul
     Why do I do this so many times?

I'm inflicting my own pain
and cannot seem to stop
  On desperately dark nights
   the cruelty, so strong
    I don't know what's real
     and what's not

Sleep is no longer an option
I drag my body
  to be with the living
   Still alone
    and so frightened though
     I'm like a child
      that's scared and grieving

I only write from the heart.
The characters in my words
   and the words in my thoughts
    are nestled there.
     This is not
       where I intend to store them
         they accumulate over time
           consistently they gather there,
  
                   words,

                 ready to form phrases
                describing events

               that touch me

             I am stirred
            so deeply at times
           that my insides 'feel' and 'pull'
          It can stop me in my tracks,

         that feeling

      almost like a physical pain

        So my thoughts are written
          from there

            that place

              not my mind

                interlaced and intermingled ..

                  with a soul ..

                    that fills me.

I wanted to stop time
our heated bodies entwined
                      Caressing sensuous skin
                       with wet lips that taste of sin
Just surrender to the kiss
such tantalising bliss
                       A tempting and teasing tongue
                        oh yes, I am now undone
Falling in way too deep
you have my soul to keep
                      All senses lit and on fire
                        you, are all that I desire
Tongue tracing the curves of me
I'm surrounded in a haze ..
                                               of ****** ..
                                                               ecstasy

Time will take you, I know
from the memories in my mind
It saddens and relieves me
all at once and at the same time

No right to be there
when they're gone they'll be briefly missed
the pain they once delivered
like venom held within a kiss

Each time they touched me
a little poison ran through my veins
it changed and rearranged me
I wondered if I'd ever feel the same

Coursing through my bloodstream
like a virus in its perfect form
corroding and scarring my insides
leaving parts of me damaged and torn

My body has struggled to recover
defending a self destructive force
It lives within my mind
and inhabits dark corners of my thoughts

I'll try not to miss you
but it's hard to release it completely
I don't know what will fill that space
if you ever really leave me