my heart always rumbled any
And every time the clock turned 20:12
The fear of dying,
The thought of everything
Ending for good one day,
Kept 11 year old me up at night
But the older i get,
The wider i see the world,
The more i want Everything to be done
16 year old me always fantasized how
The world would end, how
Cool and calm it would be, how
Tranquility would feel like.
21 year old me was hit with a realization
It was never going to be such things as
The end of the world
Only the end of humanity
And it was never going to be
An easy phenomenon to get pass as
Those big waves flushing us down
Killing us in one breath and
After that we feel nothing more
No pain, nothing remain as
Depicted in those disaster films
Death will never be easy
And the end of humanity will
Never not come with
The drained, the drought
The famine, the fouls
The illnesses that slowly **** us
And the climate changes that slowly torture us
Some years i wish that my doing is enough—
i thought my doing was enough.
Until i learned that no matter how
Many plastic bags i reused,
Plastic bottles i recycled,
Plastic straws i refused,
And the old clothes i upcycled,
It will never be enough.
Some months i wish the humanity could end for good,
For the sake of the Mother
Whose breath lets us breathe
Whose blood lets us bathe
And whose babies lets us banquet.
Some days, i wish to my dear universe
For Everyone to see
That we are only leading towards the end
Passing the pathways filled
With nor petals nor thorns
But starvation and sickness
With no salvation nor sanity
Just sorrow and sadness
And none can be avoided when
No one seems to see how
Much a disaster we’re about to be in
And no one seems to care how
Sad the tragedy we’re about to be living
Some hours i close my eyes
And listen to the sounds of
The symphony my Mother loves to play
With the mix of
Wind blowing,
Birds chirping,
Stream flowing,
Sun ray beaming,
White clouds floating,
Thunderstorm forming,
Rain drops showering,
Frogs harmonizing,
Rainbow shining,
And bees buzzing.
Some minutes i cannot wait to be the part of all beauty
And embrace myself the way i embrace nature
But be reminded of how people would treat me
From the way they treated nature,
i can only second guess my judgment.
Some seconds i scare i will be there after
my dear Fauna friends
i am scared that i will only outlive
my dear Fiona friends
And i terrify for what is to come:
That i know of,
That i do not know of,
And that i do not know of
But know certainly is about to come.
I wrote this solely to submit to a contest but at the very last minute I read how the content need to not be sensitive matter or be in anyway offensive and I decided that they are all here (I actually started the original one with how I've always wanted to die lol). So I abandoned it being almost done after I decided to not enter the thing anymore. It's been 5 months, I happen to have dug it up, and finish and now publishing it. For Mother Nature.
*actually written as a spoken word piece. There was one period that I suddenly become obsessed with spoken word poems so I wrote two. None of them did I get to cite anywhere lol.